"AWAKE" dvx user premiere, first 1.5min
- Thread starter scharky
- Start date
235 Studios
Veteran
scharky said:
Nope - that's what death is for - the great long sleep. I'll catch up on my sleep then. For now, I've got things to do and life to live. No time for sleep. :thumbsup:
Scharky,
How sweet the fruit of your labor. Your style is very unique and compelling. It fits in perfectly with your theme and story.
Add another PM to your list and one official sale of your DVD! The work looks super. Of course, as you have already imagined, the technical questions will soon come at you once we have a chance to look at the whole short.
Congratulations on your focus and perseverence! Great job!
How sweet the fruit of your labor. Your style is very unique and compelling. It fits in perfectly with your theme and story.
Add another PM to your list and one official sale of your DVD! The work looks super. Of course, as you have already imagined, the technical questions will soon come at you once we have a chance to look at the whole short.
Congratulations on your focus and perseverence! Great job!
I just viewed the film in it's entirety. Lots of really good stuff. One thing I'm not sure of though, is if there is supposed to be audible dialogue between the two supporting characters in the end. If so, I didn't hear it.
One key thing I noticed was the exact opposite of a common problem. The dialogue. It was almost too clean. I'm guessing it was ADR. It was too perfect. If there is a way to "dirty" it up a bit, you may want to consider it. If you ever saw Primer, that was another one with absolutely prestine audio.
Unless it goes against your creative vision for the film, I thought some foley on the park bench might be needed. I think it could make the yawn much heavier. Unless, of course, the emphasis is on the music and imagery, then I totally understand.
Anyway, I thought it looked great, and I wish you luck.
One key thing I noticed was the exact opposite of a common problem. The dialogue. It was almost too clean. I'm guessing it was ADR. It was too perfect. If there is a way to "dirty" it up a bit, you may want to consider it. If you ever saw Primer, that was another one with absolutely prestine audio.
Unless it goes against your creative vision for the film, I thought some foley on the park bench might be needed. I think it could make the yawn much heavier. Unless, of course, the emphasis is on the music and imagery, then I totally understand.
Anyway, I thought it looked great, and I wish you luck.
rawfa
Veteran
I have just finished seeing the entire movie and I really enjoyed it. Nice composition, well paced, some beautifully images in the middle, cool soundtrack...hum...the only criticism I have has to do with the acting...nobody seems to be very "convincive" on their roles. In my humble opinion it's the only thing that keeps the movie from being what it really could be. Apart from that I think you have an open door to many indie film festivals.
Congratulations and keep up the good work.
Congratulations and keep up the good work.
MojoTrancer
Well-known member
I just watched it, and I have to say I enjoyed it a lot. I liked the visuals and the pace felt just right. I do agree that the acting was a bit weak. And I'm not certain, but did the actor playing John peek down at the steps real quick to see where he was going? Maybe I was looking too hard.
The ending was touching. I wasn't sure where the film was going till the end, and I was pleased with what you came up with.
Great job!
EDIT: Just realized that the beginning of my review sounds similar to rawfa's. Not intentional. I think he worded it better though.
The ending was touching. I wasn't sure where the film was going till the end, and I was pleased with what you came up with.
Great job!
EDIT: Just realized that the beginning of my review sounds similar to rawfa's. Not intentional. I think he worded it better though.
scharky
Veteran
Thanks everyone for the comments so far. Just so you all know, I have recieved 33 PM's so there is still time left. I really appreciate everyones enthusiasm.
To answer a few questions;
-About half the film was ADR. I didn't have the greatest mic placement so I redid some of the audio. Cephus, what do you think I could do to "dirty" up the audio a bit? Do the rest of you agree that the audio is too clean? This is something I was worried about, so I appreciate the feedback.
-Yes, the actors were not professional actors, they areen't even drama students, and I agree that the performance wasn't great. I do have to give them credit, as most of them did no know what they were getting into when they signed up for this thing
-Mojo, I never really noticed, I'll have to check it out if he looked down. If he did I will flog him with a stick. That one shot had like 5 different takes
I appreciate the comments, (keep em comin') and I will post in a little bit some of the technical information that people have been asking me.
