Charlie Bags An Alien - ProfD

I'm gonna throw in wiht the people complementing the opening and the song. I thought the song was actually quite well used throughout, in addition to being a nice piece of music.

My biggest problem was probably a combination of editing and acting. The editing in the beginning seemed like a lot of very quick, very uniform fades that really took me out of the storytelling. Also, it seemed like a few times the camera cut to actors who weren't quite acting yet, like when you catch a news anchor just before the teleprompter starts. With the possible exception of the girl at the bar, I never really felt like these people didn't know they were on camera--especially when they occasionally made eye contact with it.
 
Shaun Patrick said:
One thing did really bug me from an editing standpoint--your overuse of dissolves. This is especially true during the opening scene. Every cut is an additive dissolve or a fade to black creating a very jumpy feeling. Straight cuts, I feel, would've probably worked a lot better. Usually a dissolve or a fade to black is used to imply the elapsing of time.
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I wanted to comment on the cinematography too -- the overuse of zooming bugged me. It felt kinda "wedding-video-like". It doesn't bother me to see it used for dramatic effect, but when it's overused, it gets tired.

I thought the acting was a bit weak and fake. I didn't like the music, but I realize that's a personal taste thing... and I think the sound needed a lot of work -- not the music sound, but the OTHER sounds... dialogue was sometimes hard to hear or hard to understand (particular parts in the bar).

The gun at the end seemed really unrealistic to me.

I give you credit for putting forth the effort and hate to sound so harsh, but I just really didn't enjoy the film much. I understand what you've said about what you were trying to get across, but it didn't translate well in the six minutes you had.

Thanks for sharing it!
 
I dunno. Something seemed too blue about the night exteriors.

True, Michael Mann has a hard-on (pardon the phrase) for nighttime exteriors that have a blue sun, but it sorta put up a flag for me.

Didn't really kill the piece, but definately something that caught my eye.
 
Good job. The story was very unique, and obviously was a play on the local "flavor" of your hometown...

The framing and editing was awkward throughout. The dialogue was difficult to hear in the bar. I liked the original music.
 
hmm. briging Michael Mann into this just seems weird. this movie needs alot of help. the story was off and the sound too. Just something did not work. sorry.
 
ProfD,
I really liked the music. I love blues and the delta sound. (Also, a big time Dr. John fan)
I thought the newspaper was cool and everything you needed to know was there if you looked for it. It's amazing how many UFO encounters happen in backwater areas and how often mind altering substances (read booze and pot) are involved. Your story pointed this out.

I thought the C.A.P. tattoo on the back of her had was a bit heavy handed (no pun intended). I thought some of the actors' postioning in frame within the scenes felt a little contrived.

I also felt the zoom was overused. If you had used it a little more judiciously I think the overall effect would have been better. One other shooting choice bothered me a little and that was the scene between the teacher and the stoner. The rackover focus was too much for me. I found myself paying more attention to the effect than the story, especially since it was going from the stoner's face to the back of the teacher's head. I think a reverse shot might have made the interaction more interesting. The background sound in the bar made it hard to hear the dialogue.

I thought the idea of the alien strapped to the hood of the pickup was hilarious. I thought you told a story but could have set up the undercover agent better, perhaps by lingering on that part of the newspaper just a little longer because I didn't buy the payoff at the end the first time through.

The acting was uneven. A couple of the actors were funny and added the flavor you were going for while a couple others were stodgy. I complement you for doing this and seeing the project through is a reward in itself. Your next effort will be better for the things you learned on this one.
 
This was a little hard to follow but im thinking he shot the lady with the tattoo right? It totally felt like a 70s joint with the shots of the lady at the telescope. Reminded me of the old way of doing a cheesy glamour shot. It was kind of funny.
The biggest problem was bringing the shelby into the movie. After that, all i could think of was.. was that a real gt350? Then I thought about my old mustang I had and that I want to get another old one.
You should have done a Christie type movie featuring the car. :)
Anyway, this did make me laugh. Keep on fliming.
 
Filmmakers in Monroe, La.
Cool. I'm glad to hear your out here neighbor.

I liked the short it showcased a lot of talent. And I've been reading through a lot of the posts and I just wanted to say you did a great job, regardless. You set out to tell a comic story and you did so. And it worked. People laughed, I laughed.

One the whole I really liked the cinamatography. It didn't knock my sock s off or anything, but I think you have a great instinct for the storytelling.

One thing that bothered me was the stargazing scene's overt use of zoom between each of the characters once the aliens get there. It didn't seem appropriate. Although I loved the zoom effect used in the end of "Ocean's Twelve". [maybe it was a source of inspiration]

Some of the editing and pacing was a little hard to follow, but I think a lot of that will just come in time (learning more about Vegas and all that).

You should definitely post the longer cut after the festival. I'd love to get a chance to see the complete vision.
 
This one earned at least a couple extra points for the line, "this is not a low-budget science fiction film!!"
 
Hey ProfD!

I haven't read the other posts, so sorry if you get repeats!

I found a lot of humor in the piece. I had a couple of smiles and laughs.

Overall I did find it lacking though. The acting was verrrryyy uneven as was the audio. Great use of the score though. Great song, fit well with your piece.

There could have been a little more lighting. I know they were looking at a night sky and you seemed to want to focus on that, but WHERE were they looking at a night sky? That detail can be just as interesting. Its important to see the background, even if in shadow. Gives a sense of environment, and can help tremendously with mood.

Really good effort. Fun to watch!

-Robert
 
Great premise - a Cajun style alien romp will never get old :)

Loved the opening sequence with the newspaper, as well as the music.

I got quite a bit disoriented with the first scene, I think due to the numerous fades/dissolves/zooms whenever you cut from one character to another, as well as the lack of any establishing wide shots. I couldn't really tell where they were, or how time was passing.

And show us the alien next time! :)

Again, awesome idea. Can't wait to see the next iteration, especially if it's got the same brand of humor.

-Jared
 
I was very impressed by the opening of the film. I thought the newspaper clippings were a very nice touch...although I was distracted by the headline for "free rosters." I couldn't figure out whether that was an accidental typo or a purposefual stab at southern intelligence.

From there it all went downhill. The story was very disjointed, the acting was pretty bad, the cinematography was nothing special, and the editing was very distracting.

Interesting premise though. With some improvements, this could actually be a very entertaining film.
 
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