Inspection

I think you are on to something with this concept.

Let me start by saying that the actor gave a respectable performance. The kid has potential IMHO. I also thought the fx were more than respectable. Like I said the story (however symbolic in nature) is a good one.

On the other hand, as conrad so directly stated above...the framing was quite distracting. That is taken directly from my notes. Though I'm sure it was meant to create a stylized look, it quickly becomes more of an agitation to the viewer...taking him out of the story.

The script was good, but could of used a spit shine (especially on the Doctor's lines.)

Congrats overall though on a job well done.
 
I'm going to agree on the framing. It needed more attention paid to what was being shot.

This was a clever story. It has a lot of possibilities. I also thought the actors did a good job.

You just need to pay more attention to what you are shooting an get the best set ups.
 
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The VFX rated the highest with regards to qualities for this film ... I was actually pretty impressed with the paneling opening up, the lighting, etc. Next up was the acting ... I thought they delivered fairly well.

Otherwise, lighting, framing, etc. just needed to be worked on. Otherwise, an enjoyable film.
 
Hi Dave,

I have a few comments for you... all meant in the spirit of learning, so I hope you can take my criticisms okay... don't mean to offend...

Your sound was okay, but you had some issues... there seemed to be a lot of noise that was really distracting, especially at the beginning.

Acting was good... I believed the characters in their roles.

Lighting was mostly okay, but your framing was odd (already mentioned by others)... the weirdest shot was when he first sits down in the chair... the camera pans down and the movement seems unplanned and unfinished.

I found the story a bit hard to follow... didn't "get it" -- or the message. Her dialogue was hard to follow and didn't make any sense to me at all... I had no idea what she was talking about... didn't get the symbolism. I think it was maybe too deep for me ;)

The face effect was pretty cool, and you paid attention to details which is good. Your movie is just one of the ones where I think the story didn't really get across it's point to the viewer.
 
Good story. I liked the acting too.
About framing, maybe it was shot correctly in 4:3 but the cropping for 16:9 got too much outside the frame. I say it because it happened to me in some shots.
Her head gets cropped too many times, IMHO.
Anyway, it's one of my favourites to be up there.
Good job
Pablo
 
Thanks. This production was originally a play, adapted to a short film. It could easily be 20min +, was alot of material cut out due to time. Raw comments appreciated!
 
Bad framing issues for me hurt this short.

After you start your pan shot of the Dr to guy you go to a tight shot of the guy all that's fine but when you cut back to the pan shot the framing is bad. I would have cut to a shot of the Dr or something.

Also cutting off half his face to show his hands in the chair is fime but if his hands aren't doing anything interesting the face cut seems wierd. and an uninteresting shot and angle.

Intro goes on too long for my taste but loved the music.

Acting's good

Ending should have faded out.

Just some observations...

Kip Kubin
 
Overall a good piece. I assumed the framing issue was a 4:3 to widescreen issue. I didn't think it was intentional and hardly ruined watching it for me.

It felt too long. Too drawn out. The setting wasn't entirely believeable. It didn't look like a doctor's office, but it didn't look like a robotics repair office (or a mix of the two) either.

Acting was pretty good. Better than average.

I can't imagine this being stretched to 20+ minutes let alone being a play unless there's a lot more plot that we're missing, but that's just me. If it was condensed to 6 minutes and it still feels long to me, I shudder to think what longer versions would play like.

Nice work!

-Robert
 
Hmm, I'm gonna disagree and say this didn't feel long to me at all. I was interested pretty much the whole way through. People are indicating that this was a "robot" story--but I took it as a cybernetic implant of some kind rather than the main character being robotic. (After all, there was that skull). The sound was a bit off at times, though interesting when it was meant to be interesting, and it seemed to end kind of abruptly (not in terms of plot, in terms of the literal ending cut) I'm with everyone else that the acting was definitely above average, I believed both characters. I think I could've used a little more payoff. Like I said, I wasn't bored by it, it didn't drag for me, but it never really got the bam-zoom impact it could've.
 
As the others stated above, the framing was quite distracting, and I particularly didn't like some of your editing choices, such as showing a closeup of his eyes twice, once would have been sufficient for me.
Another thing is that when you show that back of his head and the doctor opening it up, I thought there was something wrong with my Windows Media Player; it was a weird set of cuts. But on the positive note:

I absolutely loved the plot!! Very, very clever.

I first started watching thinking the guy was just plain nuts, hearing voices and all, and that it was a real doctor's office. So when the twist of the story shows itself and we see that he's a robot I was very pleased. Great job!
I also liked it when he gets up and heads towards the door and you can see a blinking blue light in the back of his head.

Keep it up.
 
Thanks. The framing issues are the cropping due to the 16:9 requirements. I should have shot it in widescreen mode to correctly frame the shots... doh!

Sorry for the quick ending, it was quite abrubt!

Thanks for the feedback, more more more!! :)
 
The picture quality and the sound was ok. Although I did find that the womans voice kept distorting occasionally I thought it amusing with the flashing blue light in the back of his head as he left, and was not impressed with his hairstyle.
 
I really liked your lead actress--she really was very good! Odd framing and weird dolly move at the beginning was distracting, like everyone else said. If you're going for "weird camera move" you gotta make it weirder, so it doesn't just look like a mistake. Also, you had a GREAT location! But you needed to take more advantage of it and dress it differently, and light it more . . . I dunno, light it more something. Overall, a very nice effort! I enjoyed it!

Oh, I just read the post that explained the framing. Boy, I bet you weren't happy about that!
 
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