Anybody else having technical problems with the .mov file?
Thanks again
Stefan
To answer a few questions;
-About half the film was ADR. I didn't have the greatest mic placement so I redid some of the audio. Cephus, what do you think I could do to "dirty" up the audio a bit? Do the rest of you agree that the audio is too clean? This is something I was worried about, so I appreciate the feedback.
-Yes, the actors were not professional actors, they areen't even drama students, and I agree that the performance wasn't great. I do have to give them credit, as most of them did no know what they were getting into when they signed up for this thing
-Mojo, I never really noticed, I'll have to check it out if he looked down. If he did I will flog him with a stick. That one shot had like 5 different takes
I appreciate the comments, (keep em comin') and I will post in a little bit some of the technical information that people have been asking me.
Anybody else having technical problems with the .mov file?
Thanks again
Stefan
deepthought21
Member
Just watched it. WOW! Awesome job! PM sent, I'd love to see the full film.
bokser
Active member
Just saw the whole film...scharky said:
Film was really cool and eerie, you def have a cool visual style for this piece.
The music was fantastic.. and the sound effects crisp... actually too crisp, since all the sound seemed seperate and not in a final mix where it would blend more seemlessly... and the ADR stuff was very noticable... I would just make a better mix to correct for the sound and maybe add more bg sfx in.
Also the acting was good by the lead and weak by the other 2 characters... but I felt the lead sold it.
ianfreeze
Member
i have to agree with most of the previous posts. the one about the audio and the acting. the composition was awesome, the visual effects and cc'ing was great. one thing i would say, is it seemed to be more form over function. the style was excellent, whereas the story seemed a bit lacking. this has more to do with ones overall take on film making. i personally think that wild visuals cant compensate for a lacking story. not that the story was bad, just that there isnt a whole lot to it. granted, this is a short and character development and things of that sort ot very tough to do in a short. with that being said id like to just reiterate that this has more to do with your philosophy on making movies and personal preferance and has nothing to do with the technical merits of your movie. the editing was great and like i said, the visuals were awesome. if you could apply your technical skills to a strong script, youd come out with a sure fire winner.
how many fillms have you made before this one?
how many fillms have you made before this one?
bokser said:
Yeah, I think the key to dirtying up the audio is blending it in as much as you can with the ambience. It's funny, when recording audio, you want as little ambience as possible, and now you need more. I'll need to give it a second watch to be more specific, but that may be enough to get you started. Lay a room tone track down over the dialogue if you haven't already done so and see if that helps. If you have, try a bit more. I'll watch it again and see if I can't get more specific.
235 Studios
Veteran
Others have said it well so i will not repeat their suggestions, other then to say that I agree with them. Here are my thoughts that are hopefully different from what has been posted.
Title sequence: :thumbup: :thumbup:
I liked it, very creative, and I liked how it morphed into the alam clock. Well Done.
Score: :thumbup: :thumbup:
I'm loving that bass! (I had it blasting, as per your instructions, but had to turn it down as I was begining to distort the audio / damage the speakers ...
I think that it fit well with the visuals, and was one of the stronger pieces of the film.
Lighting: :thumbup: :thumbup:
Great job on the lighting and use of the out doors. I felt that the majority of the film was ecposed very well, lots of range in the scenes, and the lighting helped to contribute to the overall mood, rather then distract from it.
Story: :thumbup:
This was the weakest part of the film IMHO. I liked the film, and will buy a copy from you when you've got it available. But the story is a little hard to follow - I wasn't sure quite where you were going for most of the short, and how each scene connected to the next (i know they're dream sequences, but it is nice to have some idea of what is going). The ending did clear it up some, but it could have been a little tighter. (Not that I would be any better at writting a story mind you, that's a craft I'm still figuring out ...)
