GH13 Narrative Short

Oetam

Oetam

Active member
Hey everyone,

This is a short film I did a while ago.
Please check it out and tell me what you think either here or over at Vimeo.
I could really use some constructive criticism.

Feel free to ask any questions .

 
Cinematography was fantastic. I really like the look you achieved with this film; one of the few that don't readily look like it was from a GH1, you know what i mean? Would you mind discussing picture settings, lenses, and color correction methods that went into the look?

Fantastic work.
 
Thanks a lot!

A lot was done with the kit lens, one shot with the Canon FD 24mm f/2.8, two shots in the nighttime with the 20mm f/1.7 Pancake and nearly all close ups with the FD 50mm f/1.4. I softened a lot of kit lens shots in post because it was just too sharp compared to the other glass.

I used the Nostalgic film mode which gives a pretty flat image.
Then graded with curves in After Effects. I went for the typical bockbuster grade (highs orange and lows blue), added contrast and tried to still keep it natural-looking. Hope this helps.

Thanks again!
 
As edsonkwushu said, you've achieved an excellent image. Really looks nice.

Your title tells me what to expect: this is going to be a movie about a bike. But the bike's story is muddled as you introduce other elements of secondary importance. You've got a dynamic plot: the bike get's bought, stolen, sold, busted, and repaired. De-prioritizing continuity and thinking about your editing options for streamlining the film around the bike will maximize the emotional power of this story.

I absolutely love the shots from the bike frame - you show me the world through the bikes eyes. I know exactly where I am as the bike rolls out of the door. Do you really need the first two shots? More than anything, they suggested to me this was the story about a girl buying a bike.

Again, the bike-mounted shots have a lot of energy - I feel like I'm on the bike, too. I love the close ups on the people riding - you show me their expressions and I feel like I know them. I then feel suddenly detached from both rider and bike when I'm brought to an extremely long shot scale. I would recommend experimenting which street traffic and pedestrian wide shots could be omitted. Avoid repetition with these shots as well.

The first time the bike changes hands, you hold a static composition as the thief crosses the street to take the bike. Consider the effect of cutting from the beer bottle to the mobile bike frame shot.

I found the shot of the onlooking stranger after the bike theft jarring. It holds long enough that it interrupts the action of the bike robbery and I find myself wondering who this new character is and what he's about to do. Because he doesn't return until the very end, I recommend you cut this shot down - he will be recognized later all the same.

The car crash is a fantastic moment - you show me the hood of the car and then cut to the wheel and then to the broken frame. This is a direct and powerful sequence. I'm wondering what the following scene adds to the story of this bike. How important is it that its original owner gets her money back? How could the sadness and heart-break of the broken bike shot be extended or heightened?

As for the time lapse shots, while they are breathtaking, I find they take me away from the bike's world. I might have used time lapse for the shot of the broken bike on the ground, after the crash. With a wider lens and careful framing, a couple seconds would have covered the whole post-crash scene, while fast-forwarding to the last vignette.

Keep it up! As a GH1 owner myself, it's always exciting to see what this little camera can do.
 
Ah thanks for the breakdown. It's definitely a blockbuster look for a reason! Haha, it looks great. I've heard alot about people shooting it flat and then adjusting later in post, but that usually just ends up looking like what the GH-1 would spit out anyway. You really did do a good job of keeping it natural. Definitely agree about the sharpness of the kit lens. Great stuff!

Ed
 
Thanks a lot, really appreciate it that you took the time to give me such an elaborate review.

I very much agree on the stuff you mentioned, it could have been a lot more powerful if it was the bike's POV only.
Also, not making the crash a bit more dramatic and sad is the thing I most regret, I'm not sure how I could achieve a better effect in editing though.

Most of the shots were improvised as we went and the story kept changing even after we had shot some stuff, so pretty bad planning from my part.

I hope I can improve my filmmaking skills, I'm currently working on a new project which will be completely different from this.
I have a script and it's O.K. (I'm not a good writer at all) but I was looking for some people to test-read it and give me some advice.

Let me know if you are interested.
 
It is a great idea. I actually thought you meant- cut to a shot of the bike against the tree. But now I get it. I still don't think I can pull it off because the pacing of the soundtrack would be completely off. I'll give it a shot.
 
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