MrKilloran
Well-known member
Nice job!
Wonderfully Lit
The V.O. for the Bible was a little weird
Good work.
Wonderfully Lit
The V.O. for the Bible was a little weird
Good work.
BARN DANCE - John LaBonney
- Thread starter John LaBonney
- Start date
Steve Strickland
Well-known member
Nice little film here, John. Good lighting, editing, and camera work. The lead was great. A sweet story with an ending that was really moving.
The only criticism I have is of the genre, not the film itself. It didn't really seem to fit the TwilightFest vibe. Maybe it's just me.
Anyway, congrats on a well put together film. I look forward to seeing more of your work.
The only criticism I have is of the genre, not the film itself. It didn't really seem to fit the TwilightFest vibe. Maybe it's just me.
Anyway, congrats on a well put together film. I look forward to seeing more of your work.
Brandon Rice
Distributed Producer
John,
I really enjoyed your film... the music and songs were perfect... the kid was well cast. I am a little iffy on the "devil" casting... the movie looked good, and I loved that final shot...
very heartwarming film, one of the standouts of this festival for me. Great work!
I really enjoyed your film... the music and songs were perfect... the kid was well cast. I am a little iffy on the "devil" casting... the movie looked good, and I loved that final shot...
very heartwarming film, one of the standouts of this festival for me. Great work!
I really enjoyed this. It has something earnest/wholesome at its core that’s really appealing. It “feels good” to watch it. The location, the kids, the down home music. All of it works.
Specifics:
Nice Grabby opening with the music and shot of the Barn.
I think the title over the barn itself might be nice? Or during the first few shots of dancing? Fine the way you have it. Just that the first few shots are showing us a Barn dance, so …
Would have liked the music EQued as if really playing in the space with crowd noise. Would have grounded the film in reality a little more.
Emotional beat missing for me in the first scene. I see that he likes the girl and is a little nervous about it. Would have liked to see him looking a little more down at the end of that scene. Thinking it would never work. As it is, throwing the bible down around 1:30 doesn’t feel connected to what he wants, and in fact it’s not clear exactly what he wants, since we haven’t seen him being down about not getting it – the girl or walking. We need a scene where he says he wants the girl but it won’t work, or to see him being frustrated about it I think. Or see her notice the wheel chair in a way that he takes wrong. Something. I know I know, “Jack he obviously wants the girl” yes true, but how bad we don’t know and that dot doesn’t seem connected to the dot of throwing the bible down. Perhaps some montagey editing during the praying? Some flashes of her young shiny beatific face to show what he wants – what he’s praying about?
Another idea off the top of the head, overlap the prayer with the barn dance, end with his nervous closeup looking at the girl, cut to throwing the bible down.
Nice reveal on the devil character. Really effective.
Devil himself is a bit too Evilish at times for me. (hear me out) There’s a lot of ways to go with a devil character and I think he’d present himself as more benign and appealing if he wants to entice me into doing something. I don’t think he’d want to remind me he’s the bad guy and yell at me. It does work though as he’s not over the top and looks a little like the popular idea of what Jesus looked like.
The shot at the end, the pullback, is movie magic. You really captured a nice moment with her smile and the pullback reveal works great. Is this a zoom? Or part zoom and part dolly? Either way it works really, really well.
I think some color and sound work could take this film to another level. For an even higher level, maybe look at ways with the editing to tie wanting the girl to throwing the bible down.
Really enjoyed it. Really glad you made it.
:beer:
Specifics:
Nice Grabby opening with the music and shot of the Barn.
I think the title over the barn itself might be nice? Or during the first few shots of dancing? Fine the way you have it. Just that the first few shots are showing us a Barn dance, so …
Would have liked the music EQued as if really playing in the space with crowd noise. Would have grounded the film in reality a little more.
Emotional beat missing for me in the first scene. I see that he likes the girl and is a little nervous about it. Would have liked to see him looking a little more down at the end of that scene. Thinking it would never work. As it is, throwing the bible down around 1:30 doesn’t feel connected to what he wants, and in fact it’s not clear exactly what he wants, since we haven’t seen him being down about not getting it – the girl or walking. We need a scene where he says he wants the girl but it won’t work, or to see him being frustrated about it I think. Or see her notice the wheel chair in a way that he takes wrong. Something. I know I know, “Jack he obviously wants the girl” yes true, but how bad we don’t know and that dot doesn’t seem connected to the dot of throwing the bible down. Perhaps some montagey editing during the praying? Some flashes of her young shiny beatific face to show what he wants – what he’s praying about?
Another idea off the top of the head, overlap the prayer with the barn dance, end with his nervous closeup looking at the girl, cut to throwing the bible down.
