General Feedback

Chris_Keaton

Chris_Keaton

ScriptFEST Mod
Here are some things I've noticed in a few screenplays.

* Too much detail and excessive prose. Some of these could be shorter and tighter if it weren't for this. If your action blocks are 5 lines or more then there is a good chance that it's crammed with to much crap or it needs to be two blocks. Think of an action blocks like a snapshot of what the camera is seeing. If you are focusing on two different character's actions then this should be two blocks, unless you intend for them both to be in the scene at the same time. Oh, and you aren't writing a novel so only write what you can see and do that in as little words as possible.

* Keep your action active. Lose 'IS', 'BEGINS', 'STARTS', and most words ending in 'ING'. Mind your tense, everything is a film is happening now. This keeps your writing interesting and compelling. We can't see someone start something, but we sure can see them DO something.

* Lose adverbs. They are rarely helpful and most of the times not even needed. If they are needed rewrite until they aren't.

* I know a lot of you may be thinking of filming your screenplays which are great, but keep all the camera direction and stuff out until you write the shooting script. This is a distraction from your story and you have to sell your story first.

* Formatting guidelines can be found in any book or self-help site, so I won't bother with that. There were, I think, a couple screenplays that cheated their margins to fit in ten pages, but if the writer would have headed some of the advice above this wouldn't be necessary. And frankly I find if I have to trim my pieces down within a certain time limit I usually end up with a better product.

That's all for now. Anyone have any more general feedback?
 
Some western feedback. I know some of you have done this. When did cowboys duel? I always thought they were quick draw contests, not Victorian era duels? I could be wrong, because westerns aren't my bag.
 
it's almost completely a thing of lore. they mostly just shot each other in the back.

:laugh:
 
I have one thing that really bugs me, and turns me off to these script-fests as a "reader of all scripts". Some people might not like me for saying this, but-

BEGIN RANT-

If you write your screenplay the night before the deadline, or you're on the 1st or 2nd draft, you are WASTING peoples valuable time here. I have read quite a few scripts that contain multiple typos and mistakes, and are obviously a rough draft.
First off, once I see a typo, it reads as completely amateur from then on. There is no excuse, in my book, for such mistakes. If you can't even take the time to properly proof-read your script, why should I read it?!!?
Secondly, it's a disservice to the writers who take the time to deliver their best effort and need the feedback, and for them to be in amongst the other muck posing as something good is a hinderance.

I realize, being a procrastinator myself, that sometimes it takes an imminent deadline to motivate any actions, so if you DO submit a rough draft, please state it so on the title page, so people will know the status of your script. You'll still get feedback from the people that do have time to critique your draft, and not waste the time of others that don't.

I think it would be nice if this were stated in the rules for the next one.

What is a rough draft? Hard to say.
I personally consider any draft below # 5-6 to be rough, and usually end up calling my scripts locked at drafts 8-10+. Unless you are Aaron Sorkinn, I think you're kidding yourself if you have a final draft on your 2nd or 3rd attempt. ( I bet Aaron rewrites even more than 10)

What I'm calling "re-writing" is not just dotting some I's and crossing T's or running spell-check either, it's when you evolve the script to a better place, cut out unnecessary dialog and description, clarify what is left in order to improve the story. By the time you are done, you would hardly recognize that the 9th draft evolved from the 1st.*

*This is my personal opinion, and my experience so far. I don't claim to be any kind of writing guru or master, so your results may vary.

END RANT.
 
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I think Chris mentioned the most obvious technical points!

Regarding typos - early drafts being a waste of peoples time - i can kinda see that view point - but a lot of people may have this semblance of error simply because there new, or because the spell checker doesnt work (im terrible for typos!)

A lot of people also join in just because its fun - the festival has a kind of cute online carnival like atmosphere - though overall its a forum for serious discussion and feedback too.

The only scripts i really struggled to get through were those that formatted incorrectly in conversion etc.
 
lawriejaffa said:
I think Chris mentioned the most obvious technical points!

Regarding typos - early drafts being a waste of peoples time - i can kinda see that view point - but a lot of people may have this semblance of error simply because there new, or because the spell checker doesnt work (im terrible for typos!)
Click to expand...
you dont say... :)

Typos are just a little red flag to me that they could've put more time into it. It doesn't necessarily mean it's a bad script. I did see a couple GOOD scripts with one or two typos. (yours, for example, I think) I will certainly overlook typos for great writing.

lawriejaffa said:
A lot of people also join in just because its fun - the festival has a kind of cute online carnival like atmosphere - though overall its a forum for serious discussion and feedback too.
Click to expand...


