Editing feedback on this 15 second piece (product sizzle)

Norm Sanders

Norm Sanders

Script Wrangler
Hey guys,

I had a shoot with a Stylist this past weekend, and between shooting her & her clients/services, she asked if I'd be interested in shooting her makeup (new product line she's offering). I said sure, and thought I'd just put together a fast paced, energetic product sizzle piece.

She's rec'd some feedback that it's too fast paced at the beginning, and that the viewers would like to see it slower ... but this is from demographics that are closer to their 50's, where I think her main demographic for this line are folks from early 20's to early 40's. I've got an idea of how I can "slow it down" in the shot/edit selection, while still sticking with the same drum loops, but someone else in the industry told me they thought it was fine as is.

Just looking for some various feedback before putting any more time into this (thanks!): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56ElNYtQ86w

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I AGREE
 
First 5 seconds.........choppy as hell. No cohesion in the editing. I saw it as 4-5 different scenes, not different views of the same thing. Didn't gel. I am only 40.

Does that make sense?
 
Lol, okay okay! In talking more with the client, she had only rec'd about 4 negative compared to 10 positive, but still ... I think what I'll do is just stick with one major shot during that initial choppy section, and simply stutter/skip several frames at each beat, so we're kind of step progressing through the shot, if that makes sense? Will still give it the sizzle/pizzaz I'm wanting, but not have TOO many different shots/angles thrown in at the beginning.

Thanks again!
 
I would consider maybe keeping the screen direction consistent. In the first 5 seconds, some shots make me feel like a pinball bouncing off those rubbery things. Maybe if all those quick cuts were all panning left or all panning right, it wouldn't be quite so jarring.
 
I hope to have it updated & replaced by tonight or tomorrow ... have a paying gig that's taking priority at the moment, but think everyone SHOULD like the next revision much, MUCH better.... I hope. :)

Thanks for the input!
 
I agree with the others, and I'm 24. We younger folks may have short attention spans, but that doesn't mean we like seizures. :) ;)

It's not bad though, just tone it down a notch at the beginning.
 
I'm going to freaking just create a 5 minute psycho strobe for you @#$#$%#$'s ! :evil:

Sheesh.....complain, complain, complain. ;)
 
Okay, try these out:

BORING version: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1STdw4AOmZ8

Happy compromise?: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VHfp_zyK_AA


I think at this point I'm becoming too close to it to really envision other changes within the 15 second limit I'm wanting for this, so I would be MORE than happy to entertain ideas/thoughts for different cuts, visual effects to put in (i.e. non-cheesy of course), etc.

Heck, I'll maybe even take this through AE, if need be, though I don't know the program very well, and this is all 100% through Sony Vegas 9. Also, for those interested, this was all shot with the consumer Canon HFS100, stock lens, and three home depot clamp lamps with 100w daylight corrected bulbs, each with a small 1/2 diffuser, and one (over head angle coming from the upper right) with a lavender gel. Overall, two lamps on the product, and one shining onto a matte white board about 10 feet in the background, while the product was sitting on a standard glass cart/tray, tipped at an angle so I could see the glass & the board behind it. First product shoot I've ever tried, BTW.
 
I would have liked to seen one close up of one product, we never get that, we get the masses. There's no one "star" which I don' t know if it makes sense in a commercial, but just a couple, three seconds of one product where I can "read" the whole name on the bottle would work for me.
 
This video makes me think of the act of lighting a match - if that makes sense.

It starts out big and sizzly, and then it calms down considerably in relation to the opening few seconds.

Maybe open a little slower, like the back two-thirds of the video now, and then bring us some flashing of the brand and logo.

Could just be a personal taste thing, though.
 
Just an opinion norm, but I think the issue is with the music. Just cant see it hitting the target market well. I think a change of music will change the whole feel when its cut for a different sound.
 
Damn! No unison in the voices here, since the changes. Hmmm, will ask about the music to the client, as I've wondered that myself.

Charli, just a 15 second spot, so not too much time to dedicate to anyone product, and not sure it would be too beneficial unless it was more of a spot about just that one product, so details about it could be gone into like the traditional Mabeliene (sp?) commercials, etc.
 
Hey you asked for input, and you are getting it.........

LOL, be careful of what you ask for......you just might get it.

EDIT: I agree with Noel........the music should be re-thought. First, it sounded too......home-MIDI generated. Non-dimensional, if I am desrcibing it right. Second, the vid didn't match the music.

Lastly, make the music sound like an entire composition. Add layers and dimensions to it. It needs to be a 15 sec. song, not a clip of something longer of a few tracks.
 
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I didn't feel the music either, and I don't know if it's worth making editing suggestions if the music's going to change, but-
The quick cuts were definitely too much.
Maybe ramp up one shot for some spice without the image changing?
Nice product shot set up!
 
Thx, guys....it's on hold at the moment, as I've got a paying gig that's taken precedence, and the client hasn't gotten back to me on any changes yet. I'd LOVE to find something that's got a good 15 second kick/song, ideas on where to look for royalty free stuff like that? I guess I could inquire with a couple of composers I know as well on that end.
 
I must be getting old (38)
because the boring version is still too much for me as far as flashes and bouncing around is concerned. (and I love fast cut pieces)
 
Charli said:
I would have liked to seen one close up of one product, we never get that, we get the masses. There's no one "star" which I don' t know if it makes sense in a commercial, but just a couple, three seconds of one product where I can "read" the whole name on the bottle would work for me.
Click to expand...


+ 1
I dont mind fast edits but there has to be a moment where the viewer can breathe.
after settling from a seizure :furious3: !
 
I have a fever ... and the only cure is more strobing!

Ok, but seriously, I think the music is what's making me flinch.
 
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