Edgen - "Brown Waters"

You're up next... thought I'd let you know before I watched it... lol

OK, just watched it... nice job dude!! :)
 
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lol... not a single comment on mine yet... probably cause no one's watched it... either that or they don't get my sense of humor... :Drogar-Evil(DBG):
 
I thought the idea of this was really good. The lead up to the climax was a little slow to me and thought that we could have gotten to the problem faster and take time showing his inner battle. I didn't know who the cable diver was but I thought if it were another person he knew and just spoke to a few minutes ago it would have been stronger. Like 2 friends go off and both do something stupid at the same time and he has to decide who to save.
 
I watched it tom! I think i'm still in awe. :) I think people are scared to comment.

I see the horror in a production falling through, so i guess its all dependent on the viewer and it's subjective.

/j
 
Aram Bauman said:
I thought the idea of this was really good. The lead up to the climax was a little slow to me and thought that we could have gotten to the problem faster and take time showing his inner battle. I didn't know who the cable diver was but I thought if it were another person he knew and just spoke to a few minutes ago it would have been stronger. Like 2 friends go off and both do something stupid at the same time and he has to decide who to save.
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Ut oh. I guess it wasn't clear that his other buddy jumped on the zipline. same guy who was on the four-wheeler and truck. That was his battle while trying to save on.. it was his two friends. But Which one to save?

thanks for the crit Aram. :)

/j
 
MOVIE MASTER said:
I Liked Lakeside Better .... Is Their A Part2
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thanks movie master :)

There's an extended ending to brown Waters.. yes. I will post that after the festival is over. heck, I have an extended version of 9 minutes completely with dialog and lots of other stuff, but I had to cut it out.

ahhh the editing floor.

/j
 
Edgen -
You have an extended version? By any chance, do you have a reduced version?
Joking...
There were a few really nice things here. It's a great location, of course, and i bet you could shoot a hundred movies here and not exhaust it as a space. There was a high level of comfort between the two lead actors, which gave the film a certain natural feel. Even among friends, that can be hard to achieve, often, it doesn't play or come across.
The dialogue was nice also, actually - sort of felt like better TV writing, the opening to an episode of some show a friend insisted i watch with him.
The weaknesses of the film, you are probably already pretty familiar with. And I'm sure that given more time, more resources, et cetera, most of them would go away. I'm not going to beat any horses here.
That said, you should always look at your movie for what it is, and not what it could be. A trimmed-down version of this film might elevate it past some friends playing at a lakeside when something strange happens, into the realm of a tightly structured film with three distinct acts.
At any rate, thanks for making a film, thanks for hosting the films, and thanks for listening to my wordy review.
-Ben
 
penfever said:
Edgen -
You have an extended version? By any chance, do you have a reduced version?
Joking...
There were a few really nice things here. It's a great location, of course, and i bet you could shoot a hundred movies here and not exhaust it as a space. There was a high level of comfort between the two lead actors, which gave the film a certain natural feel. Even among friends, that can be hard to achieve, often, it doesn't play or come across.
The dialogue was nice also, actually - sort of felt like better TV writing, the opening to an episode of some show a friend insisted i watch with him.
The weaknesses of the film, you are probably already pretty familiar with. And I'm sure that given more time, more resources, et cetera, most of them would go away. I'm not going to beat any horses here.
That said, you should always look at your movie for what it is, and not what it could be. A trimmed-down version of this film might elevate it past some friends playing at a lakeside when something strange happens, into the realm of a tightly structured film with three distinct acts.
At any rate, thanks for making a film, thanks for hosting the films, and thanks for listening to my wordy review.
-Ben
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Ooh no man, thank you for the review! this is the good stuff that I like to hear. I do have a longer version that I started out with originally, but that's with the entire dialog and random stupidness that comes out of John's mouth. :) (which, if you watched some of the unused footage, he's got a pretty drunk and dirty mouth. :))

Many of the takes were corrupt, audio was captured straight from the camera itself.. yes.. In other words, I know how I will rate the film. (good thing its for exhibition only). John was literally getting so drunk by the end of the shoot I couldn't find a good solid take so I was piecing it together like a mad man. I also actually made my brother tread water so he was pretty exhausted as well.

Perhaps one day I'll revist the location and life will be grand.

any and all crits are good, so definitely keep them coming. keep them comin.
/j
 
The strongest part of your film is the story. I really like the ending as I feel many will have different views on what the ending itself represents. At first, I was a little lost and perhaps things were moving to slow but once his friend starts drowning off in the distance and the subsequent undecisive action by your lead, I think I understood your reasons for making the beginning as is.

Music was enjoyable (I've always liked your music); cinematography wasn't bad or anything but it didn't stand out as one of your strong points. Editing was good, it felt natural to me but what I think might have helped is if you'd gotten some CU's or at least some MCU's on your leads while at the dock. In their main convo, you're using mostly medium shots; I think if you had some tighter shots to work with there, the editing/pacing for those scenes would feel better. Just my 2 cents.
 
Geoff,
Excellent, excellent! You know, I never ever thought of getting close ups of John or Jared. I think because the camera did not do so well that close and the audio at that point would have been WAAAY Out of whack.

ya, when I showed the ending to my mom, she... well. She didn't approve of her son drowning. So, I added the extra end to represent the pond itself. In the final ending of the film it really makes the film open ended.

Thank you for taking the time to give some feedback. Mucho appreciated. Specially about the score. It was really weird scoring my own project.

Btw, I'll have to find out what camera that was. I think it was a sony camera/recorder combo.

keep em rollin' in.

