CONTAINMENT by Chris Keaton

[Russell Moore]

I always like your writing. (specifically "A Clockwork Darkened" great dark stuff)
I liked the set up in the beginning, making a personal connection with Cord, with the wife and the Father's ashes. Just would like to see it comeback around and pay off somehow. I like the idea you noted in an earlier post about Cord being on the phone with his wife. That would be a great personal connection to come back to.

You create some good visuals, I also felt some of Cord's dialogue at the end feels a little forced. But I like the idea as a whole.

Creeping Death? Is this a nod to Metallica? If not, I like it either way.

I love the tension and great visual setup of the end.

Behind his hand he spots thousands of shooting stars falling
from the sky. (I could really see this and it looks awesome)


ALIEN PA SYSTEM
Sterilization in 5..4...


A cacophony of insectile chitters, alien screams, and other
terrifying noises emit from the containment ship. ( good scary tension)


ALIEN PA SYSTEM
3...2...1...
FLASH

open ended and I think it works really well this way.

Overall I enjoyed the read.

 

[Chris_Keaton]

Thanks! By the way 'A Clockwork Darkened' is in preproduction. I hope they pull it off....and pull it off well.

 

[Craighoit]

A Clockwork Darkened. Great title. I'm going to have to take a read!

 

[Russell Moore]

Thanks! By the way 'A Clockwork Darkened' is in preproduction. I hope they pull it off....and pull it off well.

That's great news. I'd like to see the final product. I hope they do your script justice.