First Project Ever...I Need Criticism

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Puzzled Films

Active member
So, I have been on this forum for a few months now gathering knowledge and tips. 2 weeks ago I decided to shoot my first project ever. This was crazy cause I jumped right into the thickness of everything by actully taking part in a competition.

BPM: 48 Hour Music Video Competition - I went on a Friday and got a randomly picked song, I then only had 48 hours to come up with an Idea, Shoot and Edit a Music Video. It was screened to everyones liking and I actually got into the finals that will play tonight, I am in the top 5 out of 30 Music Videos. I wanted to post it here for everyone to Criticize due to most people here being professionals and really now what they are talking about. Again this was the first thing I ever shot and the First thing I ever Edited. Thanks in advance for your thoughts.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLmB1rtIFq0

and/or

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=733103922&n=2
 
Im only going to ask you this one time, do you ****ing smoke crack or shoot up heroin or something? You cant even be that wierd with lsd or weed, thats beyond the realm of eerie as ****...
 
LMAO^^ thats alittle harsh buddy, he asked for critism so give it to him.

Uhm, lets see, it wasn't shot badly, but its not really my thing, plus it did make me laugh at some points, so I guess thats a good thing right? Good editing for a first timer, keep at it, you'll do great.
 
About time someone did some weird stuff on the dvx. For your next project trying messing around with lighting. Good job.
 
It was real funny until the Kid came into the scene. I don't know I just don't have a sense a humor when it comes to pedophiles or people killing kids; maybe I will get it later. Other than that, the composition was pretty decent but just like someone else said,the lighting needs improvement.

FYI: I saw the artist who did the song MILKSHAKE, on VH1 and she said Her MILKSHAKE means her "confidence is better than her female associates" And I actually thought it meant something else.
 
Thanks for everyones input thus far. Again, this was my first project ever and the point of the competition was to be innovative and original. I went to the awards ceremony last night due to being in the finals.

I got 2 Audience Award's for Runner-Up Funniest Video & Best Use Of Song

I got a Jury Award for Runner-Up Best Use Of Song.

I Don't think that is too bad considering this is the first thing I have ever shot and there were 30 videos in all going against each other.

If you carefully listen to the lyrics you can see how far we were able to go with this song. I know that the meaning from the artist is on the opposite spectrum . But again, it was suppose to be original and innovative.

Thank's for the Input on Lighting, I know that I need lighting next time and that this project would have been 1,000 times better with good lighting. I am amazed that it turned out this well with raw natural light.
 
Puzzled Films said:
I got 2 Audience Award's for Runner-Up Funniest Video...
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Funniest?! Funniest?!
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You gotta be poo pooin' kidding me!!
A child molester and/or killer is the funniest thing these sick mother poo pooers saw?!
That's some film community that you got going out there!
You should all be so proud.
Goddamn...I'd hate to see what films were passed over for this piece of shït.
 
CallaghanFilms said:
Funniest?! Funniest?!
emoticon-04.gif

You gotta be poo pooin' kidding me!!
A child molester and/or killer is the funniest thing these sick mother poo pooers saw?!
That's some film community that you got going out there!
You should all be so proud.
Goddamn...I'd hate to see what films were passed over for this piece of shït.
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We actually do have a large Film Community in Austin, Texas. One of the Best in the World actually. And the Festival was a part of Alamo Drafthouse Cinema -> Voted the Best Theater in the US by Entertainment Weekly magazine. I am sorry if you disliked it but you don't have to be such an Ass and call it a piece of crap. I just wanted constructive criticism on Lighting, Composition, Angles, Editing ETC ETC. The whole idea of the film was to be Innovative and Original and I think it is pretty original for the type of song it is, if you listen to the lyrics carefully you can see the undertones of the story. It is ART and you being on this forum should realize this and just because I shot this does not mean that I am this type of person. So again I am not sorry and if you don't have anything constructive to say just leave your mouth shut. I am sorry to everyone else that is reading this but I take idiotic posts personally
 
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and as a father...

I take calling a clown luring a child to him/molesting & killing him/rubbing the same boy's milk container missing picture on his dick "funny" or "art" personally

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I am a father too. Again it is NOT REAL, IT IS ART!!! People find different things offending and I am sorry if you were Offended but I am not a Sick and Twisted individual. It is a story, a Fake story. An Artistic interpretation! I feel like I am talking to the MPAA or the FCC. Are you saying that I should have not been original and I should have had some cute girls dancing and be a TOOL! I am no TOOL and I work with originality. Personally I can be offended with Cute Girls dancing because that is taking advantage of the Female Form. If you are offended by ART than maybe you are in the wrong Profession and should look into something a little more Suiting.

The whole point of the project was suppose to be light hearted cheesiness at the beginning and then depressing scariness at the end. Did I not accomplish this?
 
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hahaha, man that was great. When I first heard the song I thought "oh god." But it turned out even better than I could've imagined.

There really wasn't much about it I'd change. You did really well since it was your first project. The clown guy was awesome, and some of your shots were really good. Lighting was done well. I guess next time you can experiment more with lighting. I don't really have anything negative to say.

The outtake at the end was hilarious. :thumbsup:

Jon Coy
 
CallaghanFilms said:
and as a father...

I take calling a clown luring a child to him/molesting & killing him/rubbing the same boy's milk container missing picture on his dick "funny" or "art" personally

emoticon-09.gif
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i'm not a father and i agree.
 
Lawsuit_Boy said:
hahaha, man that was great. When I first heard the song I thought "oh god." But it turned out even better than I could've imagined.

There really wasn't much about it I'd change. You did really well since it was your first project. The clown guy was awesome, and some of your shots were really good. Lighting was done well. I guess next time you can experiment more with lighting. I don't really have anything negative to say.

