First Project Ever...I Need Criticism

i agree.. it was kinda odd... but whether it's art or not cant be decided by us. Art is the process of creation, what we see is the byproduct. It's terribly closed minded to say something blatently isn't art.
puzzle... you def. have a unique form of creativity, and I look forward to seeing more stuff.
 
John_Hudson said:
...I'm also wondering why some here are like 'Dude! That's great!'. It's juvenile is what it is. But I suppose that's the problem when we let all of the kiddies on the site...
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Was thinkin' the same thing. Someone could film the contents of an unflushed toilet, and some clowns would praise it and say, "it's true perfection...don't change a thing!"


John_Hudson said:
...And now you're attempting to bait Callaghan and compare a chick getting smacked to pedophilia ? Quit while you're ahead.
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Just look at the source...besides, this tuna ain't biting!
 
I think for a first project, this is not bad. I think that the way you incorporate the song with a suspense thriller story is very clever, but story is very important and it was confusing in some parts, but for the most part, you're on your way. Great job. Eeeeerie clown.
 
It simply wasn't funny. I don't care if something is 'offensive' or not. Anything goes in my book as long as it's funny. But this, this was just boring. On a purely technical level, if that is what you're looking for, the timing of the cuts was off. There was no rhythm or 'beats' to the jokes. And if it wasn't meant to be a comedy it doesn't work as a thriller either. If you're going to deal with a subject as absurd as that, you need to involve your audience rather than alienate them and to call it 'art' is a flaccid excuse.

Nevertheless, I must admit I did laugh once. It was right around the time I was thinking 'how could this get worse?' only to see a little child walk into frame. Of course. That's how.

But let me say that you should keep making films. You wanted honest opinions, you got them. Once you get past the bruised ego then you can take some of the constructive things said here and make a better film.

Good luck.
 
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I think I'll stay away from the subject matter and criticize just the technical aspects.

The footage is pretty dark (like everyone already said).

Another thing you might want to fix is the framing when you're outside.
Some of the shots are underneath trees and shade, while it's really bright and sunny. It just makes it look video-ish (i guess we're all trying to avoid that, right?)
 
On another note:
this whole BPM film festival seems EXTREMELY dubious to say the least. And it would be interesting to find out whether they even bothered to get appropriate licenses for this song to be used like this. Their website is not very forthcoming with any information as to who they are.
 
Vampiresoup said:
It simply wasn't funny. I don't care if something is 'offensive' or not. Anything goes in my book as long as it's funny. But this, this was just boring. On a purely technical level, if that is what you're looking for, the timing of the cuts was off. There was no rhythm or 'beats' to the jokes. And if it wasn't meant to be a comedy it doesn't work as a thriller either. If you're going to deal with a subject as absurd as that, you need to involve your audience rather than alienate them and to call it 'art' is a flaccid excuse.

Nevertheless, I must admit I did laugh once. It was right around the time I was thinking 'how could this get worse?' only to see a little child walk into frame. Of course. That's how.

But let me say that you should keep making films. You wanted honest opinions, you got them. Once you get past the bruised ego then you can take some of the constructive things said here and make a better film.

Good luck.
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Understandable, Did you think that there were too many cuts or just to choppy?

Or was it that the timing and sequencing was off? If so - Too fast or too slow?

Thanks.
 
You asked for honesty. I gave it. I find this type of art wasteful. I'm ready to move on.

(This is the deal when asking for the public opinion; you gotta take every one in stride)

Maybe next time, you'll make a love story. Who know's ?
 
tjohara99 said:
I think I'll stay away from the subject matter and criticize just the technical aspects.

The footage is pretty dark (like everyone already said).

Another thing you might want to fix is the framing when you're outside.
Some of the shots are underneath trees and shade, while it's really bright and sunny. It just makes it look video-ish (i guess we're all trying to avoid that, right?)
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any ideas on how to avoid this? Should I just use lights to get rid of the shade or should I diffuse the light and open up the exposure?
 
John_Hudson said:
Art ? That's funny.

-

The subject matter:

I found nothing artistic or expressional about this piece. I'm no prude (I'm sure the boys on the site can testify to that) but this was just tasteless (and not in a good, controversial way). Funny today. Anyone can go out and film a controversial subject (Child porn, child abduction, snuff, pedophilia) and defend it by calling it art.

