Edgen - "Brown Waters"

Edgen

Edgen

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"Brown Waters"





edgen_bw_poster.jpg



"How long can you tread?"

- Official Website -

- Now Sinking -
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"Brown Waters - By: Justin"


A young man relaxes in the peaceful serenity of nature before he heads out for
"the biggest date of his life" with his GF. (soon to be fianace') His two best friends
join him in his last moments as a 'free man' as they watch
on as he agrees to a challenging bet of treading water.

"30 Minutes. ...Hands above the water."






(Brown Waters is an Exhibition Film only and cannot be judged in the DVX contest.)
((BW was shot with a consumer grade Samsung SC-D6550 - Compact DuoCam))
(However; crit and comments are most definitely welcome!)
CRITIQUES::

"So far this has been one the weakest entry I've watched."
 -Noct
 Senior Member




"...You produced in your story something very difficult to achieve.
You created a credible dilemma for your protagonist, and its
emotional impact was spot-on. And of course, the score was
incredible. That last "hook" is still playing in my mind as I
contemplate his "choice." Haunting."

"...Of the shorts I've viewed so far, this one, above all others,
clearly produced characters that were completely believeable as
real people. Also, unlike any other short I've seen so far, I
really cared about your characters, and was affected emotionally
by both your story and your characters."
 -Rezfactor
 Senior Member




 "Great soundtrack and camera work, man!!!"
"You know, this is the ONE film that has sort of fermented and
preyed upon my mind over time. I keep coming back to the final
scene and I'm struck with such a powerful emotion of ineffable
sadness. That says a lot because this was the first film I
watched. After all the others, this one keeps coming back to me."
 -Mark Johnson
 Senior Member




"I Liked Lakeside Better .... "
 -MOVIE MASTER
 Senior Member




"The strongest part of your film is the story."
 -Geoff_R
 Senior Member




"...when he hits the water with that brick, I got the proverbial
chill down my spine. mission accomplished!"
 -FlintMI
 Senior Member




"STRONG SOLID STORY!!! You pulled of some very dramatic s@@@ and it
worked in perfection! Loved the score!!"
 -VersuS
 Senior Member




"Music: Super, very film like, would love to work with you. Best
for me. What keyboard sound module you using? Blew me away, very
emotional."
 -jpbankesmercer
 Director Mod





"It was a just a good movie. It made me so sad, and I think that is
the way the character felt as well."
 -msconce
 Senior Member




"Very subtle direction. And the film got through my defenses. Good
stuff."
 -Paul Coleman
 Senior Member




"I loved your set-up in this film. An average day turned into a
nightmare. It was so simple and simply told. You didn't force
anything. It just unfolded at a natural pace.
...The music was soft, subtle and haunting."
 -TheatreGuy
 Senior Member




"...I loved the torment that you brought into this film. A haunting
horror flick of a different kind! A REAL kind."
 -TheatreGuy
 Senior Member



"Story had a powerful conclusion and nice score and some nice editing there."
Jack Daniel Stanley
Mr. Excitable



"This was an interesting piece. My friends and I had a lot of fun watching this.
Very offbeat characters. Funny voices, motivaions and relationships.
...The humor at the begining sharply contrasts with the sad, weightiness
at the end. Masterfully done.I think it'll stay with us for a while. Pretty
memorable and unique tale."
mentatDUKE
Senior Member




"though the score was solid & effective, & didn’t try to rule the film
… a compliment considering the film was made by a composer."
Envision
Script Wrangler




"Some of the best performances in the fest. As Jack pointed out,
they're very natural. Captured the type of guys perfectly."
sean90291
Senior Member




"...your story kind of lost me."
"...and why should we care?"
Lingothree
Senior Member




"I think this was kind of unfocused. Meaning I wasn't sure
what was going on. It looked pretty bad as well.
the music was great though."
conrad_johnson
Senior Member




