"Below Dry Water" - The movie is out

MiniMan

MiniMan

Well-known member
Hi folks, the Kid is back!:thumbsup:

utv_poster6.jpg


I have just recently finished my first "major" movie with the DVX. Some of you may have seen the trailer before.

Anyway, here it is, with English subtitles:
http://tore.thedigitalline.com/UTV169_web.wmv

Hope you all enjoy it :)
 
Well, I enjoyed it for the most part. I will now detail the likes/dislikes I had with the film.

LIKES
  • I like a few of your shots.
  • Your lighting looks good. Well, I should say your lack of lighting looks good. It looks like you relied on available light, but the only thing that matters is that I could see your actors.
  • The entire rundown school is a great place to film something.
  • You had great characterization, although it was unneeded and I'll explain why. Your characters did contrast well, but in the parameters of your short film it didn't matter, we don't have enough time to get to know the characters and you should focus more on the conflict than actual character development. Although, I'm sure others would disagree with me, but if you spend too much time on it you're loosing minutes that could go to the actual rising and falling action of your film.
  • You had a beginning middle and end.

DISLIKES
  • In the beginning their watching a film I assume? Yet right after that they act like their bored. Why not show them doing nothing, and than decide to go to the rundown school? (Beginning - Their bored, Middle - So they go to the school, and are confronted by the conflict, the killer in this case. End - They kill him.) I think it would make more sense. Although, I do realize this is for the characterization of the scared character; it's really unneeded information, as it can be shown in other ways. Such as being reluctant in going to the rundown school.
  • Your colors kept changing, from warm to cool. It kind of took me out of the movie because it kept changing.
  • your editing is smooth for the most part.
  • I think close ups could be used to a greater affect, such as a close up shot of their eyes or face, or reactions to other characters.
  • I didn't notice any establishing shots? This would have been awesome to see the school from the outside as they walk in.
  • I didn't like that your characters used a gun to solve their problem, I understand suspension of disbelief but I can't really grasp a 13 year old shooting a gun with persicion. Perhaps your characters could have trapped him, in a net? I know it seems corny, but something more inventive would have been more interesting.
  • Your characters seemed largely unaffected to what was going on. "Oh their is a killer, oh okay lets kill him back."

I hope that wasn't harsh. Because I liked it, and it looks like there was a lot of great effort put into that, and it's better than things I've seen made by people twice your age.

oh and.. what does below dry water mean?
 
Hey, just watched it, I liked it and I agree with alot of what directinglegend said. I thgought it was pretty good, and I liked that you tried to use characterization, thats definately a good thing. I also agree that you should have had them react a little more than they did to the fact that there is a killer in the school. I also felt that beginning scene was fairly weak although I did like what it tried to accomplish. You should have tried to make the visuals a little more interesting in that fist scene, because they WERE interesting in the school scenes...that was a great location. Also, the story was lacking really, but you proved you can tell a story so that is good.

Sorry to be harsh, I really have no right to be. I'm 17 and by no means an expert filmmaker. Your young(14 right?) and your putting together movies, so I probably look like a jerk saying anything negative. But I think that it really is criticism that teaches you the most. Truth is, I wish that I had started as young as you because I'm sure I would be much better now. I can tell you have alot of potential as a filmmaker, and by the time you are older, you will be making great movies.
 
I like how the kid fires the gun like it's something he does everyday, he knows how to cock it and fire right away, with no remorse. That's supposed to be read with sarcasm. But I seriously did like the characterization, and think it is essential to the story because it gave it a nice backbone and made me care about what was going to happen to them and interested in how they solved their problems. I also disagree with directinglegend about the net, it is too corny. I think it would be cool if they chopped his head off with his axe after the shot him a couple times, just to make sure he was dead. Me and my friends ran into this exact problem when we were 14 and that's what he did, except there where two killers and lit the second one on fire with cleaning chemicals, then chopped off his head.
 
Thanks for the great comments guys, you are by no means harsh, I'm starting to get used to stuff like this :)

@Directinglegend: May I ask, what do you mean/dislike about my editing being "smooth"? I'm not sure if I understand you properly. Oh, and "Below Dry Water" is because the action takes place in the cellar below the old swimming pool. I know it doesn't fit very well, but the title tends to make people interested actually.

I completely understand you guys about the way the kid fires the gun, how they react to the killers etc. It was definitely a mistake, but hey, we all learn by doing mistakes.

It really suprises me that the characterization and storytelling worked, that is what worried me the most. I feel like I'm getting better at this :)

Keep the comments coming ya'all!
 
Oh, I forgot to mention what Nobody365 said about the beginning scene. I liked the beginning scene because it was so bland, which I'm guessing was the point, and it tricked you into thinking that this movie was going be a rough watch, but then it started to kick into gear with them going to the school on their bikes, which was a nice bridge, then going into the creepy German school. I like the lack of an establishing shot because it didn't make a huge deal of going into the school and lures you into a false sense of security and helped to keep it in the innocent kids perspective and made the movie more about them and not making the movie feel like it's trying to be something bigger than it is. But I still think the movie suffers from lack of decapitations, especially of that sissy kid, God I wanted him to get it.
 
Well, as I've stolen from someone else. Your editing is smooth if you don't notice that there is a cut. Do you understand? I'm not sure how to phrase that.

Anyway, I disagree about not having an establishing shot. Movies are visual too, if we took off the subtitles, I would have not had the slightest clue of what was going on. If you can tell a story without dialouge, I think you're in the right direction. You've got to break the language barrier... but thats just my opinion.
 
