how we party

Gotta be honest. The pacing was very slow, and the audio was distractingly bad. Lots of hiss. And the dialog/on-cam sound would cut in and out of the right channel even though music beds were still in both channels. Are you using the on-camera mic for sound?

The handheld camera in the opening party scene was shaky, and shots would hang too long on the booze. I think the two off-cam lines that were cut into the conversation as the guys were leaving the party just killed that conversation and made it last too long (very awkward pause after he asked the guys how they party... like they were waiting for the line about the key bowl). Those lines would have been better served in the earlier party montage.

The lock-down shot as the guys stood up off the couch... why was the camera locked? The framing was awkward before they stood up... and after. Some camera movement to follow that action would have helped... or better, a cut to a wider shot.

The basement scene also went on much longer than it could have. You have a good concept here. but it just moves too slowly.
 
you dont ever want to show something any longer than is absolutely necessary to get your point across....

In the case of the two dudes going back home and drinking privately...your audience will "Get it" after about fifteen seconds...after that, they will grow weary and lose interest...unless there is plot, or story, to move it along. But just two dudes rebelling against the herd and drinking alone, this is very easy to understand.

Same goes for your party scene. Cut it down. Your audience will get it, they've been to parties, they understand from experience that groups of young people + music = alcohol....no need to close up on bottles etc.

try editing it again with these two tips in mind. You'll thank me, and your audience will thank you

Good luck
 
cool thanks you guys! the party was really supposed to be very bad camera work anyway but I understand what you guys are saying by cutting it down some more. The reason the camera was locked down was because i have a cheap tripod with no fluid head, and that was as far back as i could go, (just purchased a Libec tripod the other day, wish i had it sooner, worth every penny for the fluid head). And the hiss, on the second part was totally my fault, I was trying to make the song sound like it was coming from a cheap tape player(using tape sim in Vegas) and I forget to lower the volume until it got to that part. thanks for all the advice! Back to the dungeon I go.
 
C2V said:
Gotta be honest. The pacing was very slow, and the audio was distractingly bad. Lots of hiss. And the dialog/on-cam sound would cut in and out of the right channel even though music beds were still in both channels. Are you using the on-camera mic for sound?

The handheld camera in the opening party scene was shaky, and shots would hang too long on the booze. I think the two off-cam lines that were cut into the conversation as the guys were leaving the party just killed that conversation and made it last too long (very awkward pause after he asked the guys how they party... like they were waiting for the line about the key bowl). Those lines would have been better served in the earlier party montage.

The lock-down shot as the guys stood up off the couch... why was the camera locked? The framing was awkward before they stood up... and after. Some camera movement to follow that action would have helped... or better, a cut to a wider shot.

The basement scene also went on much longer than it could have. You have a good concept here. but it just moves too slowly.
Click to expand...

literally everyting he said i was about to say (probly not as well though)
 
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