"this had an interesting idea behind it. And a good
moment of suspense."
EJ Pennypacker
Senior Member




"Great quality. The actors did a nice job, too."
gwmesler
Member




"The Score: Worked very well in this film. It was very subtle
during the beginning while he was treading the water which
matched perfectly, and then during the end, it was very powerful,
really helped with the emotion. It was a good match."
macintosh
Senior Member




"I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed this film. I was
looking forward to this ever since I saw the poster and I was not let down."
griffin
Senior Member




"Love the setting and the story ..
...man what a choice to make ..who do you save ?"
arielman
Senior Member




"I really liked the idea of this but it fell short to me"
Michael_Petro
Senior Member




"That was very emotional and the music did help it."
Steve_Arm
Senior Member




"good story. sad story..."
kimko
Senior Member




"acting was too acted. lighting is key, natural light is fine
but make sure you dont blow out the image.... story
was eh... needed more explaination... lplus the title kinda
doesnt fit.... other that that... we need to get you a dvx dude"
hvxabuser
Senior Member

​



​
*Update*
10.01.06
"Brown Waters" is now showing. Please visit this page to start the crits

*Update*
10.01.06
"Brown Waters" has been officially uploaded! Enjoy my lil' short and give some feedback. It's the only way to get better.

*Update*
09.19.06
I really screwed up. I go back to open up a 'prefinal' version of the film and I notice something is highly familiar... My score is the exact same tune as another 12 minute short film I just completed. Actually, I scored Brown Waters before this one, but since the entire soundtrack has been set, I'll have to go back and come up with another melody for my own. Which... I guess that happens when you work on multiple projects at once. Sometimes I think i'm loosing my own head. On top of redoing the score, I wanted to add another final scene to tie the movie together. So... I broke my own cardinal rule of "LOCKING" the picture. Now I've got to go back and re-adjust everything to make the music fit properly. One thing after the next, but without a doubt, I will have it ready to be submitted. Exhibition submit that is. yee haw. go team me. :\
/j

*Update*
09.13.06
OK, I got it CHOPPED down to 6 minutes exactly. Once I started hacking the dialog, could easily hack out all the rest. Which, the audio/dialog/acting wasn't the best in the world because I used the mic from the Camera. Not to mention the camera itself had a malfunction causing the video and audio to really pop and go out of whack. But.. alas, i finished the score to the film as well last night. It was kind of a weird experience scoring my own video, but ... as Hulk says... "I think I liked it..." I'm sure I could have taken a little more time to score it and really nail it down, but there's just waay too much time involved and I think it's 'effective'. Wish I had an orchestra at my finger tips. Scoring it was also amazing in that I didn't have to deal with changes and re-writes. I'm my own boss and what goes is what I want. I can get as big and epic as I want. I'm definitely looking forward to making more movies and writing the soundtrack. I still need to do the final audio sweetening and add in a few more sound FX here and there.

Cutting this thing down was hard to do and I wanted to keep sooo much stuff. I think i'm going to have a 'See the End at the Website" at the end of the movie. (after the competition is over). I wanted to keep it open ended, but at the same time I wanted to extend it. So... after the competition is over, I'm going to add the end to the final video. It has a small VFX shot that requires some After Effects work that really puts the film into a 'creepy' level.

"Brown Waters" is still the title and regardless of the funny giggles it will get, I'm sticking to it. If a studio wanted to pick it up and make it into a feaure I'll be happy to change it. Till then.. tough kaboodles.
/j


*Update*
08.25.06
BTW... do you see the line going across the image above? Take special note of that. It's something that will make everyone here jealous. (unless you grew up in the woods like I have)
/j

*Update*
08.24.06
Sitting at 10 minutes now. Time to chop it in half. No pun intended. Upload a few stills. Audio was captured from the camera, so of course it sounds like ass. Perhaps I'll ADR the longer version, but since I can't fly my cast in from kentucky, i'm funct. oh well. At least I'm making do with what I have.

