Gangs and Gangsters

timbook2 said:
I have a small problem with the amount of pistols being toted in these contest films. this film had the sound right. a lot of other films have terrible sound/loud music as if to cover up a weak plot/acting/writing with extremely loud music. the low-angle shot when they walk into the school had some trembling camera was that intended? otherwise filmed nicely.
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Thank you! I normally struggle with sound myself and to hear that you think it was right, well that means a lot.

The trembling camera was intentional, but I should have done more/less with it. That chase sequence every time I watch it gets me mad. I needed another angle, or something. Sticking to one angle was just bad planning on my part. Something for me to consider in future sequences.
 
lawriejaffa said:
I'll never think of Dolphins in the same way again!
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I had a conversation with someone and it was the most random thing.

HIM: I don't like dolphins.
ME: Where is that coming from?
HIM: You know they're more dangerous than sharks right?
ME: I dunno, I thought they saved people from sharks...
HIM: No, they kill them on the spot. Crazy thing is, they don't eat the shark, they don't do it to save people, they just do it all the time.
ME: Sheesh... it's like they are the serial killers of the sea.
HIM: Freaking dolphins...

I never thought of dolphins in the same way either... hence why I thought it was interesting that if you compared like a Bloody or Crypt, they are flashy in your face, always making their presence known amoungst the other little fishies. Then there's gangsters/mob who are more reserved, not so in your face only when you need them to be, sometimes even nice (granted that's the media trying to give criminal life a heart). Hence the dolphin/shark thing... It's a stretch I guess =P
 
I think the concept of a former gang member, mixed up in a world of of crime and vandalism, who suffers from amnesia (or even disassociative amnesia) is a fun idea to toy with. I thought there were some truly comical moments between the gangsters, especially the conversation that exposes the red haired man's inability to adapt properly to his lifestyle. There seems to be a fair amount of satire of gang culture mixed with an honest portrayal of people who look at what they do as work, in order to get by. It's a noble intention.

However, my true complaint with this film is that most of this just wasn't believable. I wasn't a particular fan of the heart beating within the sound and image itself. It was really distracting to me. The use of the audio made for a decent effect, but the image blurring was just too much.

The gun shots were done pretty well. I think you did a good job handling the blood also.

All-in-all, not a bad outing. :thumbsup:
 
Nice to see someone else shooting in Jersey.

You had a lot of great shots in here - especially considering you put this together at the last minute.

I dug the stories about the sharks and the dolphins.

Best of luck in the fest.
 
Lawsuit_Boy said:
There seems to be a fair amount of satire of gang culture mixed with an honest portrayal of people who look at what they do as work, in order to get by. It's a noble intention.

However, my true complaint with this film is that most of this just wasn't believable. I wasn't a particular fan of the heart beating within the sound and image itself. It was really distracting to me. The use of the audio made for a decent effect, but the image blurring was just too much.
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Yeah, noble intentions sometimes aren't enough. It was one of those stories that I wanted to make feel more authentic but I knew I didn't have the talent to pull it off. Let alone most of my earlier drafts were just shot down. So instead I opted to "cop out" somewhat and go for a more satirical/comical approach to it.

Sorry about the heartbeat thing. My intention for that was to actually cover up somewhat a poorly shot chase sequence which was my bad for filming the way I did. At first I added a blur which didn't make any sense, time remapped it, all sorts of things, and figured a heartbeat indicating the stress level of the amnesiac would be my best option. I few viewers I knew weren't bothered by it, but they're friends and sometimes they aren't a harsh enough critic. I myself was bothered by it, but my othe option was to showcase something I wasn't too confident in. Live and learn I guess ><

Thanks for the critique though. I need more comments like that so I don't do something similar or use the same technique again because no one told me they just didn't like it. :dankk2:
 
Chris Messineo said:
Nice to see someone else shooting in Jersey.

You had a lot of great shots in here - especially considering you put this together at the last minute.

I dug the stories about the sharks and the dolphins.

Best of luck in the fest.
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Haha thanks! The sharks and dolphins are a hit and miss thing and I'm glad you liked it. It really all was last minute, shot the Sunday before everything was due and I only had a small sequence finished before then ><

And Jersey's gotta represent! Bring filmaking back to its' origins baby, we're talking about a Black Mariah and the conception of cinema as we know it!

And it's good to know there's another Jersey Filmaker named Chris as well. =D
 
I liked the discussion at the end and really dug the closing quip.

A little rough around the edges but that's to be expected since you threw this together late in the game. Give yourself some more time next fest and improve on what's been said.

More coverage and some special attention to audio next time around will help you out.

I look forward to seeing what you guys do next Fest.

MAH
 
I'm glad you were able to get everything together and entered in time. I thought the gun effects were great and really caught me off guard in a good way. I'm afraid that the majority of the film wasn't for me, but I'll say this though... never freakin swimming with dolphins again.
 
im very confused by the entire movie. i watched it all the way through and i still dont understand fully what's going on here. it reminds me a lot of "Wanted" i liked the effort but i think it should have been more of a comedy.
 
I would agree with others that you should have made bolder comedic choices, because those humorous moments are what really worked for me.