It's not fun when I'm reading something that is painful to trudge through and I have a hard time coming up with any positive comment about it. :furious3:

EDIT- Ha ha Callaghan. you beat me to it.
 
yeehaanow said:
I have one thing that really bugs me, and turns me off to these script-fests as a "reader of all scripts". Some people might not like me for saying this, but-

BEGIN RANT-

If you write your screenplay the night before the deadline, or you're on the 1st or 2nd draft, you are WASTING peoples valuable time here. I have read quite a few scripts that contain multiple typos and mistakes, and are obviously a rough draft.
First off, once I see a typo, it reads as completely amateur from then on. There is no excuse, in my book, for such mistakes. If you can't even take the time to properly proof-read your script, why should I read it?!!?
Secondly, it's a disservice to the writers who take the time to deliver their best effort and need the feedback, and for them to be in amongst the other muck posing as something good is a hinderance.

I realize, being a procrastinator myself, that sometimes it takes an imminent deadline to motivate any actions, so if you DO submit a rough draft, please state it so on the title page, so people will know the status of your script. You'll still get feedback from the people that do have time to critique your draft, and not waste the time of others that don't.

I think it would be nice if this were stated in the rules for the next one.

What is a rough draft? Hard to say.
I personally consider any draft below # 5-6 to be rough, and usually end up calling my scripts locked at drafts 8-10+. Unless you are Aaron Sorkinn, I think you're kidding yourself if you have a final draft on your 2nd or 3rd attempt. ( I bet Aaron rewrites even more than 10)

What I'm calling "re-writing" is not just dotting some I's and crossing T's or running spell-check either, it's when you evolve the script to a better place, cut out unnecessary dialog and description, clarify what is left in order to improve the story. By the time you are done, you would hardly recognize that the 9th draft evolved from the 1st.*

*This is my personal opinion, and my experience so far. I don't claim to be any kind of writing guru or master, so your results may vary.

END RANT.
Click to expand...


While I did REWRITE mine the last night before the contest, due to a horrible ****-chance of luck and a bad motherboard...I did proof the hell out of it. Does that mean that I closed it and opened it over and over and called it a X numbered draft? No.

I rewrote it almost word for word from memory because I've got it like that. From there with a little extra stuff I came up with, I ended with 12 pages not including title page. So I went back NUMEROUS times and with every reread, I took something worthless out, and found something that needed to be fix, ala typos and grammaticals. The page break and (CONT) errors were a fault of the conversion of which I had no control over since I don't speak ADOBISH.

Having said that, I don't think I have written the greatest western of the fest, but my reviews also state that I have not written the worst. So in this, one can't completely count last minute entries completely out of the quality pool. It's what the author does with those last few minutes that counts.
 
RodThompson said:
So I went back NUMEROUS times and with every reread, I took something worthless out, and found something that needed to be fix, ala typos and grammaticals. The page break and (CONT) errors were a fault of the conversion of which I had no control over since I don't speak ADOBISH.

Having said that, I don't think I have written the greatest western of the fest, but my reviews also state that I have not written the worst. So in this, one can't completely count last minute entries completely out of the quality pool. It's what the author does with those last few minutes that counts.
Click to expand...

"...don't speak ADOBISH" Now THAT's great writing! :D

You obviously spent a lot of time on your script, and enjoyed it and gave it very high marks indeed, so no, last minute entries are not necessarily low quality.
Also, I always print out each draft, mark it up with the red pen, then when I fix it in the computer, I assign a new draft #. If you prefer to make revisions on the computer it makes it difficult to assign draft numbers I s'Pose, then how do you know when you get to 10? :)

It may have been a blessing in disguise that you had to rewrite it from memory. You probably only remembered the good parts!
 
yeehaanow said:
It may have been a blessing in disguise that you had to rewrite it from memory. You probably only remembered the good parts!
Click to expand...

Actually, the problem I have with memory is that for days, not weeks or longer, just days after I write something, the dialogue is stuck in my head. I may lose the exact action lines, but its like when you watch a movie 15 times in one day, you just remember the words and where the character's were when they said them.

So I remember the conversation on the wagon, though "they ride on wagon" may have been replaced by, "a wagon rides on they!" :evil:
 
I don't think these are a waste of time even if they do contain a typo here or there. There's still valuable criticism to be given beyond the mundane typo that could help the writer regardless of what draft it is.

I do agree that quick proof-reads can be done but I wouldn't call reading any of them a waste of time.
 
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