Ok. I Gladly accept my own offer to give up the HVX that I have already won to another participant. I've got two of them anyway. (j/k JDS... www.edgen.com/goldenpineapple is the closest I have to owning a camera.)
/j


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Still 01
edgen_bw_still_01.jpg


Still 02
edgen_bw_still_02.jpg


Still 03
edgen_bw_still_03.jpg








Cast:
Jared Durban
edgen_bw_still_jared.jpg


John Stumpf
edgen_bw_still_john.jpg


Seth Moore
edgen_bw_still_seth.jpg

​

'till the next update me padres!

Sponsored by "Miller Light Beer".

word.
/j





*Update*
08.22.06
Well, Despite all the crap footage I got from the stupid camera... The edit for the piece is now sitting in at 10 minutes and i'm liking what I've got so far. If I did include all the shots I've done for the film, it would probably be around 12. Cutting this punk down to a 6 minute film is doable, but i think i'll loose my story... Not to mention half the dialog sounds like arse anyway. SOOO.. if I do submit this movie into the competition, i will most likely score it as if it were a music video with no dialog. Then, if you wanted to watch the full video, you choose to do so.

Regardless, I'm doing another film with another DVX user so its not the last you'll see from me!!.. muuuhahahahah

/j






*Grr.. Update*
Footage ended up being jacked up for half the filming due to a malfunction in the camera, so I'm going to do the best I can to piece together something. My hole/latrine just seems to be getting deeper and deeper.

/j

***********


"LAKESIDE"

Also, be sure to check out my other film in which I was the co-director/editor/composer/sound/vfx/pa, "Lakeside" which was a collaborative effort with a fellow DVX user, Avatuar (Matt Thompson)



​


LASTLY...

and, here's a link to all my DVX Horrorfest OST scores:
(yes... my brain is officially fried)
*DVX Horror Fest Music* 36 mb

"R.E.M." by Norm Sanders (Envision) & Ryan Walters (235 Studios),
"Memories" by Alex DePew & Jason Sheridan,
"5B" by Aram Bauman,
"Dead Inside" by Ben Sliker (Hybrid Theory) & Brad Mate,
&
 "Brown Waters" by Justin R. Durban (Edgen),
"Lakeside" by Matt Thompson (Avatuar) and Justin R. Durban (Edgen).

Happy Listening!


****

...and no laughing about the name. You pervs...
 
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Nice pic ... I would suggest a title change, however. I know there is already a Dark Water but you might get out the Thesaurus and cycle through "murky" etc.

Reason being ... and yes this is coming from a guy with a short named "Bone Hand" ... but "Brown Water" immediately puts my sophmoric mind into Beavis and Butthead territory and makes me think of scattological things that make me giggle.

Also "brown" is not very threatening or extreme, like black, white, red ... brown is the color of courdroy trousers and dirt ... not horror ...

again the image is evocative and I like where I think you are going with this ... but the title is a no go for me.

EDIT: I now see that "waters" is plural ... that helps some as it definitely puts "body of water" in my head a little more rather than a toilet bowl ... but still would vote for a change in title.

EDIT 2: Oh and great log line. Perfect. I see co-eds in cut offs with a famous low angle underwater shot from jaws as something lurks beneath. You Gotta go all out and rent an underwater housing -- that would be soooo kick ass. You might have to cheat the underwater shots in a swinming pool if the water is really brown and then make the water brown in post... you'd have a lot more control that way ... but underwater shots would definately set you apart right there.
 
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nice pun ... and glad I'm not the only 11 year old 34 year old around here :)

though I guess you are an 11 year old 22 year old ... but you get what I mean :thumbsup:

Justin ... if this is less than how you hoped your thread would start ... ask mod to delete the thread it and repost with a new title (since I don't think you can change the title of a thread) ... I'll come back and say all the good parts again.
 
ya, you are probably right, and I thought about this long and hard. (no pun intended there either) :)

I debated a few other titles, and the story itself doesn't really lend itself to a horror film at first so for the longest time, you are thinking, "wtf" is horror about this?