Title sequence: :thumbup: :thumbup:
I liked it, very creative, and I liked how it morphed into the alam clock. Well Done.
Score: :thumbup: :thumbup:
I'm loving that bass! (I had it blasting, as per your instructions, but had to turn it down as I was begining to distort the audio / damage the speakers ...
I think that it fit well with the visuals, and was one of the stronger pieces of the film.
Lighting: :thumbup: :thumbup:
Great job on the lighting and use of the out doors. I felt that the majority of the film was ecposed very well, lots of range in the scenes, and the lighting helped to contribute to the overall mood, rather then distract from it.
Story: :thumbup:
This was the weakest part of the film IMHO. I liked the film, and will buy a copy from you when you've got it available. But the story is a little hard to follow - I wasn't sure quite where you were going for most of the short, and how each scene connected to the next (i know they're dream sequences, but it is nice to have some idea of what is going). The ending did clear it up some, but it could have been a little tighter. (Not that I would be any better at writting a story mind you, that's a craft I'm still figuring out ...)
Ramon Boutviseth
Well-known member
thanks for pming me the link. Ok I just got done watching it. Here are my thoughts, I enjoyed it visually but I think the story was lacking a bit. Granted its hard to come up with a good story in such a short amount of time but I think you did alright. I will say that it was a little hard to follow. near the end I thought he was still dreaming... because there was no kind of transition, it just jumps to the present day where he is walking. I think that a flash or soundfx, maybe some dialogue will help us GET to that point. Ok here goes..
VISUALS:
The visuals are one of the best I've seen from the dvx, I'm a bit jealous, cuz I'm pretty obsess with the visuals for my movies. Very good composition, nice coloring, effects. I see you have alot of close ups which I like. Overall, it looks like a real movie for me.
AUDIO:
Audio quality is good, you can tell in the beginning that its ADR, I wouldn't know how to fix that, maybe add little reverb, or room tone? Audio is the biggest weakness for me. The scene where he is in the bedroom, that's good makeup, a little more SFX to make it more scary!
ACTING:
The lead guy did good. The two didn't do TOO bad. I think its convincing enough but you can tell the two character are inexperience. But hey I work with alot of people that don't act so I can't say much for myself.
I hope I wasn't being too harsh. I'm still learning about this business of filmmaking and I hate it when people watch my movies and there are not honest about their opinions. SO I give you my honest critques/comments!
Overall bro, keep filming, like i said the visuals are stunning.
VISUALS:
The visuals are one of the best I've seen from the dvx, I'm a bit jealous, cuz I'm pretty obsess with the visuals for my movies. Very good composition, nice coloring, effects. I see you have alot of close ups which I like. Overall, it looks like a real movie for me.
AUDIO:
Audio quality is good, you can tell in the beginning that its ADR, I wouldn't know how to fix that, maybe add little reverb, or room tone? Audio is the biggest weakness for me. The scene where he is in the bedroom, that's good makeup, a little more SFX to make it more scary!
ACTING:
The lead guy did good. The two didn't do TOO bad. I think its convincing enough but you can tell the two character are inexperience. But hey I work with alot of people that don't act so I can't say much for myself.
I hope I wasn't being too harsh. I'm still learning about this business of filmmaking and I hate it when people watch my movies and there are not honest about their opinions. SO I give you my honest critques/comments!
Overall bro, keep filming, like i said the visuals are stunning.
It's hard to make too many critical comments because you've done such an amazing job on this project.
The Good...
Looks very filmish (good color correcting), lighting was incredible, composition good. Soundtrack was very strong and well placed. Pacing and editing was very tight!
The Bad...
Thought the storyline was weak (I'm still not exactly sure what happened). Like others have posted, the acting was not convincing.
Please tell how you achieved the jerky movements of the main actor. Reminded me of the scary girls movements in "The Grudge".
The Good...
Looks very filmish (good color correcting), lighting was incredible, composition good. Soundtrack was very strong and well placed. Pacing and editing was very tight!
The Bad...
