CallaghanFilms Presents "The Gaussian Project"

[CallaghanFilms]

Chad - When I talked to Kimko when he got back he had such great things to say about you. Glad you guys had a good/productive time out there and congrats on getting a great cast/crew together.

The feeling is mutual...he has regularly buzzed my ear about you.

I'll start out by saying that I don't totally get the story. There are certain parts that I'm clear on, and most that I'm not. I think this would benefit immensely from more time. The editing/pacing is clean and quick, but the conference room scene seems a bit long because I get lost. The acting is top notch. The writing is good, although I think the story is truley hampered at 6:00. The gunshot at the end was also a bit weak. I also think the old man (Donovan I think his name is) is slightly upstaged throuhout. I think this has alot of potential, just not in this timeframe, as most people won't get it.

I definitely wouldn't have turned down more time.
Of course, if 7 minutes where offered up...suddenly 8 would look mighty fine...and so on and so forth. You know how it is.

There are some exchanges I would have loved to have kept in the Sci-Fest cut, but I stand behind this edit nonetheless, in all its 6 minute glory.

This is most assuredly a thinking man's Sci-Fi narrative,
so don't blink or you'll be as lost as Pookie at Jim Kilgour's
place.

beer:Cheers, Tim
...and I'd love to work with you eventually.

 

[Luis Caffesse]

Callaghan, I've been looking forward to this one for a while... from your posts I've always felt that we were on the same page in terms of our tastes.

I'll forget the technical issues - because they seem to have been discussed for the most part.

First off - writing - you've got an ear for dialogue, that's for sure.
it's evident in the first scene, the boardroom scene.
The dialogue rolls for the most part, which is nice.
And your performances were pretty damn solid - Kimko's got something, absolutely.

(can you feel it .... here it comes....)
BUT -

I have to be honest - I didn't follow the story at all.
I was into it with the first scene, and once it left the boardroom, I just kinda got lost.
The dialogue was still crisp (i love the quarterback line - sounded like Ryamond Chandler meets Stephen King - weird comparisson I know, but hey) but the structure just wasn't there for me. I felt confused on what exactly Kimko's character was doing, and I honestly have no idea what happened at the end.

I'm going to watch it again - because I feel like I may have missed some major information in that dialogue - but I thought I would give you a first run perspective.

Not trying to be a downer here, just being honest.
Overall, I like your work - and I love your dialogue.
It was just the structure that was lacking for me.

Hats off to you, in all sincerity.
I didn't even get off my ass and make an entry.
So, that tells you how seriously to take my feedback.

 

[CallaghanFilms]

Well, I definitely agree with those who complimented the writing. I can't tell you how relieved I was to actually see a dialogue film - most of these things are like going back to avant-garde cinema, you know?
I thought your older actors were a lot of fun and very talented. I wasn't crazy about sound across the board, particularly the hero's voice. I guess that's a funny thing to say, but somehow he didn't sound - heroic. I dunno.
The film was certainly shot in a competent and clean manner, although I felt it could be moving the story along a little more quickly/lucidly. I'll give my comment I feel about 90% of these films which is, you probably would have done better to cut a minute or possibly more. The first boardroom scene is quite long, and often hard to hear.
Cool concept, cool execution. Keep on filming.

Thanks for the review, penfever.
Honestly, I am ecstatic that the writing is being noticed...and I do agree with you that dialogue is king.

As far as the time of the film...
I appreciate what you are saying, but have to lean the other way on the issue-
that is another minute or two added as opposed to being shaved. Once again, I'm happy with the six minute cut...but in keeping in the spirit of directors, a longer cut does appeal to me as well.

 

[CallaghanFilms]

...First off - writing - you've got an ear for dialogue, that's for sure.
it's evident in the first scene, the boardroom scene.
The dialogue rolls for the most part, which is nice...

I can't tell you how much that means to me coming from you, Luis. As a writer, I hold your (and a select few of our fellow dvxuser scribes') opinions quite high. Thank you, my man.

...And your performances were pretty damn solid - Kimko's got something, absolutely...

Kimko is no doubt smiling ear to ear while reading that.

...I have to be honest - I didn't follow the story at all.
I was into it with the first scene, and once it left the boardroom, I just kinda got lost.
The dialogue was still crisp (i love the quarterback line - sounded like Ryamond Chandler meets Stephen King - weird comparisson I know, but hey) but the structure just wasn't there for me...

As I said, the story could definately have benefited from an extra minute of explanation. However, regardless of length, I do consider this one to be a double-screener...one whose intentions are more fully revealed the second time around.

