Heinz Commercial

WhiteWood

WhiteWood

Carbonite Member
Hello. Allow me to introduce my new commercial for Heinz Ketchup! This, of course, is way longer than your average commercial. It's my 2 minute version. I made this version JUST for you guys because I didn't feel that the 30 seconds that they asked for put to good use all of the great shots we got that day.

Anywho, I DO have a 30 second version of this commercial, But I haven't submitted it yet, I won't submit it to them until I get feedback from YOU GUYS on what you think about this version, so that I can then take that, and hit the editing boards and make the changes.

I'm sorry, but I'm only uploading the draft version to FaceBook, so if you don't have FB, you prolly won't be able to view it. Now go ahead, rip me a new one!

Written and Directed by Tommie Green

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=21026204264&ref=nf
 
First, I'd highly recommend finding a tutorial for your NLE to find out how to format aspect correctly. You do that in a lot of your posts; you squish it into 16:9 and its really distracting.

at 1:00, there's a shot of the doctor for some reason. can't tell why.

at 1:13 he says he loves it. Aside from bad delivery, you might want to consider showing and not telling me blatantly what he thinks.

the 'bad flash cartoon punch' soundeffect on the heel click doesn't fit. go for a click sound.

It's 1875 and your lab assistant is wearing Adidas.

the sequence of jars at the start should be tightened up to keep pacing.

That's all off my first view. Good premise, though.
 
I agree with Hans the aspect ratio problem it is distracting. Compared to everything else you did its a simple error. You did all the hard parts, shooting editing etc. Look into it for your NLE

For me this was a bit of style over substance. Story was anticlimactic. BUT I think you show some good insticts in the cinematography. I like the ECUs and some of the camera height was wrong but at least you did not shoot it all too safe.

Just a bit of hopefully constructive criticism from MHO. This is a good effort.

Also I have not seen the :30 second version but I bet I would like it better. A real sign of maturity in a film maker is the ability to leave great takes and shots on the floor when they don't add to the story.

For me you had two minutes of footage that would have been better in :30 second...I know this is the Directors Cut to show off the footage, just keep in mind that "good shot" is not always a good enough reason to make it into the edit.


Keep working...I think you will do well.
 
Hans Moleman said:
First, I'd highly recommend finding a tutorial for your NLE to find out how to format aspect correctly. You do that in a lot of your posts; you squish it into 16:9 and its really distracting.

at 1:00, there's a shot of the doctor for some reason. can't tell why.

at 1:13 he says he loves it. Aside from bad delivery, you might want to consider showing and not telling me blatantly what he thinks.

the 'bad flash cartoon punch' soundeffect on the heel click doesn't fit. go for a click sound.

It's 1875 and your lab assistant is wearing Adidas.

the sequence of jars at the start should be tightened up to keep pacing.

That's all off my first view. Good premise, though.
Click to expand...


WOW, Thanx ALOT! I don't know how to do the long 16:9 that I'd like to do without squishing it. The DVX's "WidesScreen" isn't wide at ALL to me. If you have any tips or tutorials on how to do it properly, I'd love to find out.

The Doctor is Dr.Heinz, he's onlooking the experiment.

I KNOW he delivered it bad! Actually, that lab was VERY echoey so I had them do all of their dialouge again the next day. He said it PERFECTLY the first time. I'll have him do it again.

I actually debated the punch on the heel click myself! I'm changing it to a tap as we speak...er, type. (That cut didn't make the 30 second version though)

Though she IS wearing tennis shoes, they aren't addidas (They're Pumas. LoL), but even if they were, it's all good cause that cut didn't make the 30 second version anyway.

Cutting the scrolling jars. (Even though it didn't make the 30 second version)
 
jason.adams said:
I agree with Hans the aspect ratio problem it is distracting. Compared to everything else you did its a simple error. You did all the hard parts, shooting editing etc. Look into it for your NLE

For me this was a bit of style over substance. Story was anticlimactic. BUT I think you show some good insticts in the cinematography. I like the ECUs and some of the camera height was wrong but at least you did not shoot it all too safe.

Just a bit of hopefully constructive criticism from MHO. This is a good effort.

Also I have not seen the :30 second version but I bet I would like it better. A real sign of maturity in a film maker is the ability to leave great takes and shots on the floor when they don't add to the story.

For me you had two minutes of footage that would have been better in :30 second...I know this is the Directors Cut to show off the footage, just keep in mind that "good shot" is not always a good enough reason to make it into the edit.


Keep working...I think you will do well.
Click to expand...

Thank you very much for your creative yet opptimistic critique. The 30 second version feels quite rushed to me, but I may post it here b4 I post the final version.
 
Yeah, I know it's a ratio, but how do u achieve it properly on the DVX? Only way I know is to shoot everything in the MIDDLE of the frame and then when u get into the editor, put black bars on the top and bottom with a matte.
 
Well, if you shot in SQUEEZE, you'd set your Non-Linear Editor (FCP, Vegas, MovieMaker, Premier) to a 16:9 project. If you shot LETTERBOX, then you're in a 4:3 project. I always used SQUEEZE with the DVX.

If you edit in the proper aspect ratio, your characters won't be stretched out in the rendered version.

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