/j
 
SPOILER

He was dressed up at the end because he just got back from the funeral and couldn't stand it anymore, right?

I could not tell that was his buddy on the zip line. If we knew the friends 'NAME' when he came on the dock, then they said "there goes 'NAME' on the zip line again, wait, can he even swim?" that would have done it.

Thought you could have used more filmic 24p cine/gamma settings. it kinda looked like a one chip camera, and I'm sure people have said, no white shirts! no biggie.

great job man. I really thought it all came together when he was in the water looking back and forth back and forth. It really turned on that point.

and when he hits the water with that brick, I got the proverbial chill down my spine.

mission accomplished!
 
Edgen I really liked it!!! STRONG SOLID STORY!!! But to me its the perfect DRAMA not horror. Its not a bad thing, actually its a Great thing!! You pulled of some very dramatic s@@@ and it worked in perfection!
Loved the score!!
Not sure about the sound though...sometimes I couldnt make out the dialogue, it would be the car or the score that would make a lot of noise and bump the sound levels way too high!
The acting was very strong especially your lead! The last scene when you cut to black then show him jump in is AMAZING!!! Probably gonna be one of the best shots in the fest!
The location was superb!!!
Is it ok that I found the scene with the guy falling with that pulley funny? Maybe that is the tragedy, he did something stupid/funny and ended up dead.
But man..when your guy jumps in the water and cant decide who to choose....WOW that really made me feel it was real! I put myself in his shoes immediately!! very strong!!!!

Great Job!!!
 
FlintMI said:
SPOILER

He was dressed up at the end because he just got back from the funeral and couldn't stand it anymore, right?

I could not tell that was his buddy on the zip line. If we knew the friends 'NAME' when he came on the dock, then they said "there goes 'NAME' on the zip line again, wait, can he even swim?" that would have done it.

Thought you could have used more filmic 24p cine/gamma settings. it kinda looked like a one chip camera, and I'm sure people have said, no white shirts! no biggie.

great job man. I really thought it all came together when he was in the water looking back and forth back and forth. It really turned on that point.

and when he hits the water with that brick, I got the proverbial chill down my spine.

mission accomplished!
Click to expand...

Thank you flint! Chills down the spine is what I wanted. I've been getting some fantastic feedback here, and yours most definitely helps. Yes. BW is exhibition because I was using a consumer camera. White shirts... Ya know, I'll now know next time. I did however; want 'john' to wear a white dress shirt. Reason is.. How many people actually wear white dress shirt? I've mostely encountered those in the waiting tables, bar tenders, etc. I wanted the audience to feel as thouh he's just another dude out in the world working a dead end job and comes home to his buddies place just to annoy him and drink beer. What a life eh?

as for the zipline... the 'super long and boring' extended cut (which I will release after the fest) probably helps solidify him more as a drugged out buddy just trying to have a bit of fun. Which, I had a friend like that.. "Hey, can i borrow this thanks. i'll be back...."

I'm glad the 'what to do next' aspect worked for you. Makes you wonder. Thank you for the review.

/j
 
VersuS said:
Edgen I really liked it!!! STRONG SOLID STORY!!! But to me its the perfect DRAMA not horror. Its not a bad thing, actually its a Great thing!! You pulled of some very dramatic s@@@ and it worked in perfection!
Loved the score!!
Not sure about the sound though...sometimes I couldnt make out the dialogue, it would be the car or the score that would make a lot of noise and bump the sound levels way too high!
The acting was very strong especially your lead! The last scene when you cut to black then show him jump in is AMAZING!!! Probably gonna be one of the best shots in the fest!
The location was superb!!!
Is it ok that I found the scene with the guy falling with that pulley funny? Maybe that is the tragedy, he did something stupid/funny and ended up dead.
But man..when your guy jumps in the water and cant decide who to choose....WOW that really made me feel it was real! I put myself in his shoes immediately!! very strong!!!!

Great Job!!!
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JOhn/Versus... :) Drama? yes. I can see that. But to me, drowning is my biggest fear in life and no matter how good of a swimmer you are... there's only so much that the human body can do. Anyone here with a pool, jump and and tread water with your hands up. It's frakin' tough! (I can only do it for 9 minutes before i really give in)

Zipline hit!! YES!! YOu are supposed to laugh. It is a very jarring thud, and after a bit, I wanted you to be confused on whether to keep laughing or to sit back and say.. "F.. me.."

"the jump"... Yep. funny story behind that. Tape footage actually crapped out during that entire sequence. That short bit was all I had that was usable. I have extensive cutaways of him jumping in and even my other brother jumping from a distance which will be shown in the 'alt ending' at the end of the fest.

Thank you so much for the review. I really appreciate it.

oh.. glad you dig the score :)

/j
 
Acting: Solid throughout. Very natural.
Script: Great script! Seriously.
Direction: Handheld added realism, worked well with performances, nicely building.
Music: Super, very film like, would love to work with you. Best for me. What keyboard sound module you using? Blew me away, very emotional.
Editing: Tight/ flowed.
Lighting: Natural.
Loved: The characters and concept, the use of background action (you knew something was going to happen.) Loved when he first came out of the water coughing, thought something nasty was going to happen, splash Foley, second leads reaction (paced beautifully), build towards the end.
Hated: Some of the voice audio,
Overall: A GREAT film!
Edgen, your one of the heroe's for me in this whole fest.
Top work!
J.P.
 
Edgen:

You produced in your story something very difficult to achieve. You created a credible dilemma for your protagonist, and its emotional impact was spot-on. And of course, the score was incredible. That last "hook" is still playing in my mind as I contemplate his "choice." Haunting.
 
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