...Overall, I like your work - and I love your dialogue.
It was just the structure that was lacking for me...

Luis, I would love some follow-up thoughts from you whenever you do get a chance to view it again...if you wouldn't mind too much, of course.

Cheers:beer:

 

[ChrisHurn]

The first thing really caught my attention was the dialogue in this film. I really liked it, and I really liked the acting. I thought everyone pulled off their character really well. I followed the story, though I can't really comment because I had read the script a number of times and knew it anyway, lol. I think the 6 minute thing is so hard to do, and you pulled it off really well, so great job.

I was really pleased to be able to work on music for this.

-Chris

 

[Luis Caffesse]

whew - well I'm glad my feedback didn't rub you the wrong way.
It's always tough to know how to phrase things, especially when we don't have tone of voice and body language to help us communicate.

Okay - I just watched it a second time, and seeing as it is now the afternoon - and not 1am like it was when i first watched it - it made much more sense to me this time.

First off let me say that some of the technical issues (or choices) threw me the first time and made it a little more difficult to follow. The panning of the audio in the first scene was very distracting to me - Kimko was panned right, sometimes, but sometimes center - the two guys on the other side of the table were panned left. I can see why you did that (if you did it on purpose that is)...but I think it was just too much for me. I would suggest panning them 3/4 right or 3/4 left...but not all the way. That's just me.

Going back to whats important -
Acting - it's pretty good throughout... but it's a bit uneven. I only bring this up because when it's good, it's GOOD. It makes it harder as an audience member to settle for a lukewarm line delivery when I've just seen a really good one. Kimko for example started out really strong I thought - I love his reaction shot when he lifts the glass to sarcastically toast the guy - he really sold it. But when the scene gets to it's turning point (when Kimko's character starts making his demands about shutting down the project) - I wasn't sold. He started the scene with a sort of "too cool for school" attitude which was really nice... but by the end, when he's in control and making his demands, I really wanted to see him get a little more passionate. Then again, that's just me. It just seems like if he were asking them to shut down this project, it's something that means A LOT to him - he really wants it gone, right? That small section of the scene came off kinda flat though... as though he was just throwing it out there. I'm sort of rambling here because I'm trying to find the right words...I guess it comes down to him not sounding decisive enough. He sounded as if he was making up those demands as he went along - as opposed to having it planned out before hand. I mean, he knew why he was called there...that was established at the beginning. So he knows he's got an ace up his sleeve, so to speak. He's got these guys where he wants them and he's going to squeeze everything he can out of it - right? To me, I wanted to see him relish in that moment a little more - instead of being so casual about it.

But, again, we're talking about performance, and character motivation here... and you're the director - not me. Just trying to giving you my two cents as an audience member.

Storywise -
The second time around this made A LOT more sense (I think).
What I got this time was that the team went back in time to capture the renegade guy (forgot his name). Instead they get ambushed, and Kimko's character gets killed. By getting killed in 1873, well before he was even born - it causes a paradox in the universe which apparently can't be rectified... ending in the destruction of that entire world.

Right or wrong - that's what I got out of it the second time.
I think the problem the first time was that it was just so quick....
Your opening scene is nice, but looking back I think I woudl have tried to cut it down a little. When we jump from the boardroom scene to the guys dressed up in western gear - that's where I got lost the first time. It would have been nice to include a short prep scene, showing them suiting up, etc... maybe discussing how the time travel works...it woudl have set it up better for me. And, to be honest, when you suddenly cut like that to Kimko and these guys in western gear it was almost funny the first time - because it was so unexpected. So the first time I saw it I missed the first couple of lines of dialogue because I was too busy thinking "what the hell are they wearing that for?"

Of course, it all made perfect sense the second time around.

So, now that I feel I followed the story I would still say that I think the structure is a bit off. Not that I would want to break down a 6 minute short to a 3 act structure...but there is a structure to your story (no matter how short the story is).

Your boardroom scene is 4 minutes long - out of 6 total minutes.
It's no wonder that when I saw it the first time I felt like the end flew by.
I think, in an ideal world - your boardroom scene could have been nearly cut in half - or at least down to 3minutes. Then you could have spent a litlte more time in the prep and explanation of going back to 1873, maybe have a short "briefing of the team" by Kimko's character on what the mission entails exactly - you have saying "be ready in 5 minutes" but then we cut to much later...I would have liked to see the actual leap back in time, personally.

Anyhow - I'm rambling here - I guess my point on the structure is that it seems very front heavy - essentially it's a 4 minute first act and a 2 minute second act. I would have liked to see a little more balance in the timing.

