Funeral Industry Corruption

[Drew Ott]

How common knowledge is it that the funeral industry is corrupt?

My mom worked at a funeral home. I was about to graduate high school and she figured she'd get a part time job. She saw an ad looking for a grief counselor at a funeral home and was given the job. The job paid commission and during training she was taught to "upsell upsell upsell." 6 months later she quit. A poor family had spent their last $5,000 to pay for the father's funeral service, and my mom's boss kept telling her to suggest upgrading the vault to granite, otherwise the casket was at risk of being crushed (which is a lie).

I got pretty intrigued by all of this and started reading books about the funeral industry. If this sounds interesting to you, I highly highly recommend "The American Way of Death Revisited." It's both terribly depressing and hilarious.

I've since gone to a couple funeral homes pretending I wanted to prearrange my own funeral. I was given the same sales techniques that I had read about. It's absolutely bizarre, the people are like used car salesmen. I could barely tell what was true and what wasn't, even though I'd studied their techniques. It's tragic to imagine families in grief being taken advantage of. The salespeople speak with gentle voices and feign empathy, but they lie and manipulate like anybody else.

While I was in the funeral homes, I used a pocket audio recorder. If anybody is interested, I can cut together a little highlight reel of some of the ridiculousness. I have a few hours of material and there's some gold in there.

 

[AdrianF]

I don't know about corruption, but I ended up on halloween filming at a funeral directors - the date was just a coincidence. Most of the guys who worked there had a great sense of humour!

 

[TERRA Operative]

Penn and Teller did a segment on their show 'Bulls**t!' about funeral homes. Interesting viewing.

I mean, you really should pay the extra cash for the top of the range, silk lined, solid oak coffin with the polished brass handles and rubber seals, so that big slab of rotting meat is nice and comfortable in it's pressure cooker ready for the worms....
I especially like the practice of reselling the metal handles and brackets from the cremated coffins. You could recycle and resell the same part multiple times over!


Meh, when I die, take what's useful to save someone else's life, stuff the rest in a cardboard box and drop me at sea for the fishes.

 

[Matt Gottshalk]

I want to be cremated and then have my ashes shot out of a shotgun by my buddies.

Dont laugh, its been done.

 

[Chris Adler]

Corrupt? They aren't a service, they're a business. They should try and upsell just as much as McDonald's and your local bank. That's how they make money. Since when did funeral homes become a public service and not a private for-profit business?

 

[Hawk Teflon]

But, Snazzy, they're manipulating fact (so it sounds) to play off of one of the most emotional times in a families life.

 

[Chris Adler]

Is that worse than manipulating children into thinking their fat and ugly if they don't wear a specific kind of jean? What about making me think I'll be safer in a European sedan versus something else. Basic marketing and advertising. You never know how easily manipulated someone might be. Someone who's grieving should probably have something who can see clearly make funeral arrangements. Naive people who know nothing about cars can be easily manipulated by a car salesman.

Where do we draw the line between what is really "corrupt" or just good business? Is the alternative that funeral homes are regulated by the government and can only offer very minimal services, or must operate as non-profit organizations?

 

[Hawk Teflon]

I personally have to prepare myself when I'm about to buy a car. I do my research, know the value, know what I want from previous experience of other cars, et al. If someone told me that the coffin I was buying could be crushed if not encased in concrete I would have to take their word for it. If someone told me I needed to buy tire insurance for an extra $5000, I'd walk out the door.

There are a few businesses that already have the "seedy" appearance to them, and it's expected. Danny DeVito plays a perfect used car salesman in Matilda. It's what we expect. You should expect them to lay it on thick. But at a funeral home? No. They shouldn't be LYING about things. I mean, what if someone told you that the new Canon DSLR's shot in 10k 4:4:4 to get the sale from you? YOU'D probably know that's not true, but would the average Joe? Now put that on TOP of the emotional grief they're going through. Where is the line? It's honesty. Don't lie to me about a product. Be honest and let ME make the decision based off the truth.

 

[Chris Adler]

Agreed. Everyone should be honest.

I'm sure most funeral homes aren't run by scumbags that would lie to a grieving widow to just make a few extra bucks, but since humans run them, I guarantee there are some that will. Honestly in business is already legislated. Do you have a proposal, Hawk, that could stop the problem?

 

[Hawk Teflon]

Only one. Immortality.

If people stop dying, they stop having to be buried.

 

[Michael Anthony Horrigan]

Corrupt? They aren't a service, they're a business. They should try and upsell just as much as McDonald's and your local bank. That's how they make money. Since when did funeral homes become a public service and not a private for-profit business?

Yes but some can see it as taking advantage of someone when they're not at their strongest. This is not like buying a burger. Maybe if McD's was up-selling it to you at a moment when you were starving. Then you might have a fair comparison and both sound equally awful.

My Dad worked at a funeral home for a while, although not in sales.
He told us to get him cremated and to dump his ashes at his favourite fishing spot. Didn't even want a fancy urn.
Its easier when things are lined up beforehand.

 

[Chris Adler]

I'd like to be totally recycled, meaning I'd like to be Fargo'd via a wood chipper into the ocean. More biomass to feed the sea creatures. If every sea-front city had a recycle station you could just take Aunt Bertha and recycle her properly. No wasted land, etc.

Who likes this idea?

 

[Hawk Teflon]

I might need to team up with you for the next ScareFest, Snazzy. That's pretty creepy.

 

[ryan brown]

This topic sounds like a documentary in the works. And, Drew, sounds like you've already got a good start and knowledge base

 

[Michael Anthony Horrigan]

This topic sounds like a documentary in the works. And, Drew, sound like you've already got a good start and knowledge base

I was thinking the same thing.

 

[Jawa Ex Machina]

Isn't it pretty much common knowledge that the church has covered up or condoned pedophile priests?
I figure all industries are corrupt.

 

[Hawk Teflon]

Isn't it pretty much common knowledge that the church has covered up or condoned pedophile priests?
I figure all industries are corrupt.

But that's known about because of people brining it into the light. Maybe this is what it'll take to give this the light it needs.

 

[kgimedia]

I wonder what responsibility the video/filmmaker community plays in the "lies for profit" model. I mean most car makers and hamburger makers need us to make their commercials.

 

[ryan brown]

I wonder what responsibility the video/filmmaker community plays in the "lies for profit" model. I mean most car makers and hamburger makers need us to make their commercials.

Don't shoot the messenger

 

[Drew Ott]

Corrupt? They aren't a service, they're a business. They should try and upsell just as much as McDonald's and your local bank. That's how they make money. Since when did funeral homes become a public service and not a private for-profit business?

Yes, corrupt. The funeral directors will indeed lie to you. There are very simple lies like, "All cemeteries in your county require vaults" which force you into buying a vault. There are more intense lies like, "Your uncle is too tall for our cheapest casket. If you insist on our cheapest casket, we will have to cut off his feet."

Where do we draw the line between what is really "corrupt" or just good business? Is the alternative that funeral homes are regulated by the government and can only offer very minimal services, or must operate as non-profit organizations?

The line is drawn semantically when somebody lies for profit. The alternative is public awareness and tougher consumer protection agencies.

I'm sure most funeral homes aren't run by scumbags that would lie to a grieving widow to just make a few extra bucks, but since humans run them, I guarantee there are some that will.

Unfortunately that's not the case anymore. Death is very profitable, and giant companies have been buying the small family-owned funeral homes.

This topic sounds like a documentary in the works. And, Drew, sounds like you've already got a good start and knowledge base

That's the plan eventually. I was working on a feature script for a while about a funeral director, and I think a documentary would be a nice idea too.