COMPLETED - WORST CASE SENARIO, Avatuar

[taubkin]

the crane is a POS! the only reason I used it in the park was to establish him coming to the park and sitting down we didn't get that shot the previous saturday and the white shirt you see him wearing in the film was stolen!!! AHHH!!! so simple solution wear a a jacket with a similar white shirt underneath take it off and tada were in the park lol I was really rushed
Im giving the crane to my construction buddy see if he can't make it work! Taubkin as far as editing any pointers on how and when to cut? I am new to this.

The problems I see are with the cuts, moving them some frames either way. The best way to cut is to use the movement of the actors to do it, it could be a head leaning forward, a reaction, or a look outside the frame (a classic cut), well there are many tricks, but the most important is to actually feel it for the timing. I felt your cutting was a little bumpy. I also dislik some shot options you used in the editing, like the first shot wich is a crane that starts nowhere and doesn't have time to finish porpperly. Pretty weird, but probably it didn't work due to continuity mistakes, in wich case you are just better of without it. The shot in the park, you are really too far away from him, and that shot could just be a static shot, because the distance makes the change in height have very little effect on perspective.

I also think your actors are wearing too much makeup. Stage actors can't do their own makeup, hahaha Serious, that girl is hot, but her cheek is just a full stop whiter than her shoulders! and the guys are looking like they came from a "queer eye" episode... - but that's a personal taste.

Anyway, I'm not really saying this to make you feel bad, I can see you have done a lot right in this, so really, good work!

Cheers!:beer:

 

[aman-s-t]

good movie. good transitions, pacing, pretty much what everyone else said. How many people worked on this short (crew). The only thing I would've improved, would have been the bum. he needed to look more like a ... bum. i don't quite know how to say it, but i hope you understand.

 

[avatuar]

LoL Taubkin the girl is the only one wearing make up (to my knoledge anyay) haha I see what your sayin about the cuts now very sensible I Think the cuts are static now. The crane ugh the crane! POS! As far as crew on this movie well I'm it... Camera man, lighting, sound. Had the occasional friend to hold boom. I was in charge of special effects I.E. smoking car lol. As far as shooting it was pretty much a one man show.

 

[soarprod]

Acting especially in the first scene needs help - there is zero chemestry between them - I blame the girl more than the guy. Interesting concept - the bum needs to be dirtier - He is way too clean. His acting is also a little over the top. I would use some VO of the guy to explain his thoughts. To the story, why should we care about their relationship? What is so important about it? Convince the audience that we should want him to get her. CHARACTER!

 

[Shadow]

I think most reply gave you a lot of feedback and I think its a great first effort too (from what I read) and I enjoy looking at your film, maybe not perfect, but very well done first movie. Keep doing it.