C100: Bittersweet
- Thread starter casley17
- Start date
Jorn van Oostende
Active member
That's really nice.
cowpunk52
Veteran
Nice job! Great looking and effective little story. Very well done!
My one little bugger, and I don't know 100% if it's true or if anybody else caught it, but it looks like the girl isn't wearing any actual lenses in her glasses. I realize this is often done to counter reflections, but to me, the choice it is a bit off-putting. I would have much rather her not been wearing them at all rather than just the frames!
My one little bugger, and I don't know 100% if it's true or if anybody else caught it, but it looks like the girl isn't wearing any actual lenses in her glasses. I realize this is often done to counter reflections, but to me, the choice it is a bit off-putting. I would have much rather her not been wearing them at all rather than just the frames!
Nickelsvision
Member
I noticed it also and it slightly bothered me but overall good job.
Scott Freestyle
Well-known member
I disagree, compositionally it worked for me. The situation itself has been performed many times, but I think choice of shots and focal lengths used played very well here. I felt her awkwardness.. and her loneliness.. I suppose that's the beauty of creative choices, they work for some and maybe not for others.
Jorn van Oostende
Active member
I didn't noticed the glasses before, but on the big screen that would be to obvious and distracting. The only thing that was bothering me when I watched it the first time was that the focus was on the buildings in the background and not on the guy when he walks into the coffeeshop. But for being the DP, director and a "stolen" set I think you did a great job.
How long did it take you to shoot it?
How long did it take you to shoot it?
its a fashion style among asians that they wear contacts while wearing glasses without lenses.
cowpunk52
Veteran
Perhaps that was the intent, but I got the feeling the girl was supposed to be somewhat of a social outcast, not a hipster
indiawilds
Veteran
Nicely done. Acting is fine and holds attention. I saw the specs without the glass. It is a bit hard to digest for me as I used specs for some 20 odd years.
Where exactly? Was it in Singapore?
Where exactly? Was it in Singapore?
This grinds my gears, there are cuts where both characters are screen right looking screen left, that has nothing to do with taste or creative choices, thats incorrect composition. There are times when characters are center framed and they should not be providing too much negative space. The first shot lacks elements in the foreground which reduces depth perception and makes the dolly shot effect very minimal. The second wide shot has no focal point of real relevance in the story. The rules of composition are hundreds of years in the making, they can be broken only after being mastered and when the narrative dictates. Not trying to be over critical of the filmmaker, but tightening the composition will be the easiest way to improve the look.
Scott Freestyle
Well-known member
Try not to get too worked up... This piece looks like it was made cheaply, quickly in a shop that was open for business..The story was conveyed in a simplistic manner and he didn't ask for critique.. I thought the guy did a nice job and I try to give encouragement when I can.. even if that is back slapping.
Please don't respond by giving me a lesson.. you have already demonstrated that you are a SERIOUS filmmaker...I've demonstrated that I know nothing, lets leave it at that.
Please don't respond by giving me a lesson.. you have already demonstrated that you are a SERIOUS filmmaker...I've demonstrated that I know nothing, lets leave it at that.
Whats the point of posting your work here if you do not want people to discuss it?
I told him that it was a nice effort and probably difficult to shot in that location, I get coffee at that cafe very often, one of the only places in SF with a solid sausage egg and cheese, I'm well aware of the challenges of shooting there. Thats why I mentioned composition as the easiest way to improve the look without increasing shoot time or budget.
You weren't given encouragement you were justifying mistakes with creativity, and thats detrimental not helpful.
I told him that it was a nice effort and probably difficult to shot in that location, I get coffee at that cafe very often, one of the only places in SF with a solid sausage egg and cheese, I'm well aware of the challenges of shooting there. Thats why I mentioned composition as the easiest way to improve the look without increasing shoot time or budget.
You weren't given encouragement you were justifying mistakes with creativity, and thats detrimental not helpful.
These kids are students and I think they are doing great so far. I went to the same Academy of Arts way back and finished up at Cal Arts. I just took it for what it's worth, but they should also be aware that when you do put things up on DXVuser you will be critiqued by many. I hope they take it as motivation to correct the issues I also see. I think its a much better improvement from the whole "Fartman" series they put up for show. haha I don't ever post things I've done here or personal work. Reason why I don't post too much is because I'm still learning also(aren't we all?). I wish I didn't have to work so I could work on a narrative.
Scott Freestyle
Well-known member
I use a lot of photography forums. If someone posts a picture its not critiqued unless asked for.. my mistake. If I was indeed detrimental by disagreeing with your accurate take on the compositional merits of Calseys short clip.. then my sincerest apologies.
Scott_Spears
Well-known member
I thought it was an effective little tale well told and well shot.
Scott
Scott
I think as DVXUser is a film making forum first and foremost, when you put your work up here it's going to be critiqued and you should probably expect that to occur. It used to be the case that critique was given with the view to assist the creator and thats how it was perceived by most. Most people do it to be helpful and in some cases people simply question something as a learning experience for themselves as much as anything.
If it was Facebook and this was the creators personal page, then it may not be the right place to add critique.
The one thing about this forum is people are more likely to pick things that a general audience are probably very unlikely to, so that should always be kept in mind.