As a part of somethign larger; perhaps a narrative filmwork I can accept something like this, but as a stand alone to some dumbass song it comes across as crap.
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I agree. :zombie_smiley:
 
Cuts should help tell the story and, if done correctly, shouldn't really be noticable. I feel like if you notice the editing then you haven't really done your job. It's not a matter of too fast or too slow. You have to get a feel for a piece. Every piece is different. Take a look at my short on this site Jedi Breakfast. It's really simple editing but I feel it tells a story.

Another suggestion to make yourself a better filmmaker would be to surf this site and read as much as you can. The people here know A LOT. Pretty much everything I know now I learned off this site and from going to the library. I didn't take a course. Read books. Read as many books about filming as you can. Then watch films and notice the things the books talked about. Then shoot your stuff and try and apply what you learned.

Now, all that deals with the technical aspects of shooting and editing. From my experience, and correct me if I'm wrong, this site doesn't have all that much to say on how to tell a story. As far as telling a story is concerned I'd suggest for you to read scripts. A LOT of scripts. You can download them. And read books, of course. STORY by Robert Mckee is actually pretty good. He gives you basic structure of script writing.
 
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John_Hudson said:
You asked for honesty. I gave it. I find this type of art wasteful. I'm ready to move on.

(This is the deal when asking for the public opinion; you gotta take every one in stride)

Maybe next time, you'll make a love story. Who know's ?
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I understand this now, but I just got defensive and felt people were putting me out just for the fact that I got into an argument with Calghan. I don't care if people didn't like it. There is not one film in this world that everyone likes and I am okay with it. I just want constructive responses and not responses that serve no meaning. Thanks again for your input and I will put your advice to use.

I will definetely look into observing the scopes more in Post
 
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Puzzled Films said:
any ideas on how to avoid this? Should I just use lights to get rid of the shade or should I diffuse the light and open up the exposure?
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I don't really know how to word this, but I think you can frame your shot so it won't have the conflicting shadows/blown out brights. you just have to pick one, either go completely under the shade, or completely out of the shade.
 
tjohara99 said:
I don't really know how to word this, but I think you can frame your shot so it won't have the conflicting shadows/blown out brights. you just have to pick one, either go completely under the shade, or completely out of the shade.
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Answers that perfectly. Thank's. If I were unable to frame the shot one way or another. I.E -> If I am in a forest that has scattered trees with light rays shining through. What would be a good way to compensate for the Over and Under Exposure?
 
i can't believe i just watched that... it was pretty sick. i want 4 minutes of my life back. what kind of person has the audacity to call that art and brag about it winning a funny video award? it wasn't one bit funny... it was totally sick...
 
Just to make a statement to everyone that has posted about it. I did not mean ART as in, "This Rocks and I am a Artist". I meant it as any piece of Original Multimedia, Drawing, Video, Film, Picture, Photograph, Website, Book or any other means of original work is in my opinion a piece of Art"

Any film on here is Art in my opinion. I don't know if people on this thread thought that I meant it as me being cool and artistic cause that is not what I meant. It was nothing more than stating the definition of art which is:

"Human effort to imitate, supplement, alter, or counteract the work of nature."
 
ravinesedge said:
i can't believe i just watched that... it was pretty sick. i want 4 minutes of my life back. what kind of person has the audacity to call that art and brag about it winning a funny video award? it wasn't one bit funny... it was totally sick...
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I wasn't bragging. I was simply stating the facts as well as stating how many videos were involved and that I did however think that I did a pretty good job for a first timer. I accept anyones opinion on the film and appreciate every bit of it (The Bad & The Good). So Thank You for your opinion :)

I do wish that you refrain from stating that I am a bad person or that this reflects directly on me as a person. This is a website dedicated to helping fellow filmmakers with resources and advice. It is not a website dedicated to posts that have nothing more to do than talk crap about eachother. How is this beneficial to anyone?
 
I still have yet to watch this, but I'm bothered by the ART statement that continues to come up.

When I was in college one of my floormates who was a theatre major who got a grant to do performance art. He took a nap for thirty minutes on stage, then got up and took a dump in the middle of the stage. That was it.

What do you take from this story? Anything can be art, but even art is $hit sometimes.

-Jeremy
 
TheYankee said:
I still have yet to watch this, but I'm bothered by the ART statement that continues to come up.

When I was in college one of my floormates who was a theatre major who got a grant to do performance art. He took a nap for thirty minutes on stage, then got up and took a dump in the middle of the stage. That was it.

What do you take from this story? Anything can be art, but even art is $hit sometimes.

-Jeremy
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I completely agree. Art can be ****, but it is still Art.
 
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