First Project Ever...I Need Criticism

This is one to tread lightly on for sure. I think maybe some of the negative responses stem from the fact that it won for comedy. I wonder if the feedback would have been different had it won for horror or some other genre. You're dealing with pretty loaded images, which are not funny in the least to "most" people. I think maybe people's reaction to the piece would be different viewed from some other frame of reference. I dunno.

That being said, I'm gonna have to agree with you Puzzle. You're kinda getting the shaft here. Yeah, each person has the right to his/her own opinion and can state it. For me, it's not my cup of tea, but you do do well in creating an atmosphere of creepiness. A lot of these comments have just been unhelpful. Se7en was disturbing, the subject matter in Hostel was as well. I'm not drawn to these stories, but other people are.

I think tellin someone his video sucked and was a waste of time without offering any other comments kinda sucks. If you were going for funny, then in my opinion...it wasn't. If you were goin for disturbing, then I think you did a lot of things well (bathtub milk bottling, clown singing in mirror...)
 
Puzzled Films said:
I completely agree. Art can be shi*, but it is still Art.
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$hit can be art, but it is still $hit...

The difference between defining something as art or as $hit is maturity in delivery, motivation, and the message you are attempting to convey. This is something that only an artist can make the difference between. A $hitter will always call it art, but take a big **whiff**, smell that? It's not art...

General rule of life:

If it looks like $hit, tastes like $hit, and smells like $hit, guess what? It aint art.

-Jeremy
 
CineMischief said:
This is one to tread lightly on for sure. I think maybe some of the negative responses stem from the fact that it won for comedy. I wonder if the feedback would have been different had it won for horror or some other genre. You're dealing with pretty loaded images, which are not funny in the least to "most" people. I think maybe people's reaction to the piece would be different viewed from some other frame of reference. I dunno.

That being said, I'm gonna have to agree with you Puzzle. You're kinda getting the shaft here. Yeah, each person has the right to his/her own opinion and can state it. For me, it's not my cup of tea, but you do do well in creating an atmosphere of creepiness. A lot of these comments have just been unhelpful. Se7en was disturbing, the subject matter in Hostel was as well. I'm not drawn to these stories, but other people are.

I think tellin someone his video sucked and was a waste of time without offering any other comments kinda sucks. If you were going for funny, then in my opinion...it wasn't. If you were goin for disturbing, then I think you did a lot of things well (bathtub milk bottling, clown singing in mirror...)
Click to expand...

Thanks for your reply, You hit it on the nail.
 
TheYankee said:
$hit can be art, but it is still $hit...

The difference between defining something as art or as $hit is maturity in delivery, motivation, and the message you are attempting to convey. This is something that only an artist can make the difference between. A $hitter will always call it art, but take a big **whiff**, smell that? It's not art...

General rule of life:

If it looks like $hit, tastes like $hit, and smells like $hit, guess what? It aint art.

-Jeremy
Click to expand...

I am not trying to drag this forever but, I hate everything that Pollock painted so is that immediatly Shi*? No, It is still Art - Just not the type of Art that I like. That is all I am trying to portray to everyone here.

If you hate the film so be it. If you like the film so be it.

I just want a little direction and guidence on what I did decent and what I could work on to help me make better films in the future.
 
I agree. Well put Yankee.

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Sorry Puzzled. Not sure your motivation in submitting this here (or there) or what convinced you it would be funny/different/art/an expression but it reaks of someone taking a dump on the stage.

I assume you knew it would get more than mixed reviews and you can chalk it up too 'Did I shock you ? Well did I?' but I can film kittens being beat and ask the same thing.

You have a ways to go in maturity on both sides of this filmmaking coin; technically and as an artist. Your name 'Puzzled Filmmaker' seems to sum it up.

-

You find this stuff funny ? innovative ? Original ? Let the audience make these determinations.

-
 
Hmmm, wasn't going to post on this one, but what the heck.

The content ? Enough's been said about it.

The tech ? Obviously better lighting - 'cause it is a journey. And I felt you went a little overboard with the canted angles. Some of your transitions show a fondness for dissolves. Overall you matched the pace of the song with your edits. Watch the wide shots, composition wise, as I thought they were weaker than your CU's. And you also have to tweak the reveal to get full effect, although I did get the transition from light hearted to creepy killer vibe.

One of the things that I thought minimized that effect was the clown makeup. IMO, it worked at cross purposes to what you were trying to achieve.

Have you ever considered watching Fellini and how he incorporates whimsical elements into a greater whole. Obviously, this is a completely different animal, but there are some techniques that may be useful for you to look at.

Finally, I can't say it's the cats meow, but for a first effort its at least a dogs bark. I've sat watching far too many film school first efforts to tell you that yours is crap. You did make some rookie mistakes, like too many canted angles, unnecessary dissolves, and embracing concepts over composition, but that's something to grow out of.
Believe me, at least with everything besides the content, for a first effort, it ain't as craptastic as a lot of other stuff I've seen. Maybe that says something about my alma mater ?