I certainly don't see a real issue with the statement Ive quoted below, quite simply because I had the same thoughts, though Scott is also entitled to a differing opinion and I agree with Scott in the sense that I effectively felt her awkwardness. I don't think anyone who makes a statement should need to defend their position and that to me is where threads turn a little ugly. We simply need to accept that everyone is coming from a different place. I will agree with RZE's not on a follow up post - know the rules before you break them.
I would like to add some additional thoughts for the creators.
First, you guys are out there creating narrative pieces. It's obvious you're doing so as a want to learn and become better at it. This piece is not the derivative of talking on a forum, it's a derivative of exploring and getting better and that I applaud.
Tricky location to shoot during business hours and well done to get it happening at all. Additional note here - many fall flat on getting any kind of location of quality, so well done to make things happen. There are of course trade offs in everything - however, the key point for me here is that from a production perspective the hustle of the live location added to the feel. What it also created in your second shot was limitations on lighting and that particular shot for me was a weak point. The upside is that it doesn't need to be here at all and I'd recommend leaving it on the floor.
Second thought, the glasses without glass... the fact that people notice it is enough for me to think in a piece I create, maybe it wasn't the right choice entirely. I think the glasses add to the girl's look, so if it were a case of these with no glass or nothing at all, I'd make the decision to live with them as they are and to be honest on a non film making forum - you're audience may not even notice and that would be my stronger motivation.
As to the story and set up and this really is the key point for me, well its been done many times before and that's never an issue as long as you bring your own take on it. Again it becomes a bit of a double edge sword. When you get it right, people will applaud and throw roses from the upper boxes. For me here, it wasn't quite original enough to make it stand out.
Next, I think you're probably already aware of this one around 1:15? I'll leave it at that.
Final point on production - Im really not a big fan of the angle of light placed on her. What does that mean to you? Absolutely nothing, you made you're choice as you saw it.
Again, and this is what I think you should take away from my post - I think guys like you that are out there shooting and learning are what makes this site great. I've seen people do just that here before and they are now respected pro's, not just here on this forum - out in the real world. I think you really captured a nice feeling and emotion in the piece and thats: 1/enough for me to think you get it and 2/a big achievement from where I stand. I look forward to seeing what you do next.
If it was Facebook and this was the creators personal page, then it may not be the right place to add critique.
The one thing about this forum is people are more likely to pick things that a general audience are probably very unlikely to, so that should always be kept in mind.
I certainly don't see a real issue with the statement Ive quoted below, quite simply because I had the same thoughts, though Scott is also entitled to a differing opinion and I agree with Scott in the sense that I effectively felt her awkwardness. I don't think anyone who makes a statement should need to defend their position and that to me is where threads turn a little ugly. We simply need to accept that everyone is coming from a different place. I will agree with RZE's not on a follow up post - know the rules before you break them.
I would like to add some additional thoughts for the creators.
First, you guys are out there creating narrative pieces. It's obvious you're doing so as a want to learn and become better at it. This piece is not the derivative of talking on a forum, it's a derivative of exploring and getting better and that I applaud.
Tricky location to shoot during business hours and well done to get it happening at all. Additional note here - many fall flat on getting any kind of location of quality, so well done to make things happen. There are of course trade offs in everything - however, the key point for me here is that from a production perspective the hustle of the live location added to the feel. What it also created in your second shot was limitations on lighting and that particular shot for me was a weak point. The upside is that it doesn't need to be here at all and I'd recommend leaving it on the floor.
Second thought, the glasses without glass... the fact that people notice it is enough for me to think in a piece I create, maybe it wasn't the right choice entirely. I think the glasses add to the girl's look, so if it were a case of these with no glass or nothing at all, I'd make the decision to live with them as they are and to be honest on a non film making forum - you're audience may not even notice and that would be my stronger motivation.
As to the story and set up and this really is the key point for me, well its been done many times before and that's never an issue as long as you bring your own take on it. Again it becomes a bit of a double edge sword. When you get it right, people will applaud and throw roses from the upper boxes. For me here, it wasn't quite original enough to make it stand out.
Next, I think you're probably already aware of this one around 1:15? I'll leave it at that.
Final point on production - Im really not a big fan of the angle of light placed on her. What does that mean to you? Absolutely nothing, you made you're choice as you saw it.
Again, and this is what I think you should take away from my post - I think guys like you that are out there shooting and learning are what makes this site great. I've seen people do just that here before and they are now respected pro's, not just here on this forum - out in the real world. I think you really captured a nice feeling and emotion in the piece and thats: 1/enough for me to think you get it and 2/a big achievement from where I stand. I look forward to seeing what you do next.
Can i just add, with my own short pieces I experiment a lot. I try different things that simply add too much risk to my day to day work and relationships. Ive just shot a piece and its very much in the vein of experimenting with things. On this, it may of course be a complete failure but I will put it to the audience here and see how those experimental decisions hold up. Believe me, I intentionally broke a number of "rules" and that could be detrimental in the long run - we shall see, but I do not fear the critique.
8string
Well-known member
Nice job on this, though I agree that if you put something up here it's going to get critiqued. No harm. It reminded me of a Charlie Chaplin film brought up to date and with a modern soundtrack. Keep on experimenting, as we all do. On a small screen I couldn't really tell if there was glass in her glasses, and would not likely have noticed. However, is it real that they were empty frames with contacts? or are you just pulling our leg...