Thought the storyline was weak (I'm still not exactly sure what happened). Like others have posted, the acting was not convincing.
Please tell how you achieved the jerky movements of the main actor. Reminded me of the scary girls movements in "The Grudge".
theHeadlessPuppy
Active member
I enjoyed this a lot. For a start your visual style is very clever and unique, and the way you make the story flow is really nice. I thought acting was okay, it didn't distract me from the content which is what it counts. The CC was top-notch and I think the 'time warp' effect was very well done and approppriate.
Dare I say, most people would have done this in a lame, boring way - the easy way out for most film makers with little talent and a good idea, yet you managed to compose it in a very interesting way. I also checked your previous work and this is by far the best you've done - by a long shot.
I'll try to think of things I didn't like, but first time round couldn't find anything.
*SPOILERS*
I loved the correlations you placed in the film, like the cat in the dream and then in nightmare. The way we're told the bum was just imagining he had a family - faceless people, that's what they were to him, just like he was to them. It's this type of creativity that makes indie films interesting.
Dare I say, most people would have done this in a lame, boring way - the easy way out for most film makers with little talent and a good idea, yet you managed to compose it in a very interesting way. I also checked your previous work and this is by far the best you've done - by a long shot.
I'll try to think of things I didn't like, but first time round couldn't find anything.
*SPOILERS*
I loved the correlations you placed in the film, like the cat in the dream and then in nightmare. The way we're told the bum was just imagining he had a family - faceless people, that's what they were to him, just like he was to them. It's this type of creativity that makes indie films interesting.
Beat Takeshi
Two-Hip Shakur
Great work dude. The audio was really good I had my M-audio Bx8s cranked way up and had my windows rattling and things falling off the shelves.
I really liked "the Cell" part of it and the effects. Im guessing either you did time lapse or had him moving reallllllly slow to get the look when it was sped up like i did in that zombie test.
I had the same issues like everyone else did with the ADR and i think it just needs some room tone and bring it down a notch. Also the ending park scene sounds like a mustang was driving around here and there. Kind of distracting from the story. When I heard it I was waiting for it to drive in to the frame at some point and when I didnt see it I kept thinking about it taking me out of the story. You should scrap that audio and use foley.
I think the ending needed something to more to drag down the mood. While I was thinking about the car and watching at first I didnt know that was the same girl. Then when I figured it out it didnt seem to hit me that she was with someone else now. I think that scene should have had them hug and kiss and look really ****ing happy together. Then when she sees him the change of emotion would read better. I liked his stone face through out that scene. It made me feel more that he was a bum and was numb to things.
The shots were really good I thought. They flowed nicely and kept the story moving for me.
The CC was well done showing the different times we were in. At first I didnt like it but after we see him as a bum it all came together for me.
All in all I think you did a good job and I wish you the best of luck with this.
Thank you for letting me preview this for you.
I really liked "the Cell" part of it and the effects. Im guessing either you did time lapse or had him moving reallllllly slow to get the look when it was sped up like i did in that zombie test.
I had the same issues like everyone else did with the ADR and i think it just needs some room tone and bring it down a notch. Also the ending park scene sounds like a mustang was driving around here and there. Kind of distracting from the story. When I heard it I was waiting for it to drive in to the frame at some point and when I didnt see it I kept thinking about it taking me out of the story. You should scrap that audio and use foley.
I think the ending needed something to more to drag down the mood. While I was thinking about the car and watching at first I didnt know that was the same girl. Then when I figured it out it didnt seem to hit me that she was with someone else now. I think that scene should have had them hug and kiss and look really ****ing happy together. Then when she sees him the change of emotion would read better. I liked his stone face through out that scene. It made me feel more that he was a bum and was numb to things.
The shots were really good I thought. They flowed nicely and kept the story moving for me.
The CC was well done showing the different times we were in. At first I didnt like it but after we see him as a bum it all came together for me.
All in all I think you did a good job and I wish you the best of luck with this.
Thank you for letting me preview this for you.