hybridtheory and x_pac_84 - "DEAD INSIDE"

you are in luck jp, im cutting the longer version right now, really appreciate the comments!

second shaky shot? you mean them running down the stairs?
 
Great job on the blood and fx here man. The acting was tolerable, but not the best. I liked some of the compositions, but definately the standout here was great blood blasting! Good job.

Tim.
 
HOLY CRAP! I can't believe I am just now seeing this.
GOOD
GOOD
GOOD
SOLID
SOLID
SOLID
ENTERTAINING!
This is the only one that LITERALLY had me on the edge of my seat.
Why? Because you introduced characters that were likeable and then did some really bangup spot on suspense horror editing.

I gasped not once but twice when ...

SPOILER ALERT
The flashlight gets that glimpse of the open door and then again when it gets that first glimpse of the zombie after the door is shown as breached.

And I mean actually gasped. "Oh shi*!" was my inner monologue right then.

I could totally feel what it would be like to be in that situation and have that "Oh shi*" feeling when you see the door open.

Some brilliant editing to like the opening and the nailing the zombies in the tupperware and again the whole in the dark basement sequence - that was just very tight and effective.

A few cuts could have been tightened up a tad. Something about the transition from dropping the box to the basement was muddy. I think we see a shadow move on the box and that felt like a half choice to me. Either the zombie's foot needs to smashes into the frame in that low angle or you need to cut way before they are even out of the frame as they run off. Especially since you have that stairwell side shot of them. Since you aren't going to reshoot I would suggest that you make the zombie's advancement felt in the sound design, with further damage to the window frame, grunts, or sound of him climbing through the window. As it is now that cut slows down the sequence right when you are building momentum. Try the cut between 01:13:24 and 01:14:04.

And we have to talk about why in the world your movie is not 23.98 sillyboy! For WEB, DVD, or blow up to film there is but one choice: 23.98.

Also loved loved the dolly work over the back of the couch down the hall.
Very fluid, very pro, moved the story along, and was aesthetically pleasing.
One ding on the dolly, and this isn't a good thing bad thing criticism technique - I really just totally dug the hallway and couch shot, but the ding is that I don't think that in the kitchen, the sideways dolly move away from the two of them and to the left of screen favoring her and then back to him was motivated. Almost looked like a mistake. Was ist supposed to be motivated by a sound outside the window? If so it seems like a half choice - sound didn't read loud enough and it would need to move off both of them and favor the window. Here I felt you did a poor job of directing our eye when the rest of the time you did it so well. Cut around that right to left strafe if you can. Otherwise its not a huge deal.

What else ... the girl was uber cute :love4: ... swoon.

and ... oh ... really appreciated the detail and time you spent on all the squibs etc. and whether the muzzle flashes were real or done in post they looked great.

Great job my friend.
:beer::beer::beer::beer::beer::beer::beer:

Now put some friggin quotes in your signature. I don't care why you haven't yet just do it! I want more people to see this film today and tomorrow!!!!
 
I just did my score card for you.
You placed in my top three so far (a little more than halfway through them all)
Shoulda known it.

EDIT: I just checked and you are getting way too few views per day on your thread.
Only possible reaon, people don't know about your flick, so I added it to my signature.
 
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holy **** jack, you just made my day. wow.

thanks for all the comments. I'm going to have to sit and think for a while before i properly respond. And thanks for the new banner. :)
 
Jack Daniel Stanley said:
This is the only one that LITERALLY had me on the edge of my seat.
Click to expand...

that is awesome.

Why? Because you introduced characters that were likeable and then did some really bangup spot on suspense horror editing.
Click to expand...

thanks, we rewrote this beast many times to get some realistic characters, and I always love compliments on my editing.

A few cuts could have been tightened up a tad. Something about the transition from dropping the box to the basement was muddy. I think we see a shadow move on the box and that felt like a half choice to me. Either the zombie's foot needs to smashes into the frame in that low angle or you need to cut way before they are even out of the frame as they run off. Especially since you have that stairwell side shot of them. Since you aren't going to reshoot I would suggest that you make the zombie's advancement felt in the sound design, with further damage to the window frame, grunts, or sound of him climbing through the window. As it is now that cut slows down the sequence right when you are building momentum. Try the cut between 01:13:24 and 01:14:04.
Click to expand...

maybe i'll have your buddy mark throw some glass shards in there. But I totally agree, the feeling on set was "wouldn't it be creepy to have the zombie shadow move across the box? YEAH!" now it's like "why the hell didn't we have a bloody gross foot move into the frame?" that darn hindsight.

And we have to talk about why in the world your movie is not 23.98 sillyboy! For WEB, DVD, or blow up to film there is but one choice: 23.98.
Click to expand...

i distinctly remember a mod post in the FCP forum that say to always digitize 24pa to 29.97. I shot in 24pa! I swear!

One ding on the dolly, and this isn't a good thing bad thing criticism technique - I really just totally dug the hallway and couch shot, but the ding is that I don't think that in the kitchen, the sideways dolly move away from the two of them and to the left of screen favoring her and then back to him was motivated. Almost looked like a mistake. Was ist supposed to be motivated by a sound outside the window? If so it seems like a half choice - sound didn't read loud enough and it would need to move off both of them and favor the window. Here I felt you did a poor job of directing our eye when the rest of the time you did it so well. Cut around that right to left strafe if you can. Otherwise its not a huge deal.
Click to expand...

noted, will make sound effect more noticeable.

