I am SO lucky!!!

Brandon Rice

Brandon Rice

Distributed Producer
I just wanted to come announce my happiness on DVXuser! :)

I am so blessed to be married to my best friend! She is always there, and so supportive of everything I do! She is beautiful!!! She knows what I need, whenever I need it!!!

Just a small example... we're in the midst of finding and buying a home... I decided I wanted to focus my energy and effort 100% on that... therefore I put a short film I was going to do on hold... She protested a lot, and said I should still do the short... eventually I made the decision to put it on hold, but her support of my goals and desires was so evident and I won't forget it!

She's AMAZING! :)
 
That's not luck my brother...or at least not entirely. You are a good man who takes his relationship seriously. You treat her with a tremendous amount of respect. That tends to attract a woman who reciprocates.



Besides, she's only in it for your money :beer:
 
Luxuriate in that new car smell brother. You won't really know what your marriage is made of until you've both seen the absolute worst side of each other. And if you're married long enough you will see it. It's not the better that defines a marriage but the worse. Of course you both may be perfect individuals, in which case ignore anything I say.
 
Batutta said:
Luxuriate in that new car smell brother. You won't really know what your marriage is made of until you've both seen the absolute worst side of each other. And if you're married long enough you will see it. It's not the better that defines a marriage but the worse. Of course you both may be perfect individuals, in which case ignore anything I say.
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Hmm. See, I think advice like this, at least in my experience, never ends up being warranted.

Like, at every stage in my life in every single thing that I've done people have always warned me, "Well, when THIS happens, you'll see things differently" or "When THAT occurs you'll experience the this and the that."

Just...never turns out to be accurate. They're all miserable and full of regret and making excuses and hoping that I'll feel exactly like they do in their chest-tightening existences (just generalizing, of course). But I never do. The house burns down, the plane crashes, the sky falls -- I still wake up being me, strolling casually and without urgency through life.

Right now I'm hedging bets that when I finally have a kid I will in no way view the world differently because I have a kid.

The funniest one is when people tell me about their crappy relationships and how they argue and how they're miserable and that I'll understand when -- well, I guess when I'm more like them? All miserable and in a crappy relationship?

I've been with my woman for about 5 years. It's not an eternity, but I can tell you that in five years we've never once had a fight or a heated debate or shared a disagreeable glare or any of the nonsense I see all the people who want to dispense relationship advice to me have going on.

ONE TIME about three years ago I rolled my eyes when she said something in the next room that was just silly. Immediately I went and told her that I'd just rolled my eyes and that I shouldn't have done that and that I was sorry.

Neither one of us ever does anything wrong or upsetting to the other person because we are always being honest and true to ourselves. How could I possibly ever feel anything negative towards someone who is being true to themselves? If I ever did, I'd leave her. Our love that exists outside of ourselves is so much more important than either one of us being happy in a relationship. I would rather be miserable and without her rather than be with her and risk damaging the love between us -- because that's something beyond ourselves, that's going to exist past what we can understand, right?

Of course I also don't agree with the "best friend" thing. I tell my woman more than a little frequently that in no way will I now or ever want to be her friend. I have friends, as does she. What her and I have is not friendship, it's almost the opposite of friendship. You can't release your soul to a friend, even if it's your "bestest" friend. If my girl and I woke up tomorrow and decided to sleep with strangers and no longer be in a relationship, we wouldn't want anything to do with one another -- that's one of the tells that we're in no way friendly. We talk and hang out and share stories, but that's just because we're around each other at night, because we're connected. She is in no way someone I would ever be friends with -- we have nothing in common. But our soul stuff connects things, so we accept whatever personalities and bone structures and eye color we each have so that we can exist in that connection.

Someday we'll be dead and we won't have to deal with this stupid human stuff anymore. Most of what sucks about life and relationships, I think, is people's inability to manage their human selves effectively. I think once you realize that...everything is nothing (?), you don't really need advice anymore. You don't need white lies. You don't need comprimise. Everything just flows perfectly and without fault until one of you dies and the one left behind is sad for a bit and then they die too, love intact.

That's what love and art is -- the act of ignoring your human self.

IMO of course! :D
 
Everything is nothing. For the Void has no beginning and no end. Attaining this principile means not attaining the principle. Deep stuff.

Anyway, congrats on that. Some of us get it right, which is awesome.
 
Brandon you deserve it dude.

Chamber thats an interesting perspective, I dont think anyone's right or wrong. But to echo Butatta a little bit, I think when the chips are down is when you see a person for whom they really are. When the odds are stacked against you or your partner. When you or your partner lose a family member, find out you or they have a disease, face a financial hurdle etc etc (god forbid on all of those). These are things that can happen to anyone.

For me though, I like a bit of grit in my life. IF I never faced a challenge or took a risk in my personal life I would never learn anything. And for that matter same goes for business life, which can greatly impact a partner / wife / husband should you have any of those.
 
Chamber005 said:
Hmm. See, I think advice like this, at least in my experience, never ends up being warranted.

Like, at every stage in my life in every single thing that I've done people have always warned me, "Well, when THIS happens, you'll see things differently" or "When THAT occurs you'll experience the this and the that."

Just...never turns out to be accurate. They're all miserable and full of regret and making excuses and hoping that I'll feel exactly like they do in their chest-tightening existences (just generalizing, of course). But I never do. The house burns down, the plane crashes, the sky falls -- I still wake up being me, strolling casually and without urgency through life.
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As usual, you completely misunderstood what I said, twisting it to your own agenda. Where did I say he'll see things differently, or is in for misery. I was just saying while it's great to enjoy the good times, its how you deal with the bad times that makes a marriage work.
 
Batutta said:
its how you deal with the bad times that makes a marriage work.
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I have to agree. Bad times, arent a product of your own negativity, sometimes they are slung on you without warning - see my previous post for what I mean.
 
Chamber005 said:
Right now I'm hedging bets that when I finally have a kid I will in no way view the world differently because I have a kid.
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Way off topic but I had to touch on this...

Having kids changes your perspective on things, like it or not. Thankfully, mostly for the better. :)

Here's an example of something that just happened the other day. Not one of the 'better' moments though.

At my daughters school a man approached a young girl on school property the other day and tried to entice her to get into his car, twice.
A letter (and phone call) went out to all the parents. I had to to explain to my 6 year old daughter why she should not trust strangers.
Yes, we've had this conversation before but never to the depth that we did today.

If that doesn't change how you view the world... nothing will.

And no, I'm not talking about the fact that there's predators out there. I knew that.
It's the fact that my daughter has now lost some of her innocence, part of what makes a child a child.
She will never be the same. I saw it happen in her eyes as the conversation unfolded.

Sad.

Ask anyone who has children. Nothing else matters when it comes to your child and you will do anything for them.
If that doesn't change things then I don't know what does?

Back on topic!!

Finding the right woman is one of the best feelings in the world. :)
Fifteen years this summer for me and I've never been happier.

MAH
 
Michael Anthony Horrigan said:
Finding the right woman is one of the best feelings in the world. :)
Fifteen years this summer for me and I've never been happier.

MAH
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Same here, 15 years in September...Again, just want to reiterate I'm not trying to bring Brandon down. He's got a lot to look forward to. My marriage is long past having the new car smell. But in its place is a bond deeper than I ever thought possible, the kind of bond that can only come with time and shared experience, and no, not all of it good. But like war buddies we've face life's difficulties and came out better, stronger people because of it. She is without a doubt my best friend...actually more than that, as we know each other more intimately than a mere friend could ever know.
 
Batutta said:
Same here, 15 years in September...Again, just want to reiterate I'm not trying to bring Brandon down. He's got a lot to look forward to. My marriage is long past having the new car smell. But in its place is a bond deeper than I ever thought possible, the kind of bond that can only come with time and shared experience, and no, not all of it good. But like war buddies we've face life's difficulties and came out better, stronger people because of it. She is without a doubt my best friend...actually more than that, as we know each other more intimately than a mere friend could ever know.
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I didn't think you were trying to bring him down, just offering some experienced advice. A bit of a buzzkill though. :tongue:

And all the talk about not even having disagreements and such.... please.
I grew up in a big family and some of the siblings I fought/argued with the most I am now closest to.
It doesn't mean that you don't love someone just because you don't always see eye to eye.

If I wanted that kind of relationship I would have stuck with my mirror. :)

MAH
 
Brandon Rice said:
Just a small example... we're in the midst of finding and buying a home... I decided I wanted to focus my energy and effort 100% on that... therefore I put a short film I was going to do on hold... She protested a lot, and said I should still do the short... eventually I made the decision to put it on hold, but her support of my goals and desires was so evident and I won't forget it!

She's AMAZING! :)
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That's awesome, Brandon. Support is key.

Good luck with the house hunting.

MAH
 
I think your instincts are good. We're in the offer-tendering stage and there's enough to keep track of, on top of the usual day-to-day stuff that the process deserves as much of your attention as you can give it. It's fortunate that you have come to be on the same page.
 
Chamber005 said:
Of course I also don't agree with the "best friend" thing. I tell my woman more than a little frequently that in no way will I now or ever want to be her friend. I have friends, as does she. What her and I have is not friendship, it's almost the opposite of friendship. You can't release your soul to a friend, even if it's your "bestest" friend. If my girl and I woke up tomorrow and decided to sleep with strangers and no longer be in a relationship, we wouldn't want anything to do with one another -- that's one of the tells that we're in no way friendly. We talk and hang out and share stories, but that's just because we're around each other at night, because we're connected. She is in no way someone I would ever be friends with -- we have nothing in common. But our soul stuff connects things, so we accept whatever personalities and bone structures and eye color we each have so that we can exist in that connection.
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All I can say about this is that you are missing out on the very, very best in life, whether you know it or not. But that's your own deal.


That's what love and art is -- the act of ignoring your human self.
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This is 100% exactly backwards.
 
She is in no way someone I would ever be friends with -- we have nothing in common.
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Isn't life something you have in common? A life together? That, to me, is the most important thing anyway...
 
Life isn't easy... people are people, and we're all SOOO selfish, even if we don't think we are...

The times that are the best is when we are both trying to only think of the other person... then we don't have to worry about "ours"... it's freeing and amazing :)
 
Somehow it seems to me that by the time you're describing your mate as "my woman" you're already far enough into a certain sort of mindset that it's a dead discussion, anyway.
 
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