I thought the camera work was pretty good in general - not sure why you wanted to use a soft look after the fact. It could have worked if really taken to the extreme, so as to drive home the cloudy state of mind of the lead, but the grading/effects all seemed kind of half-assed (except for the gunshots and blood - those were spot on). I would really encourage you to be more bold in all of your choices.

I really dug the music at the end too. I feel like were approaching an really interesting style, but didn't quite get all the way there (maybe because you ran out of time?). Keep it up - looking forward to your next effort.
 
Will Clegg said:
I thought the camera work was pretty good in general - not sure why you wanted to use a soft look after the fact.

I really dug the music at the end too. I feel like were approaching an really interesting style, but didn't quite get all the way there (maybe because you ran out of time?). Keep it up - looking forward to your next effort.
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Yeah. It all became a time issue near the end. I did some basic color correction at first, then at the last minute started to mess with Magic Bullet and after a few different filters I just chose that one, which was a diffusion of black if I remember correctly. And since it was after midnight the final day of submission kinda panicked and just left it as it was. In retrospect, it would have been better with more contrast and a sharper look. Except the begining I think, the cloudy feel at the begining I think works, but you can argue otherwise, just because I think it works doesn't mean it does ><

And the music honestly was last minute as well! I actually had to cover a little bit of an audio problem near the end (the last monologue actually) because it was one of the only takes of those lines and the mic wasn't focused on the lead for some reason (freaking sound guy... and me for not noticing). So when the volume was boosted on him I had all this low frequency noise and figured I needed something to cover it up a little bit. Then came garage band =D

I hope to achieve some sort of asthetic that I can call my own someday and it's reassuring to hear that I might have approached it! Hopefully I won't disappoint on my next short.
 
SMarston said:
im very confused by the entire movie. i watched it all the way through and i still dont understand fully what's going on here. it reminds me a lot of "Wanted" i liked the effort but i think it should have been more of a comedy.
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I'm sorry if it was confusing. I tried to make it accesible and for confusing you, I feel like I've failed as a filmmaker... Not like a Uwe Boll movie... no no no nooo... but hopefully next time it will all be crystal clear. Sorry about that. To next time!
 
This had an interesting take on the amnesia play and there were cool story moments; I like the ending with him saying 'he's an artist'. But I find the majority of the story hard to follow and not very believable... It feels too big for the constraints of the production. Looks like you had a relatively small crew and mostly public or personal locations... it's a tough type of story to pull off without the right props, locations and all around production value. I think it shows promise in certain areas for you as a director/filmmaker but I think this script/project was too big to take on. Sorry if I sound hard here, I just think you'd produce a much better movie with a different kind of script. One that didn't require all these action elements. Does that make sense?

I made a film a while back for HorrorFest, the first short film I directed, and I really bit off a little more than I could chew on it... and in the end, it just didn't look or feel the way I had envisioned in my head. That bothered me, but also taught me that I needed to think in more simple terms. So my next project was exactly that, a simple script, and an easier production, one where I could concentrate more on character.

You've got cool ideas and I'd be interested in seeing what you could do with a more realistic script in your hands. Thanks for sharing.
 
Haha intentional or not, this had some really funny stuff in it... dolphins:grin:
I really liked the way it wrapped up at the end, your actor really brought some better energy to that final monologue.

Careful with your effects, the heartbeat and weird pulsations didn't feel needed.
I think if you tighten up your editing and give yourself some more time you'll have some great stuff.
 
Geoff_R said:
It feels too big for the constraints of the production. Looks like you had a relatively small crew and mostly public or personal locations... it's a tough type of story to pull off without the right props, locations and all around production value.

You've got cool ideas and I'd be interested in seeing what you could do with a more realistic script in your hands. Thanks for sharing.
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I don't know if it was too big to fit the constraints of the production. It definately needs some nip/tucking. Yeah, the crew was tiny, and the locations were essentially picked the day of because of where the actors were at the time instead of where I originally wanted them to be filmed.

I thought it was an interesting idea as well, and you're right. I need to simplify my stories a bit more. Maybe next fest/my next short, I'll go for something more dramatic rather than action/comedic. Thanks for the tips =D
 
MrKilloran said:
Careful with your effects, the heartbeat and weird pulsations didn't feel needed.
I think if you tighten up your editing and give yourself some more time you'll have some great stuff.
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I made another edit and removed the heartbeat/blur effect and it really wasn't needed. I sometimes have ADD when I edit and I feel that there needs to be something happening all the time, when all you really need is a little moment to breathe... if that makes any sense. Well here's to the next time!
 
Nice story.
The overall look (grading) could have bin a bit "harder" to match the story, but I enjoyed it anyway, good film.

Frank
 
Cool. I liked most of the shots. The action sequence was a bit choppy.

Nice gun shots and blood splatters!

I liked the ending to haha.

Robbie
 
Interesting film. There was a little bit of a volume war between music and dialogue at the beginning. I see what you were going for with the two gangster's dialouge and it worked for the most part. You had some effective shots going on in there. The heartbeat vibration was a cool idea but it went on for a little long. Ending monologue was cool. All in all, some good work here. Just take some time to iron out the tech stuff. Thanks for sharing!
 
This one felt like it didn't know what it wanted to be. At times, it looked like you were playing it for laughs and at other times it looked liked you were trying to be dead serious. I think because of this, you never committed to what you wanted to do and as a result it didn't quite succeed on either front.
 
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