Highschool Semester Final

L

Loren Simons

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I would really appreciate some feedback on this film, i know I did a lot of things wrong as per light, but not really sure how i could do better. I had to shoot and make it look like there are no lights on, but of course needed enough light to see the basic information. Also, it was down a long straight hallway so light placement was tricky. Any comments would be greatly appreciated.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ez9M8ZpB7wg
 
tried to embed, it didn't wanna work or maybe i did it wrong.
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I AGREE
 
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I think it looks really nice for a high school project. Your shot composition was great and your graphic work was pretty slick. And, I dig the lighting for the most part (a little dark at points...but that could just be my computer monitor). Camera movements also looked really good. You've got a great eye!

To be honest, I think the story was a little weak. I mean, it felt a tad cliché. Very after school special-ish.

And, this is very a minor quibble, but whenever I hear "familiar" songs in a short movie, I can't help but think of the original source material. I think the Friday Night Lights soundtrack is fantastic, but I would have preferred to have heard something a little more obsucre (or original) for your soundtrack. For instance, whenever I hear the "Requiem For A Dream" soundtrack used in a short film I want to cringe.
 
ikander said:
I think it looks really nice for a high school project. Your shot composition was great and your graphic work was pretty slick. And, I dig the lighting for the most part (a little dark at points...but that could just be my computer monitor). Camera movements also looked really good. You've got a great eye!

To be honest, I think the story was a little weak. I mean, it felt a tad cliché. Very after school special-ish.

And, this is very a minor quibble, but whenever I hear "familiar" songs in a short movie, I can't help but think of the original source material. I think the Friday Night Lights soundtrack is fantastic, but I would have preferred to have heard something a little more obsucre (or original) for your soundtrack. For instance, whenever I hear the "Requiem For A Dream" soundtrack used in a short film I want to cringe.
Click to expand...


Thanks! there were some pretty dark parts so your monitor is just fine;)
My first inclination was yes to have one of my friends compose a soundtrack, but the shoot took us far longer than i figured, and we already got an extension. I decided i wanted to do this right so i borrowed an arri kit and jib from work and i wasn't aware how much more time that would really add to production. It was a good experience and i just shot another short with the lights and it looked much better so I take this as a learning experience.
As for the story, didn't write it, I just do my best to take the writers story and make it pretty and read on screen=) thanks for the feedback!
 
I enjoyed it, nice shot composition and I did really enjoy the lighting. It's nice to see people who actually use one of the most important things in filmmaking: Lights.

I do agree that the story was a bit weak at times, I was a little tired of what was happening.

Was great, especially for high school.
 
I liked this, but you have some things to work out.

What was this shot on?

Your outside shots were beautiful, really well done. What lenses? Particularly the cigg, outside when he walks in, and the dad handing him the keys.

Camera work was also very good, you had some nice movement here and there, and it really added a lot IMO.

The inside shots were way too dark as you already know. The ones where you at least put a red or blue tint on him were better, and those werent so bad, but hte ones without were a struggle and an eyesore.

The flashback sequences, had WAY to much grain added, it was almost to an obnoxious level, at first there were so many artifacts that i though you were trying to do some fake leaves flying around or something, i would tone that down a lot.

I was a little confused about the story, and what was going on at the ending.

I couldnt figure out who was gone?

Keep it up, hope to see more. Im amazed you have achieved this being so young, definetly keep at it.
 
jonE5 said:
I liked this, but you have some things to work out.

What was this shot on?

Your outside shots were beautiful, really well done. What lenses? Particularly the cigg, outside when he walks in, and the dad handing him the keys.

Camera work was also very good, you had some nice movement here and there, and it really added a lot IMO.

The inside shots were way too dark as you already know. The ones where you at least put a red or blue tint on him were better, and those werent so bad, but hte ones without were a struggle and an eyesore.

The flashback sequences, had WAY to much grain added, it was almost to an obnoxious level, at first there were so many artifacts that i though you were trying to do some fake leaves flying around or something, i would tone that down a lot.

I was a little confused about the story, and what was going on at the ending.

I couldnt figure out who was gone?

Keep it up, hope to see more. Im amazed you have achieved this being so young, definetly keep at it.
Click to expand...

Hey thanks, it was shot on a Canon XH A1 with a Redrock M2e and FD glass. The cig shot was actually just the achromat from the redrock, i use that a lot as it gives really nice macro shots. The dad handing him the keys was a 35mm i believe, all FD glass.

I did like the artifacts for the grain, I probably could have turned it down a little, but it was actually below what it was default set to, i just got a couple comments that people had some trouble realizing they were flashbacks, so i wanted to make it evident.
Story: Basically, kid's mom dies, you can see he's kinda already rebelling from the cig shot, and he sees via the flashforwards (colored shots) what he can make his life, and the two different paths he can choose. I didn't write it, I liked it when the kid pitched it, but i did also get some comments that it didn't read on film so well.

Thanks again for the comments, i do appreciate it!:cheesy:
 
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