Dirt

jasonthewho said:
This is a cool stylized flick. At the beginning, the young guy's dumbness seemed a little hard to buy. And while I'm not fundamentally against the larger than life overacting of the young guy, the old guy is so realistic, that they're too disparate. If they both were big, or both small, either would have worked.

But the reveal of the killed daughter was epically awesome. Brilliant filmmaking there. Made the movie for me.

And I'm glad you didn't let him kill himself. So many short films end in suicide, it gets tiring.
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Thanks for the critique! Yeah I'm definitely seeing more of the issue between their separation now, but to be honest with you all-- the "overacting" really only became this apparent in the 6 minute cut (this isn't an excuse for the 6 minute version, more of a recommendation for the 12 minute version)-- because you don't get to see the emotional transitions and build-ups on the younger actors part. So while I agree that his performance does get out of proportion here in the 6 minute cut, in the 12 minute cut, the performance is much more paced, so you get to see him build up to each one of these scenes--it works much better.

And about the ending-- yeah, its funny because its very similar to a shot in my first short film, except in the first one--he does it. :) I was working out the plot of this film and just talking it out aloud with someone (my dad or a friend, can't remember) and when I get to the end I say "And then the older guy throws him the revolver" and the person listening to me says "and he kills himself!?" and I turned it around and thought of the new ending on the spot because I didn't want the audience to be able to predict as well as whoever I was talking to, so at that moment I changed the script and said "no, the gun is unloaded, now he's stuck with the weight of the guilt." Haha, just a funny little writer's method story.
 
Looking at he screen shots in the beginning got me excited to see this film. It was a fun, different style which I really like. I do agree with the ADR being a little loud, and maybe some some lines that weren't carried out that well, but that could have been the ADR. It's hard to react in ADR. Other then that, I was pulled in the whole time and really like this peace. Great job. :)
 
I liked the story a lot more than the execution on this one. I found the ADR to be very distracting, especially in 'Tom's' case. His overacting just about killed it for me. I didn't feel his vocal emotions matched what was on the screen. The old man set a pretty good tone and his ADR was much better. Was there a specific reason you couldn't do production sound?

Another distraction right at the beginning was when the young guy said the sun's going down and he pointed stage left which would have been the south as we can SEE the sun setting BEHIND him in the west.

Now, for the good bits: I loved the surreal setting. Very twilight-zoney. This guy appears to be in his own personal hell, doomed to 'live' this scene over and over...obviously the reason he COULDN'T commit suicide. This really had the feel of a theater production and I think it would translate wonderfully to the stage. It was obvious right away that this was green screen but it played very well due to its surreality hitting all the right notes.
 
Blaine said:
I liked the story a lot more than the execution on this one. I found the ADR to be very distracting, especially in 'Tom's' case. His overacting just about killed it for me. I didn't feel his vocal emotions matched what was on the screen. The old man set a pretty good tone and his ADR was much better. Was there a specific reason you couldn't do production sound?

Another distraction right at the beginning was when the young guy said the sun's going down and he pointed stage left which would have been the south as we can SEE the sun setting BEHIND him in the west.

Now, for the good bits: I loved the surreal setting. Very twilight-zoney. This guy appears to be in his own personal hell, doomed to 'live' this scene over and over...obviously the reason he COULDN'T commit suicide. This really had the feel of a theater production and I think it would translate wonderfully to the stage. It was obvious right away that this was green screen but it played very well due to its surreality hitting all the right notes.
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Its really interesting how rough the performance rubs some people the wrong way and others perfectly. I've had others who have watched the film (just filmmaking peers) say that the younger actor nearly had them crying, while some here can't watch him whatsoever. Very interesting... and very strange. Its also strange that you thought Tom's dialogue was the "off" ADR because his is the one that we could line up perfectly while the older man's had to be chopped up syllable by syllable in order to fit as close as it did.

When we were finishing the ADR, it was the first time we caught the pointing in the first scene. I was also incredibly distracted by it, but everyone else who watched it basically said "I didn't even notice that, and now that I do, I don't even think it matters, its more like hes just looking up at how dark the sky is getting, people do that all the time." And that was like 6 production-oriented people sitting around. Haha. I completely agree with you though, I find it awkward as well.

And as for why we couldn't use production sound. Essentially reason was 1) it was actually raining lightly for the entire shoot. In order to shoot (even in my backyard green screen set) we had to set up a canopy above the "set". This caused the raindrops to get amplified. This, combined with the sort of wind-tunnel effect going on with sound underneath the canopy...and the fact that we were shooting in the suburbs in a backyard (..so, imagine lawnmowers, dogs, cars, people walking up and down the street 20 feet away) basically made it an audio nightmare.

Anyway, thanks for the critique! I appreciate hearing what to improve upon. :)
 
KOHR said:
Its also strange that you thought Tom's dialogue was the "off" ADR because his is the one that we could line up perfectly while the older man's had to be chopped up syllable by syllable in order to fit as close as it did.
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It's not the matching I found 'off' but the tone/delivery/emotion...

