Anxiety watcing movies with new friends/girlfriends.

Adam J McKay

Veteran
So the other day while watching Stand By Me, one of my favorite films, I found myself peering over at a friend of mine to watch their reaction at various points during the filim. I sometimes get anxiety when watching some of my favorite movies with friends, because I think I am afraid of them hating it. Example, I really truly don't think I could date a girl who thought American Beauty was ****. I dont know. Im I odd? Or do others feel the same way?
 
Get a girl who hates the moves you watch and versa vise or better yet doesn't even care about them.
 
after being with my wife for 10 years, married for 6, i still prefer to watch movies alone. yet, i can't watch MST3K without her. we both watched it before we met, and we get it. that's what works for us.

i hate watching movies with friends. they never seem to get it quite like i do. i'm being sarcastic, but kind of honest...movies are VERY personal to me. i think that's how you're feeling.

Chris
 
You're certainly not alone. I've been with my girlfriend for quite a few years, and we watch movies together sometimes; but only the ones where our interests definitely overlap. She knows romantic comedies are always going to be a private endeavor, well made independents on a budget that showcase a lot of filmmaking talent but are kind of boring are for me to watch alone. Things like Terminator are neutral ground. That's just how these things tend to work, and I'm glad it's that way. It would be worse if we had the same taste in everything, partly because I wouldn't be able to harass her for entertainment choices and partly because it would seem like a bigger difference when we did disagree.
 
yet, i can't watch MST3K without her.

That's funny. MST3K is the one thing my wife and I can't watch together. I still remember the first time I said "You've got to see this show." After she analyzed the third joke in a row to explain to me why it didn't make sense I shut it off.


Back to the original topic, I generally assume that people who don't have the same taste in film as I do just don't have any vision. :evil:
 
I watch most movies with my wife. but since she helps me make movies, it's sort of a given that, while we don't have the same taste, we can appreciate a film's strengths and weaknesses whether we both like it or not.

Although I don't think she'll ever watch the Godfather again. I kind of burned her out on that one.

We actually schedule screenings of films at my house with other local filmmakers to analyze, criticize and break them down. But it has to be people that we know and respect, who don't get offended when their ideas are challenged.
 
So the other day while watching Stand By Me, one of my favorite films, I found myself peering over at a friend of mine to watch their reaction at various points during the filim. I sometimes get anxiety when watching some of my favorite movies with friends, because I think I am afraid of them hating it.

Yeah, I get that way too. I praised the HELL out of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind to my sister, brother-in-law and my gf. I freaking LOVE this movie. Well, all 3 were BORED as hell. Pissed me off frankly. Like, how can you NOT see the awesomeness of this movie? They thought it was good but in a kinda borning and sorta like, umm, whats the point kinda way? WHAT?!?!? The story. The editing. The acting. The direction etc.

So yeah, I totally get it.

Thing is, I learned to try to not take it personally (doesn't always work). My gf and I have been together for 5 years and shes a definite keeper but she is 10 years younger than me. So, our tastes are going to be different. But my mantra with her is "I don't care if its black and white, in subtitles, from the silent era or whatever. A good movie is a good movie so please just give it a chance." This is my schpiel when I am popping something into the DVD player that I KNOW is going to incite a groan or eye roll. Then I say, "please, just give it 10 minutes for me". And, I honor that. If she isn't getting into it after 10 minutes, I'll pop it out. But 90% of the time, a good movie is a good movie and she will be sucked right in. Mission accomplished. But yeah, I stress sometimes.

Hell, I still can't get her to watch STAR WARS. Moves too slowly for her. WTF?
 
I don't have this problem as most of my friends, and my wife have similar tastes. And even when we disagree, it's usually on those films of mid-range quality, that I might think are okay, and they hated, but aren't worth defending. But most of my friends are pretty hard core movie buffs. I imagine it would be harder if my friends were casual moviegoers. Casual moviegoers tend to have more idiosyncratic tastes that aren't based on film appreciation. Their opinions are based on things like, I hate that actor's face or, there are no hot chicks in it.
 
Ya, I find it especially hard if someone lays into me for how much something sucked and tells me I should be watching movies like Max Payne, or 21... Wow. Actually, that's not hard at all as I can see why they might not enjoy a film that requires thought.
 
Back
Top