Canon 7D short film w/ emphasis on cinematography & editing! Need opinions!

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xzoticskillz

Member
Hi....I'm submitting this stylistic short film for a festival contest and need opinions/critiques on the effectiveness of the piece. I used a variety of elegant camera moves (including a motion controlled timelapse slider). In essence I wanted to bring to the table something of a nostalgic feel, an emotional suspension for the viewer. Tell me what you guys think.

Synopisis: A school project ironically sparks a revelation of self-discovery and wonder of a special place for a college student.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=I3z6n2-RY2g
 
It has some very attractive shots in it for sure. Though something I can't quite put my finger on gives it a bit of a 'video" look.

Not crazy about the conversation with the teacher being all OTS shots. Some singles would have broken it up a bit. Also the long bit of dialogue delivered by the teacher with his back to the camera. In principal it's OK to do that, but boy he delivers a LONG stretch of dialogue while he is the "dirty" part of the dirty over.

Does the contest allow use of unlicensed music?

Overall it plays a bit more like a DP reel than a short film.
 
What Gonzo said as well.
Your cinematic look needs to be tuned a little more, Looks too much like home video quality. Seems like at the beginning the whites looked a little too "dreamy".
Experiment with the color correction more or use Magic Bullet to get it done quick. I like the story but like Gonzo said, The teacher talks a little too much and I think you can also take a bit more out to make it a true short film. A little way too much for the "adventure out" in the park part. Other wise great job!
 
I'm curious why you titled it a 7D short film. Does that make it special? lose it.

Boy, I felt like I was back in class that speech in the beginning. Maybe you could have chosen a different way to explain the assignment, maybe two friends talking while they fire off guns, bitching about the assigment or confessing it's power, something situational where there is some action. Maybe a boyfriend trying to get a kiss while his girlfriend discusses the assignment with him as she fends him off? There are better examples you can solicit from more experienced Directors or DPs, but do you see what I'm getting at? something to grab you. those first couple of shots grabbed me but the teacher shut it down for me. I don't even know if he's a necessary character to the story. Nice effort. Keep working in AE although be careful using diffusion, it's been used ALOT.

Work on story. I think you're other elements are fine. You're production values are good but if you're trying to emulate film, it's going to take more research and trial and error. Sound was excellent. Can't wait to see what's next.
 
Wow, these are all really good critiques.....very valid indeed. The whole thing about the teacher I agree, this dialogue was lengthy but he was a last minute replacement for an other teacher we planned to shoot with. I had to make due given the deadline, I gave him direction but he felt more comfortable delivering the lines that naturally portrayed his character ( I couldn't waste much time in adjustments). I only need the intro classroom scene to make sense of the entire film, which was the adventure during the park.....therefore I devoted minimal interest in that area, just needed it to get the ball moving. As far as the "video quality" look, I'm confused....which part looked like that? I felt like the entire piece delivered a "cinematic" feel, am I wrong?

The contest guidelines was to shoot a film at a city park and develop a story around it that conveys all the amenities the park offers (with grading criteria on artistic direction,cinematography,editing, etc). The judges will be members of the city's cultural affairs department, hopefully they won't be real sticklers on story, although I do feel there is a solid story told here.
 
I like everything about it, but would tweak the opening. Understanding the context of the contest helps (say that three times fast). Would be nice if you cut the opening class scene down to an initial 20 seconds or so, during the pan across the front of the class room switch to the girl getting the bike out of the car but keep the teacher as a voice over. The interaction between teacher and student 'feels' uncomfortable. The remaining shots are great and being judged by the city's cultural affairs department I would expect a little over the top might be a good thing.

Steve
 
Lighting in the opening is flat almost like you came to the classroom and used the overhead fluorescents as they were. Work on that- good lighting is more contrasty, dimensional etc. Tons of good resources/books on Cinematography out there. Also gamma in the later scenes looks quite a bit blown out. Try doing another grade with your scopes on and protect for broadcast safe.

-Noah
 
You must have applied some diffusion filter? I think it's that people react on. (Myself I would call it the "pr0n movie look", but hey, that probably sais more about me... than your cinematography).

All in all it's great that you actually put an effort & thought into it. Most people don't these days. (high shutter, handheld, hunting for focus... everything is liable as "artistic" it seems).
 
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