C200: I just completed my first web series, and I'm looking for some feedback on Episode 1.

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giovannylago

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SUNSET PLACE - EPISODE 1


Hey guys! I recently upgraded from the C100 to the C200 and this is the first project we shot with it. Looking for some feedback on Episode 1.

Mainly, I want to know if after watching it, are the concept and premise clear (and not confusing)? Our goal was to try to make every episode shorter than 3 minutes long, and it wasn't easy. Our scripts were only 2.5 pages, and somehow the first cut of every episode clocked in at around 5 minutes long. From there, the editing process was very grueling because deciding what to keep and what to cut was very difficult.

We tried to strike the balance between brisk pace and story and we've watched it so many times we don't know if the end result is a confusing mess.

I'd also like to get an idea of your thoughts on the general execution. Is it competent filmmaking? How's the editing, color grade, lighting, sound, story and acting? Does the teaser do a good job of setting up the series/first episode? Does it drag?

Thanks!
 
Hey man, so my wife and I just finished watching this together and thought we'd share our thoughts. First off, the overall execution was very good. Great lighting, color, attention to detail, overall sound design (which was fantastic by the way) and the acting was great as well. My wife mentioned that her favorite parts were the interview with the manager as well as when you cut back to the music videos.

Our critiques are not on the execution or quality of the production, but instead on the overall storytelling. While it made sense and we got the gist of where you were going, we felt it had an abrupt ending that didn't seem very punctual. It didn't make us feel wanting for another episode and also didn't quite explain the desire to come to America.

Quick question. Why three minutes and not five? Five feels like a good length to us. Overall though, great job and we are excited to see where you go with it.
 
Hey Joshua, thank you so much for taking the time to give us such thoughtful feedback!

The idea behind the abrupt ending was supposed to be that after all of this flashy build up, they arrive in America and no one cares. It's supposed to feel almost like "whomp whomp."

And we gave ourselves the 3 minute limit as a bit of a challenge. The YouTube analytics on our other videos showed that 70% of people weren't watching our videos all the way until the end, so we wanted to see how that would change by just making shorter videos.

It definitely feels like we handicapped ourselves though. Im afraid we might have cut too much out.

It's a learning experience though!
 
Giovanny, congratulations on your project! It looks great. I thought the energy and performances were on point and funny. Some great gags too.

However, as you alluded to in your original post, I do think the story is confusing and the edit needs a bit of restructuring. (i'm an editor by trade, and hate to criticize another editor's work, but hey, you asked... ;)

My biggest overall note would be that the edit, as it stands, doesn't do a good job of establishing locations and characters well, and that's what leads to the confusion. If the entire thing is supposed to be delusions of grandeur, I'm not sure that comes across either. So many of the shots are presented as "fact" as opposed to "fantasy." Film language is important.

Specific notes:

1. I'd save the opening titles for the end. That would mitigate what Joshua alluded to above as an abrupt ending. Basically, given the short length of the film, and the fact that most people coming into it have no idea what it's about (in contrast with a film or show they've seen ads for), I'd follow what trailers do: Put the titles at the end. You could drop in a short button after the titles if you have such a scene.

2. Honestly, I had to watch this a couple of times to get some of the fundamentals. So "Sunset Place" is the name of the duo? It's such an LA-sounding name: Sunset Blvd (film and actual street), Sunset Plaza, "sunny Los Angeles," etc. Again, it threw me at the beginning to see this at the top, yet, they're in Romania? I get they're coming to Los Angeles, but does create confusion. Maybe add an MTV-style lower third ID'ing the duo on the music video shots so we more concretely understand "Sunset Place" is their name.

3. The line, "biggest American pop stars in Romania" doesn't make sense to me. Are they American? Are they Romanian? Everyone speaks perfect English. Why do we see "Sting" on the shot of the fans running towards the amphitheater? I think the line would be funnier and make more sense if it was more convoluted / qualified so that it's technically true, but hardly worthy of boasting, like, "We're the biggest American-born pop stars between the ages of 24 and 26 in Romania". (Why does everyone speak perfect English?)