KOHR said:
And as for why we couldn't use production sound. Essentially reason was 1) it was actually raining lightly for the entire shoot. In order to shoot (even in my backyard green screen set) we had to set up a canopy above the "set". This caused the raindrops to get amplified. This, combined with the sort of wind-tunnel effect going on with sound underneath the canopy...and the fact that we were shooting in the suburbs in a backyard (..so, imagine lawnmowers, dogs, cars, people walking up and down the street 20 feet away) basically made it an audio nightmare.
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Ah...that makes sense, then.
 
Blaine- Ah, sorry I see what you mean now. Yeah, I'm definitely going to attempt to avoid such a histrionic performance next time around. I can only take responsibility for the performance's failing to reach about half of the audience because I told him to make it BIG. Like you said above, the green screen is supposed to be apparent from the first shot (not the technical execution of it, but rather the fact that this place isn't earthly, or real) ...in the same way, the performances are supposed to be antithetical, extreme in their intensity (young man) and in their stoicism (old man), just as the sky is extremely light blue and orange behind the older man, and blood red behind the young man. I guess what I'm trying to say, its all on purpose, so I can't say it was a flaw in the production, but rather a flaw in the original concept by me because of how 60% of audiences react to the stagey type performance. So it is too bad that the performance type is not sitting with you (or several others) but I can only say that, theres a reason that the establishing shot looks like a stage. :)
 
Although I was involved in the production of this piece, the post-production and final product were a complete surprise. I actually really enjoyed being able to see how the story turned out with the editing and visual effects finished. Kinda happy I missed that aspect to film making on this one!

And to comment on what others have been criticizing...Who is to say that the young bandit's character is an over-actor in the first place. A con man would be the first to try and "act" his way out of this situation. I feel the BIG performance by Tom really solidifies the emotions for the audience, especially in such a short edit of the film.

The sound production in the second flash-back is just amazing. The choice of utilizing the two separate tones for Tom in the narration was so unique. It worked perfectly.

For such a young film maker, I see bigger and better things in the future. Thank you DIRT for adding one more nick in Kasey's bed post.
 
the sound of the digging at the opening is very well done.

But maybe it stopped to "abruptly" ? Maybe only the sound of sand falling that continioud a little bit ? Or some echo effect to make it not stop like the way german soldiers speak :p

I hear differencte between the two voices... Or is that just me ?
But it looks a bit ADR-ed... It's ok but here and there some small lipsync isues.

Nice shots.

In a way I like the story
 
dre83- Thanks, in the 12 minute cut I went back in and re-leveled and matched the opening digging/dirt because i was noticing some weird stuff going on too. I'm glad that you thought it was well done because that wasn't even my sound guys..it was just me trying to get some foley on there before I uploaded it haha.

There were 2 different mics used by our sound guys to record the ADR, ones they thought fit the individual voices of the actors best. Yeah, ADR'ing became a b**** because there was a lot of stuttering in the line delivery as well as the older actor having very little lip movement on some words...just because he naturally doesn't open his mouth very wide. The mustache didn't help either. So his lines are all actually lined up perfectly with the production sound, but they just don't look perfect in some places because he is like a ventriloquist haha.
 
KOHR said:
dre83- Thanks, in the 12 minute cut I went back in and re-leveled and matched the opening digging/dirt because i was noticing some weird stuff going on too. I'm glad that you thought it was well done because that wasn't even my sound guys..it was just me trying to get some foley on there before I uploaded it haha.

There were 2 different mics used by our sound guys to record the ADR, ones they thought fit the individual voices of the actors best. Yeah, ADR'ing became a b**** because there was a lot of stuttering in the line delivery as well as the older actor having very little lip movement on some words...just because he naturally doesn't open his mouth very wide. The mustache didn't help either. So his lines are all actually lined up perfectly with the production sound, but they just don't look perfect in some places because he is like a ventriloquist haha.
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That doesn't mind if it was accidently or not. You know the paintings of Rembrand, Van Gogh etc...were also "accidently"...

And ADR is not easy no, even not for actors... Even not for actors with 5789767860786767068730434068706604308676786486 lightyears of experience in acting, but not in ADR.
 
REHov520 said:
not tryin' to be a dick but lightyears are a measure of distance not time
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it's both... because when you move in distance, you move in time...
:2vrolijk_08:

Maybe good for the next fest ? "distance fest" :2vrolijk_08:
(to stupid, I know, whaaaaa)
 
Sorry for the delay in getting to this one.

Really good job on this film. The style was uber-cool and worked great for me. Yes, there could have
been tweaks here and there, but show me a film that doesn't need that. The ADR was actually working for me
too, as I see it as part of the overall style. I also liked the score & sound design. Hat's off to the team.

Great job!
 
Thanks Zaza!

I'm glad that it pretty much hit its marks all around for you! :D I'm always glad to hear that the film's style resonates with at least a portion of the audience!
 
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