Nice reveal on the devil character. Really effective.
Devil himself is a bit too Evilish at times for me. (hear me out) There’s a lot of ways to go with a devil character and I think he’d present himself as more benign and appealing if he wants to entice me into doing something. I don’t think he’d want to remind me he’s the bad guy and yell at me. It does work though as he’s not over the top and looks a little like the popular idea of what Jesus looked like.
The shot at the end, the pullback, is movie magic. You really captured a nice moment with her smile and the pullback reveal works great. Is this a zoom? Or part zoom and part dolly? Either way it works really, really well.
I think some color and sound work could take this film to another level. For an even higher level, maybe look at ways with the editing to tie wanting the girl to throwing the bible down.
Really enjoyed it. Really glad you made it.
:beer:
John LaBonney
Well-known member
Jack,
Thanks for taking a look. I'm really happy you liked it. Your comments are very insightful and are very much appreciated. I agree with much of your analysis.
The final shot is a zoom. Jeremiah set the HVX up to shoot in slow motion to reduce the speed of the zoom-out some. We used the remote to do the zoom to avoid touching the camera during the shot. I agree, this is my favorite shot in the film.
Thanks so much!!!
alex whitmer
Veteran
Mirror much of what Jack had to say. There was a disconnect from the dance to the bible getting tossed.
In that respect it feels more like a prop to deliver the film's message than a real integral part of the character's struggle. I also believe the message of the film could have been delievered with any number of good vs evil philosophies. Nothing about that particular book had a clear purpose other than a 'rabbit's foot' hope.
Agree also Satan didn't come across as working very hard to get that soul. It was a take it or leave it arrogance which made it too easy for the boy to choose.
I don't think the film would suffer if you axed Satan completely and found another way to show the boys anger and finally, his acceptance. The simple message is - accepting who you are no matter, and you will find happiness.
IMHO, of course.
Love the final scene. Very touching and beautifully filmed. There was plenty of opportunity to get melodramatic, and you showed esquisite restrain. Good job directing the actors through that.
As a whole this is a beautiful film with a very good message. It's very clear there is a lot of work and a lot of love and commitment poured into it, and with worthy results.
aw
In that respect it feels more like a prop to deliver the film's message than a real integral part of the character's struggle. I also believe the message of the film could have been delievered with any number of good vs evil philosophies. Nothing about that particular book had a clear purpose other than a 'rabbit's foot' hope.
Agree also Satan didn't come across as working very hard to get that soul. It was a take it or leave it arrogance which made it too easy for the boy to choose.
I don't think the film would suffer if you axed Satan completely and found another way to show the boys anger and finally, his acceptance. The simple message is - accepting who you are no matter, and you will find happiness.
IMHO, of course.
Love the final scene. Very touching and beautifully filmed. There was plenty of opportunity to get melodramatic, and you showed esquisite restrain. Good job directing the actors through that.
As a whole this is a beautiful film with a very good message. It's very clear there is a lot of work and a lot of love and commitment poured into it, and with worthy results.
aw
Susanne G.
Well-known member
Hi John,
Compliments on the location and production quality. I think this was a very solid work and you found this two leads (the boy and the girl) which where able to act. :beer:
Your story works, but I like to say and I hope that I don't be too not sensitive, but I like to be also honest. Your film was a little bit too healthy world for me. The teens seem to me that they came directly from the church, praying the whole day. The lead had to decide between good and bad. Is there nothing in the middle? A lot of good character and also a little bit bad or weak part in his character - simple, a touch more coloured and less moral like! It would make the story more intrigues!
Susanne
Compliments on the location and production quality. I think this was a very solid work and you found this two leads (the boy and the girl) which where able to act. :beer:
Your story works, but I like to say and I hope that I don't be too not sensitive, but I like to be also honest. Your film was a little bit too healthy world for me. The teens seem to me that they came directly from the church, praying the whole day. The lead had to decide between good and bad. Is there nothing in the middle? A lot of good character and also a little bit bad or weak part in his character - simple, a touch more coloured and less moral like! It would make the story more intrigues!
Susanne
Danielleus
Well-known member
Hey John,
Just caught the piece. I dug it and I thought the heart was in the right place. I liked the "twist" at the end and enjoyed the acting and lighting, for the most part.
This is one of few films that I thought could have used being a little longer. I thought there needed to be more development of the lead character's struggles over being in a wheelchair. Maybe seeing him pray more and having his prayer unanswered. For me that would do a number of things: it would make what the devilish character say be more potent as we could have seen his unanswered prayers and his frustration. For me it would also have emphasized this character's faith in God because since we can see his frustration we would better feel his faith when he disregards the devilish character's seductions. Also, along those lines I would have liked to see MORE of the the relationship or the attraction between the kid and the girl. Maybe a montage of different dances where they make eye contact. The one instance doesn't sell "love" for me.