Anyway, grab that camera and film something that doesn't rely on "shock" to reach the shore.

:beer:

PS - Don't take it personal. People get kinda' miffed when it comes to a pederast.
 
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Art is subjective. I can call chewed up bubblegum art but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If 9 out of 10 people think my bubblegum art sucks then it probably violates a principle of some sort.
In the movie Adaptation the main charachter Charlie is explaining to his twin brother that stories work on principles, not rules. A principle is something that is proven to work and I don't think this video works but I don't think that disqualifies it from being called art. I also think that the people that are attacking your video are getting a bit emotional about it. So in a sense, you've accomplished what a lot of the shock rockers like Marylin Manson or Alice Cooper did in their day.
I didn't like the story at all because it wasn't though provoking or clever, it just sort of missed the mark as far as dark comedy goes. My advice for your future work would be to avoid going for a shocking theme just to have a shocking theme and work towards a good story.
As far as your production goes, I agree with the lighting thing, and I think that for a first time effort it was good. You have a lot of room for improvement but keep posting your stuff so we can do our best to help you.
 
D_and_G said:
Hmmm, wasn't going to post on this one, but what the heck.

The content ? Enough's been said about it.

The tech ? Obviously better lighting - 'cause it is a journey. And I felt you went a little overboard with the canted angles. Some of your transitions show a fondness for dissolves. Overall you matched the pace of the song with your edits. Watch the wide shots, composition wise, as I thought they were weaker than your CU's. And you also have to tweak the reveal to get full effect, although I did get the transition from light hearted to creepy killer vibe.

One of the things that I thought minimized that effect was the clown makeup. IMO, it worked at cross purposes to what you were trying to achieve.

Have you ever considered watching Fellini and how he incorporates whimsical elements into a greater whole. Obviously, this is a completely different animal, but there are some techniques that may be useful for you to look at.

Finally, I can't say it's the cats meow, but for a first effort its at least a dogs bark. I've sat watching far too many film school first efforts to tell you that yours is crap. You did make some rookie mistakes, like too many canted angles, unnecessary dissolves, and embracing concepts over composition, but that's something to grow out of.
Believe me, at least with everything besides the content, for a first effort, it ain't as craptastic as a lot of other stuff I've seen. Maybe that says something about my alma mater ?

Anyway, grab that camera and film something that doesn't rely on "shock" to reach the shore.

:beer:

PS - Don't take it personal. People get kinda' miffed when it comes to a pederast.
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Thank you VERY MUCH for your input. You have given me exactly what I was hoping for. I was initially thinking that I had a few to many dissolves but due to the deadline I couldn't go back and change to some better transitions - Next project I will get right the first time so I don't have to worry about time constraints. I am glad that you felt the transition between the feeling of the story. I thought my CU's were pretty bad due to camera shake but I am glad you liked them better than the wides, I was trying to go for an erie feeling and I hoped that I accomplished this.

I will take your advice to heart and I will post something a little more Dramatic without the shock factor and hopefully more people will be willing to give some feedback on the technical rather than the story. Thanks again :)
 
hey there. i just wanted to give a little context to those people who think this video was made just to shock. it was written for a specific audience, namely those of the original alamo drafthouse cinema. for those of you unfamiliar with the alamo, or austin in general, i invite you down. let me buy you a beer. the alamo is famous for unique events and programming.

this was a competition based largely on audience votes, and the writers are familiar with the type of audience voting (google bloodshots). the team was given a song at random, and given 48 hours to write, shoot, and chop. as was mentioned, the team won three awards. with the exception of a handful of videos, most of the other videos were rife with simulated sex, drug use, and violence, and pretty much looked alike.

the team wanted to do something other than the generic with the song, and the subjects covered were intended to garner a reaction from the screening audience, in order to be memorable, because just about everybody is sick of that song.

apart from one instance of explicit violence, it seems to me that what most people are complaining about with the subject matter is due to their own inferences. nowhere is a child harmed in any way. and even the last scene is simply the clown shaking the milk--"milkshake."

personally, i think it was pretty clever. it was meant to be a rollercoaster, not just to shock (you should have seen some of the other videos screened). the team told a story using the song in a different way, and considering the constraints the team had to deal with, i think it was a good effort.

and the audience DID enjoy it.

P.S. it didn't look so dim on the big screen...
 
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1. You should have called the short "Utter Pus".
2. Clowns don't sing.
3. Did you see those teats on Betsy!!!
4. You should have had the boy get revenge on the clown. We need a hero.
5. She wasn't really dead if she was singing in the utter pus bath. Was she?
6. The boy should have been an Al Qaida suicide bomber and we would feel emotionally removed from the commie bastard.
7. This would make a great Advertisement for Soy Milk or all natural milk. The hormones and antibiotics are making sick clowns.
8. Where's the balloons man? We all need balloons with clowns and because of this missing I give you an F grade.
 
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