Oh, and on the second viewing I still didn't understand the graphic at the end? (Abort, Fail, Retry) Is that supposed to tell me that this was some sort of 'virtual world'? The whole thing is a game? Still a bit lost on that one.

Again - don't get me wrong - overall I liked it, and I wouldn't bother writing in so much detail if I didn't. Most of what I had a problem with was limitations you had given the 6 minute time constraint. So keep that in mind.

EDITED TO ADD:
By the way - I meant to mention - I really liked "histories to conquer" - nice line.

 

[xl70e3]

Alright, so I watched it... Cheap rehash of Van Damme's TimeCop with some unshaved kimko instead of Van Damme and without butt-kicking and time travel vfx...









j/k, of course. Loved it, Callaghan. Great story, dialogue, acting all around beer: to Kimko, you definitely have that something about you). Thinking man's Sci-Fi it is. I also liked the lighting in the office scene, looked totally pro. And the costumes. And the vfx.

Yeah, there are issues - mainly sound (it's not just Norm, I had trouble hearing some lines too and levels were jumping like crazy) and pacing (I don't mind the length of the first scene, but the end flew by in a blink... damn 6 min limit) - but nothing a Director's Cut couldn't fix.

Good job.

 

[CallaghanFilms]

The first thing really caught my attention was the dialogue in this film. I really liked it, and I really liked the acting. I thought everyone pulled off their character really well. I followed the story, though I can't really comment because I had read the script a number of times and knew it anyway, lol. I think the 6 minute thing is so hard to do, and you pulled it off really well, so great job.

I was really pleased to be able to work on music for this.

-Chris

Chris.
I'm still blown away by what you were able to achieve with the score.
Beautifully done, maestro!
:thumbup: :thumbup:

 

[Filmjunkie677]

Just watched this one and I have to say, this is the best dialogue, IMO, out of all the entries, so far.
Great acting across the board, Kimko is great(damn he looks like Bruce Campbell), and the two older gentleman were fantastic.
I loved the opening scene, but once it cut to the next scene you kinda lost me.
If you kept the intensity of the first scene throughout, this wouldve been a winner, through and through.

And the audio definetly had problems in the levels, as I was constantly adjusting my volume throughout.

But, good job Callaghan!! Entertaining, enjoyable and totally sc-fi!!

Keep it up.

 

[CallaghanFilms]

...Storywise -
The second time around this made A LOT more sense (I think).
What I got this time was that the team went back in time to capture the renegade guy (forgot his name). Instead they get ambushed, and Kimko's character gets killed. By getting killed in 1873, well before he was even born - it causes a paradox in the universe which apparently can't be rectified... ending in the destruction of that entire world...

This plausible paradox conclusion is skirted around in nearly every time travel film/book/show, but never actually utilized when all is said and done...until now.

...Your boardroom scene is 4 minutes long - out of 6 total minutes.
It's no wonder that when I saw it the first time I felt like the end flew by.
I think, in an ideal world - your boardroom scene could have been nearly cut in half - or at least down to 3minutes...

I agree totally...but I'll let you (and a 'coupla thousand of our closest dvxuser friends) in on the secret motivation for my not doing so...
Obviously it was Kimko's show, but I also had a name actor in Brett Rice that I wanted to showcase as much as possible. I adored the chemistry between the two of them, and really felt that the boardroom scene became a short film in itself. Above and beyond this reason, I also wrote the whole of the explanatory dialog into the boardroom shots...and the more I cut, the less would be made clear after the finale.

But, alas, I do agree with you in hindsight, and should have shown the shots of the mercenaries changing from their futuristic duds into the period clothing.
I guess I thought that just seeing them in the 19th century costumes in the blown-out futuristic background would be enough to establish the fact that they were about to travel in time (hence the drone sound fx that I added.)

...I would have liked to see the actual leap back in time, personally...

That's one of the shots that we planned, but scraped at the last minute. The reason? I learned really fast that when making low-budget Sci-Fi, one is always mindful of (gulp) crossing into MST3K territory...and to be frank, I was petrified that the "time leap" shot would do just that. I'm curious...Did anyone else have this in the back of their minds on their shoots? Probably not...it's just me I'm sure.

...Oh, and on the second viewing I still didn't understand the graphic at the end? (Abort, Fail, Retry) Is that supposed to tell me that this was some sort of 'virtual world'? The whole thing is a game? Still a bit lost on that one.

That's one that I'll leave for each viewer to decide for himself.