So there's that. My 2 sense. Hope that helps. I did enjoy this film though and I really dig the message. I just think a like more would have helped me feel the conflict more.
Good work. Can't wait for your next piece.
Just caught the piece. I dug it and I thought the heart was in the right place. I liked the "twist" at the end and enjoyed the acting and lighting, for the most part.
This is one of few films that I thought could have used being a little longer. I thought there needed to be more development of the lead character's struggles over being in a wheelchair. Maybe seeing him pray more and having his prayer unanswered. For me that would do a number of things: it would make what the devilish character say be more potent as we could have seen his unanswered prayers and his frustration. For me it would also have emphasized this character's faith in God because since we can see his frustration we would better feel his faith when he disregards the devilish character's seductions. Also, along those lines I would have liked to see MORE of the the relationship or the attraction between the kid and the girl. Maybe a montage of different dances where they make eye contact. The one instance doesn't sell "love" for me.
So there's that. My 2 sense. Hope that helps. I did enjoy this film though and I really dig the message. I just think a like more would have helped me feel the conflict more.
Good work. Can't wait for your next piece.
pauly_the_hitman
Veteran
Hey John although we worked on this film with you knew the story and shot most of it. I am still so happy at the way it turned out. I watched it again and have to agree that the VO was a little strange for me also I don't remember reading it in the script either that or I just forgot with all the projects I was working on. Anyway I am working on the BTS getting it logged and captured. Shoot me a pm and let me know what you want me to do .
Pauly
Pauly
Ben Sliker
Pain In The Ass 2.0
Aim session. Barn dance.
Aim session. Barn dance.
Carrying on the tradition from Timefest, the AIM sessions have returned, a live stream of whatever may come out of our heads as we watch your films. Here are Ben Sliker and Brad Mates thoughts on "BARN DANCE."
8:49:32 PM Ben Sliker: BARN DANCE
8:49:54 PM Ben Sliker: rdy?
8:50:25 PM Brad Mate: ya
8:50:30 PM Ben Sliker: 3
8:50:31 PM Ben Sliker: 2
8:50:31 PM Ben Sliker: 1
8:50:32 PM Ben Sliker: go
8:50:48 PM Ben Sliker: get ready to see that intro 50 times ...
8:50:54 PM Brad Mate: great
8:50:56 PM Brad Mate: oh god
8:51:00 PM Brad Mate: country music, epic fail
8:51:14 PM Ben Sliker: country music makes me want to punch babies
8:51:29 PM Ben Sliker: these kids are rebels, sneaking up into barns to DANCE.
8:51:30 PM Brad Mate: good thing there are hot underage girls
8:51:43 PM Ben Sliker: dude ...
8:52:03 PM Ben Sliker: oh it's christian movie
8:52:16 PM Ben Sliker: must have been a "sock hop" then
8:52:20 PM Brad Mate: country and religion? is this a mccain/palin commercial?
8:52:30 PM Ben Sliker: ZING! (in what i'm sure is the first in a string of political jokes for these sessions)
8:52:31 PM Brad Mate: see what i did thar? its topical
8:52:37 PM Ben Sliker: that was a rough crane shot
8:52:45 PM Brad Mate: hail satan!
8:52:49 PM Ben Sliker: hail satan!
8:52:57 PM Ben Sliker: HE'S THE DEVIL!
8:53:04 PM Ben Sliker: GET OUT!
8:53:08 PM Ben Sliker: GET TO THE CHOPPA!
8:53:17 PM Brad Mate: you never see a devil without facial hair
8:53:31 PM Ben Sliker: that's why i'm growing a goatee
8:53:38 PM Ben Sliker: chicks dig satan
8:54:05 PM Ben Sliker: you know ... a guy named jesus took this test a while ago
8:54:12 PM Ben Sliker: he wrote about it in that book of yours.
8:54:19 PM Brad Mate: maybe he didn't get to that chapter yet.
8:54:41 PM Ben Sliker: what a superficial blee-otch ....