The outtake at the end was hilarious. :thumbsup:

Jon Coy
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Thanks man, I appreciate it. I feel the largest consensus is the lighting. I am going to try to get a cheap lighting rig from Home Depot or Lowes and start experimenting. Thanks again.
 
Puzz good job telling the story. Timing was good. I laughed. However violence and sex can be the easy way out for the filmmaker. Some subjects are off limits. As artist our minds are bomborded with crazy stuff. I wouldn't want my kids or parents to think that the issues at hand are art. Some things in life are sacred. Best to you!
 
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Callaghan,

I will end our conversation with this. This is Hypocrisy at it's best. You wrote the following post in the following thread ->

http://www.dvxuser.com/V6/showpost.php?p=538106&postcount=34

This clip has become quite popular online, but...
Quote:
Originally Posted by CMessineo
...The video consists of this: One woman punching another woman in the face in front of a child...
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I believe it is more than that; it is a mother punching her daughter's teacher in front of her at a PTA meeting. Come on...that's funny as hell.
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Chris, what about this? I've posted this one before...but can you honestly tell me this doesn't tickle your funny bone in a big way? http://gorillamask.net/grapestomp.shtml (Cause it's up there with the funniest shïte I've ever seen)


Frankly, I think yuz all are reading way to much into it.
Lighten up already.
__________________
Cheers:beer:& Long Ashes
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-Callaghan
Last edited by CallaghanFilms : 05-03-2006 at 02:28 PM
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Art ? That's funny.

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The subject matter:

I found nothing artistic or expressional about this piece. I'm no prude (I'm sure the boys on the site can testify to that) but this was just tasteless (and not in a good, controversial way). Funny today. Anyone can go out and film a controversial subject (Child porn, child abduction, snuff, pedophilia) and defend it by calling it art.

As a part of somethign larger; perhaps a narrative filmwork I can accept something like this, but as a stand alone to some dumbass song it comes across as crap.

The technical:
I just wanted constructive criticism on Lighting, Composition, Angles, Editing
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You have your work cut out for you.

You won something ? This was your basic amatuerish attempt at making a video. Is this even a DVX100 ? There is nothing about this that comes across as well done. Competition isnt too stiff in this fest is it ?

I'm also wondering why some here are like 'Dude! That's great!'. It's juvenile is what it is. But I suppose that's the problem when we let all of the kiddies on the site.

FYI: I saw the artist who did the song MILKSHAKE, on VH1 and she said Her MILKSHAKE means her "confidence is better than her female associates" And I actually thought it meant something else.
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Hello, McFly ! You believed that ? Yeeaah. Confidence. That's what it's about.

Edit:

And now you're attempting to bait Callaghan and compare a chick getting smacked to pedophilia ? Quit while you're ahead.
 
John_Hudson said:
Art ? That's funny.

-

The subject matter:

I found nothing artistic or expressional about this piece. I'm no prude (I'm sure the boys on the site can testify to that) but this was just tasteless (and not in a good, controversial way). Funny today. Anyone can go out and film a controversial subject (Child porn, child abduction, snuff, pedophilia) and defend it by calling it art.

As a part of somethign larger; perhaps a narrative filmwork I can accept something like this, but as a stand alone to some dumbass song it comes across as crap.

The technical:


You have your work cut out for you.

You won something ? This was your basic amatuerish attempt at making a video. Is this even a DVX100 ? There is nothing about this that comes across as well done. Competition isnt too stiff in this fest is it ?

I'm also wondering why some here are like 'Dude! That's great!'. It's juvenile is what it is. But I suppose that's the problem when we let all of the kiddies on the site.



Hello, McFly ! You believed that ? Yeeaah. Confidence. That's what it's about.

Edit:

And now you're attempting to bait Callaghan and compare a chick getting smacked to pedophilia ? Quit while you're ahead.
Click to expand...

I take everyones opinion greatly. Again, This was the first attempt to shoot anything. I purchased my DVX from a member of this site last month and this was the first time I even recorded anything. I have had no schooling and I have just gathered advice and resources from individuals I hold in high regard from this site and others.

I posted the film here so I can get an Honest opinion on how I did as a First-Timer. I was given a song and I went with it. I am not trying to defend Child Violence, Murder or Pedophilia yet I dictated the lyrics as something that could fall under this category and I was trying to come with an idea that no "Average Person" would take into account. I feel that Calaghan took the whole film as a personal representation of the type of person I am and did not take into account that it was just a story. I used the previous post of Calaghans just as a representation that others have found something he posted as Offensive and yet this falls under the same category as being Offensive while as in his previous post he mentioned something to the effect of "Relaxing, It's just a movie".

I have gotten good advice from you John and I take your criticism to full effect but I do feel that just because of my defending something you tore me a new one just for the fun of it. I will again say that this was the first thing I have ever done and others that post there first work that has no story or basis for anything gets great constructive criticism to work with and yet I get no such thing.

I do thank those that gave good criticism and took it for what it actually is, and JohnI don't think that you should get onto these individuals cause' they are just giving there honest opinion on what I should work on.

On a side note, You saying "Letting the Kiddies on teh site." I feel that this site is a tremendous outlet for people just getting started and it shoudl be an open resource for all to use. Just because I post something and I don't have 15,000 Posts does this mean that I am crap and I should go somewhere else? I mean this should be a honest resource and people shouldn't talk crap about eachother but should rather give friendly "Professional" advice on how to help fellow filmmakers.

I hold this sight in HIGH REGARD and through this thread it has made me a little upset that someone can't come and get honest answers to honest questions and keep everything on a even playing field rather than patting some people on the back and tearing into others. I am sorry that some find my work offensive but I think I did a pretty good job for someone that has never pressed the record butten before this.
 
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