 

[CallaghanFilms]

Alright, so I watched it... Cheap rehash of Van Damme's TimeCop with some unshaved kimko instead of Van Damme and without butt-kicking and time travel vfx...


j/k, of course. Loved it, Callaghan...

LMAO!

Seriously though...
I was one of the biggest backers of Sci-Fi as a Fest theme early on. I had NO freggin' idea how tough a genre it would be to conquer creatively! I have written many stories over the years, but never Science Fiction per se before this one. I must have gone through seven concepts before I came up with "The Gaussian Project". I would be well into a script when I'd look down and say, "Holy ****...I'm writing (fill in existing Sci-Fi title here.)

I know about the collective consciousness factor, and the damned clichés about ****ing monkeys with typewriters, and that every writing assignment presents its own creative challenges...
but Christ, Sci-Fi has to be the hardest genre of all to find an original angle in.

:beer: Cheers xl70e3

 

[CallaghanFilms]

Just watched this one and I have to say, this is the best dialogue, IMO, out of all the entries, so far...

All that I can say is, "Thank you very much for that." I am both moved and honored that you feel that way.

...I loved the opening scene, but once it cut to the next scene you kinda lost me.
If you kept the intensity of the first scene throughout, this wouldve been a winner, through and through...

That's precisely what I was trying to convey earlier...For me, the boardroom scene became so intensively dramatic, that I didn't want it to end.

...And the audio definitely had problems in the levels, as I was constantly adjusting my volume throughout...

All I can say to that is that if I happen to be fortunate enough make it onto the DVD, the sound issues will absolutely be addressed.

:beer:Cheers and thanks again for making my night.

 

[D_and_G]

Alright, you'll have to forgive me for my forwardness, but I promised not to sugar coat things this wee time round.
(I recently judged some well meaning students).

I agree with the aforementioned comment about your dialogue being the best in the fest. You have a talent for just enough spin on dialogue, while remaining naturalistic. And Kimko has a watchability that further enlivens it. He reminds me of the guy from "Once Were Warriors", without the muscles :wink:

Now , I don't mean this in a condescending way , but film is a Visual medium. It has to visually carry the theme, image motif, emotion, and environment that the characters live in.

Perhaps, for budget or other restraints you felt like confining the primary scene to a board room, but visually it doesn't do your work justice. I would have loved to see what you were trying to express thematically. By having your characters do a "walk and talk" in a underlining thematic location, or have the conversation with the Kimko character, as he does an action, visually representing who he is, you embolden the story, IMO. An example of this is in The Ususal Suspects - the intro. to each character was highlighted with location, action, and cinematography. I just believed there was an opportunity to really broaden the scope of the scene, while suiting your story needs visually. By no means am I Orson Welles, so please don't take this as any kind of pomposity.

Also, I was wondering a couple things after your short.
Why was Kimko chosen for this task ? What about him being a (sorry, forgot the name you gave him) was so special ? Secondly, why wasn't the paradox rule spelled out in the first scene, and if this was a possibility, why did the actors seem to take the end of the world possibility, rather nonchalantly ? Mainly, I was looking for the reason I went WTF? when the world blew up. Maybe I'm in the minority, but I didn't see the foreshadowing in your first scene.

Also, with such an important mission, why wasn't Kimko allowed to choose his own team ? And if he did, why would a long term partner betray him. ?

Finally, and this was a biggy for me - Why was Kimko chosen if he could be so easily killed ?

You see, for me, it all leads back to the first scene, and how visually you are not giving us these answers. Having a conversation with the Kimko character that visually represented his special abilities, the world they were in, and the brink of a paradox on which they stood, is of paramount importance.

All that being said, I really did enjoy your film (it's in my top ten). The dialogue was crisp and original, and your lead protagonist was immediately likeable. If you could have expanded on the visual information imparted, and weighted the scenes differently, I felt it would have been the bees knees.

I look forward to your next work. May I suggest film noir? I think you would hit that outta the park :beer:


Cheers

 

[ExtremeSleuth]

Secondly, why wasn't the paradox rule spelled out in the first scene

to me the paradox rule is spelled out in every other time travel movie i.e. back to the future and stuff... i just don't think he wanted to use up time that he didnt need to to explain something that's been explained in other films countless times. but thats just me.

 

[DannyDarko]

I really don't like having to watch a dialog heavy scene with characters I don't care about. It's even worse to start the movie that way. As for the ending, I was no more confused than I was with most of the SciFi entries... which isn't a good thing because very few of these movies have actual endings. Most endings are like "Oops-I-ran-out-of-time". I am just trying to be honest. I know it's easier to criticize than to create, but this movie just kinda bothered me. On the positive side, I liked when the main character went to snag a second cigar but got denied. Little bits like that always make a movie for me.