What else ... the girl was uber cute :love4: ... swoon.
Click to expand...

yeah, she's a keeper. Anyone remember this one? see the resemblance?
1160661187.jpg
1160661166.jpg


That's right, I photoshopped a formal picture of us for the poster, i know, im sick. She was great to work with, but i think in the future i'll refrain from using her as an actress, we may not be together anymore if she has to go through that again. lol.

and ... oh ... really appreciated the detail and time you spent on all the squibs etc. and whether the muzzle flashes were real or done in post they looked great.Great job my friend.
:beer:
Click to expand...

They were real! I'd drink, but it's a little early, ah shoot, what the heck :beer:

Now put some friggin quotes in your signature. I don't care why you haven't yet just do it! I want more people to see this film today and tomorrow!!!!
Click to expand...

Yes sir!
 
This won't score high on the originality chart, I thought I was watching night of the living dead: the short.
But it was entertaining and done pretty okay, so it's forgivable :)

I will try and do a real review within 2 weeks.
 
theAlchemist said:
This won't score high on the originality chart, I thought I was watching night of the living dead: the short.
Click to expand...

As long as it's not the night of the living dead remake, ugh, that film was bad.
 
Thanks for the great review of our short, "Sneak". I thought I would check your film out. As I am not a filmmaker, I don't have much to say about the technical stuff. That is, except that it looked and sounded great. I didn't have to strain to hear or see any of it. As for the story, I didn't have to strain to follow it either. The score sounded just like a Hollywood movie. The timpani (sp) roll was killer!
 
I love zombie movies. the ones i love most, though, are the ones you add a new spin to basic idea.

Unfortunately, this didn't really offer anything new - the characters were pretty common and the situation was extremely common. we've all seen this before in feature films with large budgets, so when you don't add anything new you're basically forcing your film to compete with large budget films directly and that's a competition that's extremely hard to win.

I think the writing could use a little work- pretty much everything the characters said was exposition - it's hard to avoid in a short, but something to think about. in the future try to ease the exposition in there.

Also, because the acting was pretty bad it just made the writing seem worse.
Those actors need to work on delivering lines more naturally, but again when the writing's not great it's a hard thing to do. I think the actors do have talent because when they weren't speaking they were very believable.

There were a lot of positives about this film though. Some of the camera works were great. I liked the dolly shots and such. The sound design was also good. I also thought the flashlight shots were a good way of bringing the audience into the world of the characters.

My favorite part was when you made the audience think the guy was going to shoot the girl. It's been done many times before, but it's always cool.

Anyways, good luck on your next project.
 
hybridtheory said:
...." now it's like "why the hell didn't we have a bloody gross foot move into the frame?" that darn hindsight
Click to expand...
just to be clear - its not that a gross foot woul be cooler than the efffect you were going for but that the effect you were going for doesn't read, so I'd just cut and keep things moving as it slows thinngs down. I think you effect you describe sounds neato, but needs to be more visible, favored by the camera and perhaps reinforced in the score or sound design with a scary lick. Even then it might not be right as the shadow across the wall is a suspense trick when you've just transitioned from suspense tricks to a chase and it hinders the chase.

hybridtheory said:
i distinctly remember a mod post in the FCP forum that say to always digitize 24pa to 29.97. I shot in 24pa! I swear!
Click to expand...

Unless you are going to TAPE, 23.98 rules.
1 obviously for film blow up you want 23.98
2 for DVD ... well you can burn and correctly display on any tv a 24fps DVD ... why not have it play excatly like film rather than telecined film.
3 for BOTH DVD AND WEVB 23.98 increases your quality to file size ratio slightly and again is exactly like film.

I bet if you burned a 23.98 DVD and QT movie and 29.97 DVD abd QT movie from a 23.98 timeline only Barry Green could tell the difference if you mixed them up and did a pepsi challenge, so why not get the exatr badnwidth and keep it just like film cadence -- improves general picture quality a smidge and incase some studio approaches you raving about your film and wants to do a blow up you are all set.





noted, will make sound effect more noticeable.



yeah, she's a keeper. Anyone remember this one? see the resemblance?
1160661187.jpg
1160661166.jpg


That's right, I photoshopped a formal picture of us for the poster, i know, im sick. She was great to work with, but i think in the future i'll refrain from using her as an actress, we may not be together anymore if she has to go through that again. lol.



They were real! I'd drink, but it's a little early, ah shoot, what the heck :beer:



Yes sir![/quote]
 
jack, ill have to pm you so you can school me on the ways of 23.98.

bman, thanks again bro.

gwmesler, i have to say, I did it for the prize but it was kinda fun going into your film in depth. thanks for coming over and watching our little film.

I think the writing could use a little work- pretty much everything the characters said was exposition - it's hard to avoid in a short, but something to think about. in the future try to ease the exposition in there.

Also, because the acting was pretty bad it just made the writing seem worse.
Those actors need to work on delivering lines more naturally, but again when the writing's not great it's a hard thing to do. I think the actors do have talent because when they weren't speaking they were very believable.
Click to expand...

luster, thanks for the notes on the positives. As for the acting, I'm sorry that you thought it was bad, but I'd really like to know what lines you thought were too expositionary, perhaps i can work around them. Most of the time I set it up so that Mitch is always having to explain things to Madison (sometimes falsely), and I don't really consider that an "info-dump", like normal exposition. But thanks again for the review, this helps alot.
 
hybridtheory, thanks for the film! Great Zombie flick!!!

Congratulations and good luck! I hope to see the extended version sometime.

This has been a blast!

Ted
 
Thanks Alot Ted, I must say your enthusiam for horrorfest and life is infectious. Now ... go pay attention to your wife on your anniversary.
 
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