I was going to call it 'treading' and perhaps that what i'll name it.

Ok.. "Brown Waters" is now, "Treading"

I dunno, I may change the title again once it gets closer to the end. but, This is one of two of my entries into this festival so I suppose it doesn't really matter just yet.

As for a 'bad start' in the thread? ha!! I ain't scared :) Any publicity is good publicity.


/j
 
OK cool.

I still don't think "treading" nails it though.

Its great in the tag line because you have whole thought tied to it, namely ... eventually the killer will get you ...

But "treading water" sounds like an Adam Sandler movie, meaning a slacker movie, somebody that's avoiding taking on responsibilities or something ... again, not scary or forboding ...

I think you should stick with your original idea .... Brown Waters (I believe) was meant to suggest that there was something hidden that you couldn't see because the water was dark and it was gonna get you ... I think you can say that without saying Brown or Dark (since Dark is taken) ...

Since I'm not sure if I'm entering yet, and I just have some disjointed images and a vague theme and story at this point, I'm playing with titles a lot ... in fact I have a list that is 65 titles long ... keep playing with it ... it's gotta have some sensee of forboding IMHO.

I think a good horror title should compel you to look behind that door even though (or because) you suspec there is something terrifying on the other side of it.

You read Justin's title ... you are strangely compelled ... slowly you click on the .mov file ... there's no turning back now .... why oh why did you want to see "AQUA MASSACRE AT BROWN CREEK" Arrgggggghhheee! Ok I'm joking about that title but you feel me dog.
 
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hey what happened to this post:
Larry R said:
Besides it's just Jack, everyone ignores what he says anyway :evil: :grin:
Click to expand...
I appreciate if some Mod was looking out for me ... but insults between Larry and I don't count :laugh:
 
Actually I removed it because in the time I wrote it, you had replied again and it just lost it's momentum....

Don't worry, I'm not getting soft or anything...I'm always up for a good insult bantering with ya Jack :)
 
Jack Daniel Stanley said:
nice pun ... and glad I'm not the only 11 year old 34 year old around here :)

though I guess you are an 11 year old 22 year old ... but you get what I mean :thumbsup:

Justin ... if this is less than how you hoped your thread would start ... ask mod to delete the thread it and repost with a new title (since I don't think you can change the title of a thread) ... I'll come back and say all the good parts again.
Click to expand...

aww... now i feel like an ass. Edgen, good luck! i look forward to seeing improvement from herofest!!! I'd imagine it would be pretty hard to shoot yourself in the water!
 
No no no you crazy fool. :)

I didn't mean to say you were being an ass at all.

I think you and I were both looking out for Justin, but that fact not withstanding, two guys saying his title sounded like dooky water was probably no his first choice on how to start his thread off, that's all.

But on the other hand ... the dooky discussion has generated a ton of posts in a short time ... I bet you people will be coming back to this thread just to see what he comes up with (unless he sticks with Treading Water)
 
Yeah. This is why I thought thread starting this early was a bad idea.

It'd be a bunch of discussion about other things.

But, it was still hilarious. The poop thing didn't even cross my mind when I read the title.
 
Hurmm... Maybe I should join the crowd of "Untitled" for the moment? :)

Or.. "Doody Water"

ya, that works. :)

edgen_dw.jpg


/j
 
I'll be happy to make a "Doody Water" desktop wallpaper if you like. :)

This was a shot back at my parents home back in Kentucky. And now.. I live in CA. Stupid move eh? :)

here's looking off the backporch.

home_backyard.jpg
 
dude looks like a big place ...

getcherself two real actors and whisk them away to Kentucky for a week to shoot your short this summer, cast the rest local.
 
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