4. That nighttime shot of them hearing their song from the passing car... It's so obviously LA. A lower third saying it's Romania doesn't really sell it. Again, it adds to the confusion of location. What I would do is to use this shot at the top. It eases the viewer in, and gives a sense of the charming ridiculousness of the characters. In other words, open with this shot, and lower third it as LA. Then flash back to the beginning, and slap a big fat "ROMANIA" chyron so we know where we are, and begin the journey.

5. Keep the lower thirds of the duo's names on longer. Way too quick to land properly.

6. Not sure what the shot of the manager swigging from his flask does. If it's establishing him as a hard drinker for later episodes, maybe. If just a lead-in to the club scene, I'd lose it.

7. Some of the dialogue is pretty incomprehensible. Just needs some mix tweaks I think. For example, the "cute kid though" line I had to listen to a few times and crank the volume to understand what he was saying.

Hope I haven't rained on your parade here. I think you do have a funny show on your hands, and that's a great thing! Lastly, I don't think this needs to be longer. Lose the manager swigging shot and you're closer to 3 mins. But I'd forget about setting any sort of artificial constraints based on Youtube metrics. It's not helpful at all, and your storytelling should dictate length, not vice versa.

Wishing you great success!
 
Thank you so much for the notes! I agree, I think saving the opening titles for the end would have been a much better choice. The biggest cut we made was an interview with the manager where he flat out said. "We tried it in the states back in the day, but the boys were too green... so we came to Romania to conquer a smaller audience." I think that would have clarified a lot of the back story. It definitely feels like a mistake now, but it felt so repetitive and like unnecessary exposition after playing it back so many times during the edit.

The concept is loosely based on a friend's experience. He was in an American band that had a top ten hit in Germany and they lived and toured there for 6 months in 2010. When they came back to the States nothing happened.

We shot this episode in 2 days (including montage B-roll). Everything was shot guerilla style, without any permits. Aside from the actors, I was the only person on crew operating camera and sound with the exception of the last scene where my buddy helped do sound for the final moment at the airport. The music video sequences were set up, lit, and filmed in under an hour at FD Photo Studios in Downtown LA because that was how long we could afford to use the space (in all we spent $150 on Episode 1). We know it's flawed, but we'll do better on the next project!
 
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I mean, couldnt you just recut it taking the feedback youve gotten here? We’re not talking a total re-edit from scratch, just moving some things around and adding stuff back in that you cut (sounds like you already have the footage).
 
The version I linked is picture locked. My partners on the project are opposed to taking down that version and reuploading another one since they spent a few weeks promoting it on their social media before we launched it. Next time I'll get the feedback before the final post lol
 
Oh I gotcha. Fair enough. I am used to working basically alone so am not used to having to answer to other people. But yeah not a bad idea to solicit feedback from TRUSTED (i.e. wont blow smoke up your butt) friends/colleagues/whoever with a private version before going public. Hard to be objective about your own stuff, even with a team. Seen it time and time again. Last night, in fact! You guys have emotional involvement in the project and (hopefully) great affection for everyone involved so you find things funny that a stranger might not and see things and take things for granted that people who don’t know you guys personally wouldn’t. I think you get better at it the more you do it but I myself am still usually humbled by reactions when things I do go public.
 
I didn't get that whole "biggest American posters in Romania", but mainly because nothing looked Romanian, hence I doubted everything.
For non-Europeans who haven't been to Europe not a problem though I guess.
I'm honestly impressed by the overall quality of your production and wonder if everyone is in it for the fun or how you funded this project?
The difference to let's say a network comedy is there of course, but as with the cameras used, that difference is becoming smaller and smaller.
Good talent, skilled crew, creative location choices a.s.o - this doesn't look too far off from a production probably more expensive by a factor of about a 100.
Also just realised you are behind that Rapper's Delight video, great one too!

PS Since there where some scenes most likely filmed in Berlin: Can you share the name of your friends band that had the hit in Germany? Just curious:)
 
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