 

[kimko]

wow! we all told Callaghan this was a great story. but he had to cut out so much between time constraint, with the actors and being under 6 mins. there is so much more but darn it! it would have solved the mystery, everything you have said Luis and D and G HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD! Brett and i were sparring with our words and looks, it was a moment. we upped each other until i had gained control which i in turn walked out telling them my demands on their level they only understand. and the compassion was a couple of paragraphs of my speech that was taken out. now it was editted out for time and possibly because when it was time for my CU i was burnt out running my lines for the other actors for their CU (Brett was on a time constraint), so i might have sucked big time!i did not get any sleep for 2 days straight i was also helping with crew from 6am on to 11pm and i told Chad that i was hating my voice it was a pitch too high (so i agree with you there Penfever)anyhows, now you're all saying that i got something! like what! a disease huh what you talking about Willis hey thanks all:thumbup:

 

[kimko]

oh i'm still waiting to see it in it's entirely

 

[CallaghanFilms]

Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts on my film.

...Perhaps, for budget or other restraints you felt like confining the primary scene to a board room, but visually it doesn't do your work justice...

The boardroom wasn't a confinement at all. I scouted around for weeks looking for just that location, in fact (and ended up paying a hefty sum to rent it out for the 13 hour day that we shot there.)

Please understand that I am not being defensive here. I am merely stating that I wrote it as a boardroom and shot it as such. To be exact, the setting itself was a boardroom located on the upper level of the Hergewel Corp building.

I appreciate that you think it didn't do my story justice,
and I agree with you in this respect...

If this were a big budget film, I possibly would have changed the setting (ideally I would have let Dennis Muren over at ILM go absolutely bonkers with the design.)

...Why was Kimko chosen for this task ? What about him being a (sorry, forgot the name you gave him) was so special ? Secondly, why wasn't the paradox rule spelled out in the first scene, and if this was a possibility, why did the actors seem to take the end of the world possibility, rather nonchalantly ? Mainly, I was looking for the reason I went WTF? when the world blew up. Maybe I'm in the minority, but I didn't see the foreshadowing in your first scene....

Hergewel (Brett Rice) says that the other volunteers couldn't manipulate the Gaussian device itself...and that only an "Evolvatic" could do so. I'm not a huge fan of exposition, so I thought that would explain just enough. Val Corliss (Kimko) is by no means a Rambo or a John McClane...he is however one of the few existing Evolvatics, and therefore the key to successful time travel.

What is an Evolvatic? That's the mystery. I mean I can tell you...but I feel the film is better served leaving some questions unanswered (or up to the viewers imagination as the case may be). That is the problem with prequels...where do they end? Because for every question answered, four more are raised. I mean what's next, are we gonna find out what Emperor Palpatine was like as a restless teenager? But I digress.

...Finally, and this was a biggy for me - Why was Kimko chosen if he could be so easily killed ?

His strength lies in his advanced evolved brain power. Both Hergewel and Dr. Darden (Ed Donovan) can't stand him, but he is there only hope...
for he is the only other Evolvatic that they have access to, other than Dr. Le Berge (who betrayed them.)

...
All that being said, I really did enjoy your film (it's in my top ten). The dialogue was crisp and original, and your lead protagonist was immediately likeable. If you could have expanded on the visual information imparted, and weighted the scenes differently, I felt it would have been the bees knees.

Thank you again for the feedback. The Top Ten comment is especially generous (considering the company I'm in with the other entrants.)

:beer: Cheers


Cheers[/QUOTE]

 

[Z B Brox]

I agree that the acting was pretty top-notch here, but I share a lot of concerns about the story. The dialogue (what I could make out, I also had problems with the sound) was pretty dead on, and that alone made the conference room scene worthwhile.... but that ends up a case of winning a battle but losing a war, I think. You have a nice scene, but the time it takes up force you to rush through the actual story, and that hurts the film over all. It's tough to find that balance, because you need enough of that good dialogue and those strong performances to engage us in the plot, but it becomes almost an outline after that scene ends. Some real strengths here, but I think you've got to look at the film as a whole first. Tough to do when *you* have all the important stuff already in your head, but it's necessity for the viewer.

 

[CallaghanFilms]

to me the paradox rule is spelled out in every other time travel movie i.e. back to the future and stuff... i just don't think he wanted to use up time that he didnt need to to explain something that's been explained in other films countless times. but thats just me.

That was the way I saw it as well, ravinesedge.:beer: