Aspiring filmmaker looking for feedback

C

cmckinlay

Member
Hey DVX,
I am an aspiring filmmaker, like most of us on this site, and I have two short films I create for a cinematography class I took. I would love any and all feedback you have to offer. What you liked, what you didn't like. What I can improve upon to become a better shooter and editor etc.
The goal of these projects were to develop a character or multiple characters in under 5 minutes without the use of dialogue. The first one was shot completely on a GoPro and the second one was shot on my 7D!
Enjoy!

 
Didnt liked POV one at all(personal taste) in second one your color correction is inconsistent , sometimes its more blue and sometimes its more orange also i didnt like that you shot from side on the beginning with such odd framing leaving so much space visible, framing is simply bad, like if you decided to use cinemascope after you shot this.
When you framed woman's close up on head then there is nothing on the wall behind her, this looks very flat and unappealing, you should care more about this and you should put something on the wall to compensate instead of leaving this ugly empty space.
Also there is completely zero camera movement and it feels odd with this last decision crop to cinemascope cause you could of saved some shots with camera movement but you left it on tripod.
Recommend:
http://www.hollywoodcamerawork.us/
 
bwwd said:
Didnt liked POV one at all(personal taste) in second one your color correction is inconsistent , sometimes its more blue and sometimes its more orange also i didnt like that you shot from side on the beginning with such odd framing leaving so much space visible, framing is simply bad, like if you decided to use cinemascope after you shot this.
When you framed woman's close up on head then there is nothing on the wall behind her, this looks very flat and unappealing, you should care more about this and you should put something on the wall to compensate instead of leaving this ugly empty space.
Also there is completely zero camera movement and it feels odd with this last decision crop to cinemascope cause you could of saved some shots with camera movement but you left it on tripod.
Recommend:
http://www.hollywoodcamerawork.us/
Click to expand...

Bwwd,
I feel that this entire critique is kinda bullshit. Could at least try and take this kid's feeling into consideration, he is openly asking for help from the community. I didn't know that your work is so great that you could just slam people asking for advice. Perhaps next time you leave feed back you can make the minimum effort to leave your interjections as to how ugly shots are or that things are "simply bad". As I am unable to see the video at this time I cannot comment on the work myself. All I can say is I'll be leaving an adult feedback on it as soon I can get a look at it.
Also if you're interested in seeing examples of great work on here, check out the Being Cinematic thread, it's probably the most information on filming that I have seen outside a book on shooting.
 
So for the critique,
I think that the first video could have been a little faster with the beginning, so you really launch into the story of the relationship before the audience gets bored. It was a really cute piece and I like the wake up and sleep transitions. As far as cinematography there's not much to say because it's all one gag, and I don't think there's . It is a really cute piece.

On the second piece a closer attention needs to be paid to the eye-line, when you crop for a cinemascope framing try to move the composition to adjust for any error in the framing. You can also mask an LCD protector over the screen with some frame lines so you know where you may lose a persons head. Most of the basic rules of framing like this are in the "Being Cinematic" thread in the Cinematography section on DVXUser. You'll see great examples of when to frame and why. The only major thing I would say is to watch out for unmotivated color grading, Ashes has a lot of extreme grades that feel unmotivated, and they change during the scene (the closing shot of the fridge is a good example as it doesn't match the rest of the footage. The edits can hit a little bit faster too, but I think that will come naturally, it seems like you leave the tail on a few shots in Ashes, especially in the shopping cart scene.
 
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