Commercial I directed and edited, shot on the 5D

I liked the concept, but it felt a tad long. Maybe leave out the revisiting mud pie bit? Other than that, well done!
 
Yes the concept is good. But maybe to shorten it a lil bit would be to take out the fart jar joke and just skip to "But, when Bobby was an adult Bobby found Carwoo" that way it skips the fart joke so when he was a teenager it could go straight to him being an adult.
 
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Thanks for the comments. I agree that the fart/jar sequence is a bit much, though I sorta like the callback to the mud. Overall I would personally have preferred to make this a bit shorter, but the The client was pushing for a longer cut so this is were it went. For my own personal cut, I'm probably going to bring it down to 30 seconds or so. Thanks again for the comments,

Ron Small
www.swayproductions.com
 
Really well shot and edited. I think the length works and I dig the camera movement and I like how the serious music and VO contrasts with the absurdity of what's going on screen. What lenses did you use? Also, checked out your website. Really dig all the commercials, especially the car crashing one.
 
Yea I love the callback to the mud. The fart joke adds nothing and kinda changes the mood from funny to a bit gross (my opinion)
Great spot though.
 
Yeah, if you keep the fart joke, add a green smog effect, give it a visual, something to take it up a notch, other than that it was really funny
 
What the others said ....did not expect the end !

One thing that bothered me was the slight overexpusure in the opening shots ...it look to hot as in total white.
But good job !
 
Thanks everyone for the comments and suggestions. The primary lens used was a Nikon 50 mm, 1.8 I believe, which we stuck on the Canon 5D with a Nikon adaptor ring. We also used a Nikon 35mm 2.8 and a Nikon 28 mm I believe for some of the wider shots, like the opening job shot that moves down into the garden.

Ron Small
www.swayproductions.com
 
What made you choose Nikon lenses over Canon? I just recently purchased a 5D and have been borrowing a Canon 50 mm from a friend in order to get some practice in. I'm still in the process of deciding which lenses to buy.
 
Dave,

The reason behind the brand choice is because I initially purchased a Letus Adaptor to use with my Sony EX1. I eventually sold the adaptor and purchased the 5D. As a result most of the lenses that myself and my DP have are Nikon lenses.
 
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