8:54:51 PM Brad Mate: walking like jesus ... FAIL
8:55:04 PM Ben Sliker: HE CANT DO IT CAUSE SATAN DIDNT HELP
8:55:23 PM Ben Sliker: dude just bypasses the dance and goes for hugging
8:55:29 PM Ben Sliker: this guy is my hero
8:55:30 PM Brad Mate: this movie is way too good hearted for our callow natures
8:55:41 PM Ben Sliker: i know
8:55:46 PM Ben Sliker: He's handi-CAPABLE
8:56:09 PM Brad Mate: we make movies about serial killers and the end of the world, i dont know what this guy was thinking asking our advice
8:56:17 PM Ben Sliker: i wish that country music wasn't like pushing thumbtacks into my ears.
8:56:29 PM Brad Mate: i know
8:56:48 PM Ben Sliker: it was pretty good, could have benefitted from some better lighting
8:57:00 PM Brad Mate: yeah, that was the only glaring problem i had with it
8:57:02 PM Ben Sliker: def. the feelgood story of the fest
8:57:22 PM Brad Mate: what were the rules to this fest? it had to have a twist?
8:57:30 PM Ben Sliker: it had to have a ball
8:57:40 PM Ben Sliker: and be "twilight" based
8:57:48 PM Brad Mate: yeah...
8:58:03 PM Brad Mate: barn dance is a weak title btw
8:58:28 PM Ben Sliker: that's only because we spend way to much time trying to think up of witty and deep titles
8:58:47 PM Brad Mate: well it should have somethign to do with the story and not the setting
8:59:00 PM Ben Sliker: ah good call
8:59:03 PM Brad Mate: besides the theme of dance, it doesnt really make sense as a title
8:59:13 PM Brad Mate: its not like the barn was integral for the battle of souls
8:59:24 PM Ben Sliker: you speak truths
John, you are killing us. Ask us to do an AIM session on your film means we were making fun of A. a handicapped kid or B. religion. I hope we made it out with offending too many people. IMHO, and from reading your thread, it sounds like putting this whole thing together was somewhat of a logistical nightmare, (location, kids, buses, etc.) and I think that your production value may have suffered a bit because of it. I think you could have scaled it back a bit and achieved much more. I believe the lighting for the beginning was too bright and soap-opera-ish, which didn't set up this young man's intimate story very well. It also felt like a music video because of the lack of ambient sound. I think that song should have sounded like it was coming out of a 80's style boombox in the corner.
Like I said in the session, it's the feel-good story of the fest, slightly nudging out the cheeseball ending of "A Work of Art." I'd like to see something from you that is smaller scale and has more emphasis on the production value.
Good work! Cheers!
Aim session. Barn dance.
Carrying on the tradition from Timefest, the AIM sessions have returned, a live stream of whatever may come out of our heads as we watch your films. Here are Ben Sliker and Brad Mates thoughts on "BARN DANCE."
8:49:32 PM Ben Sliker: BARN DANCE
8:49:54 PM Ben Sliker: rdy?
8:50:25 PM Brad Mate: ya
8:50:30 PM Ben Sliker: 3
8:50:31 PM Ben Sliker: 2
8:50:31 PM Ben Sliker: 1
8:50:32 PM Ben Sliker: go
8:50:48 PM Ben Sliker: get ready to see that intro 50 times ...
8:50:54 PM Brad Mate: great
8:50:56 PM Brad Mate: oh god
8:51:00 PM Brad Mate: country music, epic fail
8:51:14 PM Ben Sliker: country music makes me want to punch babies
8:51:29 PM Ben Sliker: these kids are rebels, sneaking up into barns to DANCE.
8:51:30 PM Brad Mate: good thing there are hot underage girls
8:51:43 PM Ben Sliker: dude ...
8:52:03 PM Ben Sliker: oh it's christian movie
8:52:16 PM Ben Sliker: must have been a "sock hop" then
8:52:20 PM Brad Mate: country and religion? is this a mccain/palin commercial?
8:52:30 PM Ben Sliker: ZING! (in what i'm sure is the first in a string of political jokes for these sessions)
8:52:31 PM Brad Mate: see what i did thar? its topical
8:52:37 PM Ben Sliker: that was a rough crane shot
8:52:45 PM Brad Mate: hail satan!
8:52:49 PM Ben Sliker: hail satan!
8:52:57 PM Ben Sliker: HE'S THE DEVIL!
8:53:04 PM Ben Sliker: GET OUT!
8:53:08 PM Ben Sliker: GET TO THE CHOPPA!
8:53:17 PM Brad Mate: you never see a devil without facial hair
8:53:31 PM Ben Sliker: that's why i'm growing a goatee
8:53:38 PM Ben Sliker: chicks dig satan
8:54:05 PM Ben Sliker: you know ... a guy named jesus took this test a while ago
8:54:12 PM Ben Sliker: he wrote about it in that book of yours.
8:54:19 PM Brad Mate: maybe he didn't get to that chapter yet.
