DVX Short film - The FIRST

Safari Joe

Safari Joe

I loved it! The script was great and the camera work was nice. the sound was a little off but that may have been due to the format. The ending was rather clumsy, you may want to redo it. However, I still loved it. You go dude !!
 
great work! Really well written. Just like safarijoe said, the sound was a bit off, and spiked pretty high, but that could've been the format. Golf clap!
 
I thought this was very good and the AUDIO was indeed brutal on the senses. The talent was first rate; very believable and well done (The woman was average I thought). The lighting was superb; very well done and a nice mix of tempatures. Subjectively, I think this could be told in half the time and an accompanying score would be nice. MOre camera coverage would have been nicer as well.

But really; bravo. First rate.
 
Great job brandar. I agree with the audio, but the story had me glued. I kept waiting for the end to show the old man's frozen face, a la Jack Nicolson in the Shining...(but that's just me) :grin:
 
I thought the two male actors were great - lots of space and suspense in the delivery. I wasn't enthused by the female actor. Perhaps she would have come across better if camera was close up on her lines. I'm assuming that the sound could have greatly benefitted from lav mics. The same mics and closeup shots on the woman might have given her more intensity (like the men had). I'm a newbie to sound so Im using your submission as a subjective case study. I think it was great. I loved those close ups on Cy's eyes. Very intense. I'm also a bit preoccupied with David Mamet's camera/direction style lately, so I think it would be interesting to see more back and forth cuts within the dialogue the two men had. I think it might have pushed the intensity even futher.
earon
 
I liked the story a lot. I hated Sia (spelling?) at first but i almost felt bad for him at the end haha. Ending was little off beat just when he was laughing. I still like it though.. good job. There were some nice shots and good god lighting also...
 
thanks

thanks

thanks for you comments. I am aware of the sound. This is just a rough cut. Derek, editor for A Gallon of Gas has put the scenes on their timeline, but hasn't corrected the sound yet. Also, the credits and ending haven't been edited yet. We will trim the film a bit and fix some of the glitches as well as introduce a score. But thanks for your comments, which are very supportful.
 
All that has needed to be said, has been said. Good work. Excellent first piece.
 
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