Sure, I understand what you mean now. But why do you dislike smooth editing? I didn't know it was such a bad thing?
 
I think the establishing shot, despite it giving visually information about location, could take the viewer out emotionally. It could be done in a way where the viewer isn't taken away from the characters and not announcing "this is a scary movie" too much. But leaving it out entirely makes it feel more of a personal journey with the characters and draws the viewer in more because the characters are all we can latch onto, making it a story about people and we're watching reactions and feeling the reactions, we're with those people, we are those kids, I'm shooting the creepy German guy in a gas mask, ok maybe getting a little carried away. But the established shot could be snuck in there, but just don't get to far from the characters, you still have to feel the shot is giving us more information about the character than the location for it to work, in this case, in my opinion.
 
Personally, I think that this was done pretty well in most parts (especially considering your age! that's just awesome). You had a lot of really uniquely composed shots that really emphasized the tension and suspense of what was to come. Made me feel like I was in a combination of a Spielberg film and a Resident Evil video game. Color correction was pretty cool most of the time. The green gave it a great unnatural feel.

The things I'd suggest watching out for next time:
-The first scene was pretty bland like mentioned before, and at first I was hazy about it also. but I'm guessing you meant it to be something of that nature. Maybe just smooth out the shots a little more next time, a little less handheld work. but keep that camera alive! I like how you didn't stick to just tripod shots. Good job.
-the editing was really smooth most of the time, and there's nothing I like more than good, smooth, continuity editing. But there were a few moments where something seemed left out. (maybe didn't shoot enough frames before a shot?)
-and obviously the kid picking up the gun. I'm not sure how many teenagers would actually pick up the gun from the guy's hand, cock it, and shoot him dead. Just remember to think more realistically for stuff like that.

one more thing...Great music for something like this. did you do it yourself? I'll assume that the last couple minutes with music were someone else. seems pretty well written and mixed.

EDIT: sorry, one more thing. I HAVE to point out the first two shots after the two kids walk into the room where the third guy got into a scuffle. The lighting and comp. in there is brilliant! Along with cc too, of course. the wind blowing through couldn't have worked out any better than it did. :)
 
Good start. Had some nice shots of long hallways, foot action at old school and bike est shot. Did someone else shoot a short at this school too? I seem to remember seeing a horror short shot there..?
 
@greeches: Oh yeah, that was just me shooting a "test" which turned out pretty good. :) It was intended to check how well the ambient light performed etc.

Oh and lawsuit boy, as you can see in the credits roll, I got all of the music from www.freeplaymusic.com :)
 
Hairypirateshank said:
I think the establishing shot, despite it giving visually information about location, could take the viewer out emotionally. It could be done in a way where the viewer isn't taken away from the characters and not announcing "this is a scary movie" too much. But leaving it out entirely makes it feel more of a personal journey with the characters and draws the viewer in more because the characters are all we can latch onto, making it a story about people and we're watching reactions and feeling the reactions, we're with those people, we are those kids, I'm shooting the creepy German guy in a gas mask, ok maybe getting a little carried away. But the established shot could be snuck in there, but just don't get to far from the characters, you still have to feel the shot is giving us more information about the character than the location for it to work, in this case, in my opinion.
Click to expand...

This is one of those "breaking the rules" statements that wouldn't fly too well with an audience of a greater mass.

I'm sorry, but the lack of an establishing shot of a KEY locale isn't very smart for ANY reason at all. I can understand that someone might be a "rookie" filmmaker, and it just wasn't there, there just wasn't time, permits, etc. ... but not including an establishing shot for "emotional" puporses isn't an intelligent move.

In fact, after downloading and rewatching the beginning twice, an establishing shot layered with a dolly or even a medium shot for the briefest of moments would've:

A) Increased aesthetic production value.
B) Given a linear path to follow, for the lack thereof derails the viewer from a solid course of action.

In this specific short, we move from homestead -> bike -> non-descript spooky place. There are a few things that say "hey, this is a school..", but I've been to an abandoned insane asylum that looks just like this. Point being, without an establishing shot of the school, we don't know where we're or where we've gone.

Without establishing shots, the viewer is completely removed from the story itself. Movies watch the same way they read. You need key information to solidify the facts in the narrative.

Aside from that, this was still an interesting little piece. I still find myself enjoying the coming of age adventure story-- I can't wait to do one myself.

I love the primary location. That school looks like the perfect place to shoot something spooky.

The first shot that you took of the inside, when you were standing on the opposite side of the pool filming the wall, was great. I expected the group to walk into the shot... that would've been perfect.

Keep at what you're doing. It's better to say "I've made something" than anything else.
 
MiniMan said:
@greeches: Oh yeah, that was just me shooting a "test" which turned out pretty good. :) It was intended to check how well the ambient light performed etc.

Oh and lawsuit boy, as you can see in the credits roll, I got all of the music from www.freeplaymusic.com :)
Click to expand...

ah ha. didn't watch all the credits. good call. :)
 
MiniMan,
Hey, sorry if someone already asked this, but, where are you from? And how long have you been shooting with a DVX? Barring the problems/oddities of the aforementioned, I was fairly impressed, and REALLY impressed with the scene of the windblowing in that room with the curtains and the smooth pan down. Definately made me appreciate the whole thing more. I feel like if you had taken the time and composition for things like that in the opening scene even, it would have made it a lot more fun to watch. Also, maybe it's just me, but the opening song didn't seem to fit the "bored" feeling. But, again, Killer short. Keep rocking!
-Luke
 
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