8:54:41 PM Ben Sliker: what a superficial blee-otch ....
8:54:51 PM Brad Mate: walking like jesus ... FAIL
8:55:04 PM Ben Sliker: HE CANT DO IT CAUSE SATAN DIDNT HELP
8:55:23 PM Ben Sliker: dude just bypasses the dance and goes for hugging
8:55:29 PM Ben Sliker: this guy is my hero
8:55:30 PM Brad Mate: this movie is way too good hearted for our callow natures
8:55:41 PM Ben Sliker: i know
8:55:46 PM Ben Sliker: He's handi-CAPABLE
8:56:09 PM Brad Mate: we make movies about serial killers and the end of the world, i dont know what this guy was thinking asking our advice
8:56:17 PM Ben Sliker: i wish that country music wasn't like pushing thumbtacks into my ears.
8:56:29 PM Brad Mate: i know
8:56:48 PM Ben Sliker: it was pretty good, could have benefitted from some better lighting
8:57:00 PM Brad Mate: yeah, that was the only glaring problem i had with it
8:57:02 PM Ben Sliker: def. the feelgood story of the fest
8:57:22 PM Brad Mate: what were the rules to this fest? it had to have a twist?
8:57:30 PM Ben Sliker: it had to have a ball
8:57:40 PM Ben Sliker: and be "twilight" based
8:57:48 PM Brad Mate: yeah...
8:58:03 PM Brad Mate: barn dance is a weak title btw
8:58:28 PM Ben Sliker: that's only because we spend way to much time trying to think up of witty and deep titles
8:58:47 PM Brad Mate: well it should have somethign to do with the story and not the setting
8:59:00 PM Ben Sliker: ah good call
8:59:03 PM Brad Mate: besides the theme of dance, it doesnt really make sense as a title
8:59:13 PM Brad Mate: its not like the barn was integral for the battle of souls
8:59:24 PM Ben Sliker: you speak truths
John, you are killing us. Ask us to do an AIM session on your film means we were making fun of A. a handicapped kid or B. religion. I hope we made it out with offending too many people.
IMHO, and from reading your thread, it sounds like putting this whole thing together was somewhat of a logistical nightmare, (location, kids, buses, etc.) and I think that your production value may have suffered a bit because of it. I think you could have scaled it back a bit and achieved much more. I believe the lighting for the beginning was too bright and soap-opera-ish, which didn't set up this young man's intimate story very well. It also felt like a music video because of the lack of ambient sound. I think that song should have sounded like it was coming out of a 80's style boombox in the corner. Like I said in the session, it's the feel-good story of the fest, slightly nudging out the cheeseball ending of "A Work of Art." I'd like to see something from you that is smaller scale and has more emphasis on the production value.
Good work! Cheers!
Mike Manning
Well-known member
Hey! I resemble that remark!
John LaBonney
Well-known member
Thanks for your comments, I agree we could have used a little more development time. Michelle and I have been arguing the past few days over going out to film an additional scene that would a) put more emphasis on Joey being in the chair, and b) more clearly define his desire for Donna. We might do it; I actually had such a scene written but knew we couldn't fit it in on the production day. But Michelle wants to go out and film it before we submit other festivals. I don't know if maybe I should just call Barn Dance finished and move on or if we should try to tack on this scene. I'd better hurry up and make up my mind before Aaron grows up too much and starts shaving.
John LaBonney
Well-known member
I came up with the idea for the voice over after shooting the bedroom scene because I wanted to punch it up. Joey on the bed reading the bible was a little boring. I originally had a After Effects composition with bible pages fading in and out over Joey praying, but the scene got too busty that way.
Thanks again Pauly, I can't wait to work with you guys again.
John
John LaBonney
Well-known member
Thank you so much for making Barn Dance your first AIM session of the fest. I'm really glad you've decided to continue this tradition and I had a great time reading your chat. I laughed so hard snot came out of my nose. Really great!
Richard J. Johnson
Joystick Member
I re-watched this and many others today. Great film. It needed a second viewing to be fully appreciated by me and wife. good job.
Mark Johnson
The Dude Abides
John,
I'm really pleased with your entry and all you've done. I will be doing a review for you soon, but wanted to just mention that I really appreciate your attitude and enthusiasm. I also wanted to say how much I appreciate having Michelle jump on board in such a big way. I'm really excited to see what you guys shoot next.
I'm really pleased with your entry and all you've done. I will be doing a review for you soon, but wanted to just mention that I really appreciate your attitude and enthusiasm. I also wanted to say how much I appreciate having Michelle jump on board in such a big way. I'm really excited to see what you guys shoot next.