Critique Please.

[Shaneuk]

This is my first assignment for collage. At the moment it is only a draft. The subject is 'Moments like today' Basically the same as the Vimeo group except we have to use a song from a selection of 10 Artists. The assignment is meant to an easy piece to get us used to how the assignment project. My lecturer has suggested we do a 'location piece.'

I basically just need a load of critique to make this better, because it is fully crap right now.

 

[allupons]

I think you are being pretty harsh on yourself. I think it is pretty good and the shot at 1:14 is downright amazing. I think the biggest issue with the video is it is a bit obsessed with racking focus for no good reason. I may look to emphasize more shots that are nice to look at more on the grounds of being framed well, etc as opposed to simply racking focus every other shot. Also, it appears that most of the pans are somewhat jittery, but this could simply be a result of a poor tripod head or something to that extent. Generally speaking though it tells a good deal about your location visually and is far from "crap" as you put it, in my humble opinion.