For Married people only.

Richard J. Johnson said:
Me and my wife have been together for 16 years and I was talking to a few of my married friends about sex and it seems that we don't have it as much as them. After the kids we only get down about twice a month. Is that normal for you guys?

Sex is good but we just don't have it as much as we did before the kids. My boys think it's crazy but that is how it's been for a while now. it is just normal for us. Don't know if that is good or bad. We were just having a debate about it.

googling it seems a little odd to me.

i figure since most of us are adults....
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After 16 years of marriage twice a month is quite normal because of the steady decline affecting most couples. It doesn't matter if you are 36 or 56. Whatever the frequency is, it is perfectly normal for the mood you are in at this point in your life. If you are worried about it, you could try to improve the mood.

Many things get in the way due to external factors, but the most important thing that is causing the reduced frequency is the existing reduced frequency itself because frequency has an effect on pleasure during sex and in your body chemicals the rest of the time. Think of it as a mountain with a plateau. When you are on top everything comes naturally, but when you allow yourself to start rolling on one slope or the other you will reach the ground really fast, and it's a long hard way up. We like to think of sex as a very complex thing, but the mood and quality of sex is just chemicals that build up and get released.

If you want you to both be in the mood more frequently, the only way to do this is to try to gradually increase the frequency. You have to try but you don't want to rush anything or press yourself. It helps to change the environment, trips, separate bedrooms, romantic evenings, etc. When the frequency starts increasing, the chemicals will start getting back on track, you will both be in a better mood and frequency will increase itself. It will be a lot more enjoyable due to the higher quality, higher excitement for both, good duration and timing and your minds will surely follow.

Nature has its way to put you into sex mode, the chemicals will rise and stay high if you get into this mode. If sex is not an everyday part of your life, nature will suppress it, you do not appear to be in reproduction mode so the chemicals will go down to save the energy and sexual frustration when a mate is not around. Once a week is a good recipe for very bad sex, especially for the female. Women rarely express themselves freely in these matters so never take honesty for granted.

The optimal frequency for most healthy people is about once every 18 hours. Such a frequency transforms the sexual behaviour of a couple. Think of the top of the mountain as the area between 12hours and 36hours. If you allow it to be further than 2-3 days, it will go down the hill, it will be of lower quality, which will lead to reduced pleasure and reduced frequency. Most people can find it very pleasurable at 4 times a day, but that will wear the chemicals off after a few weeks or even days, which will also lead to reduced frequency and pleasure. Only do the 4 times a day thing occationally.
 
Once you get over 40 it's birthdays, anniversaries and if you're both really on form, valentines :-D
 
I think Otis touched on the importance of health and physical fitness: sex can be great exercise but regular training is supportive of great sex.
 
Been married for 15 years today...
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Awesome post.

Otis Grapsas said:
After 16 years of marriage twice a month is quite normal because of the steady decline affecting most couples. It doesn't matter if you are 36 or 56. Whatever the frequency is, it is perfectly normal for the mood you are in at this point in your life. If you are worried about it, you could try to improve the mood.

Many things get in the way due to external factors, but the most important thing that is causing the reduced frequency is the existing reduced frequency itself because frequency has an effect on pleasure during sex and in your body chemicals the rest of the time. Think of it as a mountain with a plateau. When you are on top everything comes naturally, but when you allow yourself to start rolling on one slope or the other you will reach the ground really fast, and it's a long hard way up. We like to think of sex as a very complex thing, but the mood and quality of sex is just chemicals that build up and get released.

If you want you to both be in the mood more frequently, the only way to do this is to try to gradually increase the frequency. You have to try but you don't want to rush anything or press yourself. It helps to change the environment, trips, separate bedrooms, romantic evenings, etc. When the frequency starts increasing, the chemicals will start getting back on track, you will both be in a better mood and frequency will increase itself. It will be a lot more enjoyable due to the higher quality, higher excitement for both, good duration and timing and your minds will surely follow.

Nature has its way to put you into sex mode, the chemicals will rise and stay high if you get into this mode. If sex is not an everyday part of your life, nature will suppress it, you do not appear to be in reproduction mode so the chemicals will go down to save the energy and sexual frustration when a mate is not around. Once a week is a good recipe for very bad sex, especially for the female. Women rarely express themselves freely in these matters so never take honesty for granted.

The optimal frequency for most healthy people is about once every 18 hours. Such a frequency transforms the sexual behaviour of a couple. Think of the top of the mountain as the area between 12hours and 36hours. If you allow it to be further than 2-3 days, it will go down the hill, it will be of lower quality, which will lead to reduced pleasure and reduced frequency. Most people can find it very pleasurable at 4 times a day, but that will wear the chemicals off after a few weeks or even days, which will also lead to reduced frequency and pleasure. Only do the 4 times a day thing occationally.
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Richard J. Johnson said:
Congrats batutta! I thought you'd be taller :)
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My wife is 5'8"...I'm 6'5"...She's probably wearing platforms, too...And in case you're wondering, yes I did get a quickie marriage in Vegas so my wife could stay in the country (they got weddings down to a science there, in and out in 15 minutes, with papers). We had the real wedding in Canada 9 months later.
 
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That's crazy, my wife is the same height and I'm 6'6". We had a small wedding as well. We rented a mansion for $250.00 and had the reception at nice bistro that I didn't pay for. Maybe 50 people.
But I still aint naming my kid Battuta. :)

Batutta said:
My wife is 5'8"...I'm 6'5"...She's probably wearing platforms, too...And in case you're wondering, yes I did get a quickie marriage in Vegas so my wife could stay in the country (they got weddings down to a science there, in and out in 15 minutes, with papers). We had the real wedding in Canada 9 months later.
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Charli said:
congrats batt!

My hubby is 6 feet, I'm 5'2, my son is 6'2. I live with giants.
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My wife's side of the family is pretty tall, all the guys over 6 feet. I have a couple nearly 6 foot tall sisters...needless to say my daughter is going to be TALL. She's always been in the 95 percentile for height.
 
You guys just got to know how to get her in the mood...

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"And five, now this is the most important, Rat. When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV."
 
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