"Analog"

Here's another (of Signore Pauly the Hitman):

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Hey man,

Just watched your short and I was fascinated by it.

I liked the music, I'm guessing it's just some friends bands you know and you got to use their music? If so, there pretty damn good..

You have a great vision, and the shots you chose for this are very well done, and they were chosen correctly, at the right times needed.

Thanks for sharing,

Robbie
 
all i have to say is finalist baby.

dude this made me nearly cry, but i didnt being a macho man and all
*cough-cough*
the way it was shot and edited was great, the color grading was bad ass.
the only thing i could probably say i would try diff. would be when hes talking to paul have the trains sound go down to a low hum that sounds like BG wind almost. but its still effective either way. Jerry your acting is phenomenal. you and lisa are gonna have genetically perfect babies for film dude no joke!

loved the motif BTW
 
Really enjoyed this one.

You really had me with the opening music and images. Really felt "of a whole" and I was sucked in right away. Loved the music with the reel to reel imagery and the backward forward tape sounds in the score.

Something about the red/pink/orange palette of the gas station seemed a bit jarring coming out of the sepia opening of his house. Maybe find a happy medium between the sepia and the color grading of the gas station for that establishing shot and then have the rest of the scene as you've graded it? Gas station seems a bit too saturated or poly chromatic to feel cohesive with the rest of the piece to me. I know that's partly the idea to make that stand out. But finding a way to do it that seems of a piece while being different is the challenge I guess.

Is the bagel moldy? A little hard to tell with the grading. Maybe cheat a little with some masks and selective grading here?

During the watching the video scene I found myself thinking that I really liked the couple. They're young and attractive in a non pandering way. Both have a great look and I feel like we got s sense of their lives with the clothing they wore, the way their apartment our house looks etc. And the soundtrack helps here too.

Along those lines ... gas mask on the shelf? Everything communicates in the frame. I have weird stuff in my apartment like that too. But if it's not gonna be about how artistic and quirky he is, or that's not really gonna be developed through the rest of the art direction, I would get rid of something like that featured so prominently in the shot. I thought it might pay off later or that he was some kind of weirdo. Why? I asked myself, is the filmmaker showing me that this character has a gas mask on his shelf.

SPOILERS (highlight to read)

Is he meant to be flipping a coin to decide whether or not to step onto the tracks or not? If so that kind of moment needs more coverage, not just cast off in a wide shot. Also those are the kinds of moments we should be honing in on as filmmakers. Meaning. You've shown us a lot of passiveness. You really got in there and lingered on him watching the video tapes and ruminating. All of that is passive and done for much longer can get boring due to it's inactivity. But flipping a coin is much more active. Even though he's seemingly let the coin decide, that's a cop out (on his part) he has to decide whether or not to flip the coin, whether or not to look, whether or not to do 2 out of 3 or whether to accept the first toss. All of that is active and the camera love to see characters think and vacillate. Ruminating is ok to a degree, but a film filled with moments of decision and being there to make those moments of decision will be more interesting than one that lingers in emotional states solely. You really put us in his shoes for the emotional state, but not so really for what he's about to do. No if I'm totally off and he's just tossing a rock up in the air, still there's not enough coverage or clear enough coverage for it to sink in what he's about to do. We don't get the since that he's standing on the edge of a cliff about to take a very big step. More that he's kind of moping around in the same tone / mode as the previous. We need the kind of coverage here as we have of him putting the casette tape in and listening to it. IMHO.
END SPOILER

I feel like the music when he has the casette by the pool undercuts the story for the firstt time.

It works great when we are in the more passive emotional rumination moments at the beginning. But her I feel like it should be about plot and the PRESENT action we're seeing unfold. We've finally gotten to the plot here and he's doing something active and the music seemed like a step backwards. I think you can trust your imageray and the way you've shot that scene to be more than enough. He gets the thing. He just listens to it. He's trying to figure out what to do. You're story and filmmaking is firing on all pistons here in an active way and I think the music which signals passive melancholy is a mistep back, like we are going into another rumination montage. But that world has been upset. That's his stasis. What he's been given changes the stasis. He may go back to moping around the house watching old tapes of his lover, but right now he has something active to do that moves the movie foreward. Yes he is still sad here. But you no longer need to tell us that, which is what the music does. You can just show us with the interesting scene that you've set up so well.

Love the way the church is shot and the color grading here. Really nice stuff. And the art direction of the church really fits the kind of retro hipness of the rest of it.

This was really strong work that I enjoyed very much.
:beer:
 
Robbie, Jeremiah, filthrich, Kevin,

Thanks so much for the comments!

Kevin, I like your idea about the train audio. For the revised version (when I do it), I might give that a try. I just really liked the audio we got for the train so it was hard for me to not keep it. I think I will at least make a more dramatic difference between the soft and loud.

And I agree: Jeremiah and Lisa (as well as Paul and Heather) were amazing! I wrote some stuff that could have come off pretty cheesy if it wasn't played right, but they really got into it and made it work better than I had even imagined.
 
beautiful, i hope there turns out to be more Christian films in this fest. well done loved the story, the friends calling was a mice touch.
 
beautiful imagery, lovely music, and powerful emotions. i almost teared up during the pool scene.

there were a couple awkward cuts, and certainly some unanswered questions, but overall this carried some powerful energy. bravo.
 
Nice film! I like the subtle but sombre feel the whole film carried. That opening reel shot was great. Nice imagery with the tapes and the friend calling was good. Nice addition with the Maneki Neko!

Some really nice shots throughout, some very personal ones that seemed to work really well with the story. I liked the colour grading in the film, and how the gas station scene was different - I liked that. Loved the shots in the church scene at the end.

I loved that sound when Angel#1 appeared, that was a nice touch! The sound quality throughout was very good as well - crisp and clear dialogue.

Acting was good! I enjoyed the performances, very honest and sincere and nothing out of place. Fitted the film very nicely. Good job.

The songs were great, excellent. Great songs from both artists that really contributed to your film.

Overall a really nice piece. Really complete and well put together, well thought out. Awesome.
 
I loved it. As a cinematographer I loved your artistic shots however a few seemed like they were just cool shots without purpose. The low shot in the church from behind a pew felt a little like someone was watching him and I loved it because suddenly the girl appeared. When you get that close on people you have to make sure there is a reason behind it besides it "looks cool". Maybe there is, but I didn't catch it. The look and feel overall was great! HOW MANY TRAINS DID THAT TAKE! That was awesome. Story wise, I would have liked to have a little more dialog between the girl and the guy about his beliefs to make the ending more of an impact. Over all highest vote so far!
 
I really enjoyed this one, especially the opening sequence. The grading and the old tape/shower scene was really nice. You drew me in with the main character, I felt his anguish. Nice work!
 
A very moving piece. I was moved and really felt for the character. The music just fit in every part, editing was tight, very powerful and personal touch to it.
 
OK here we go... responses as i wrote them in my notes...

Great look.
cool story... it makes sense.
Great sound track. fitting
odd girl in the end... could have gone without.

all in all I liked it and rated it high. It is a solid short and tells a nice story. I didn't see the purpose for the little girl in the end. I had already gotten the message by then so to have her show up sort of distracted me from that warm and fuzzy feel good emotion. Key point here though it that you made me feel that warm and fuzzy feel good emotion. So good job:)
 
Wow.... one I never saw coming.... powerful story, well shot, well acted, and just a solid short overall... the story really resonated with me for obvious reasons, and I also really thought the spirituality was eased in very well... not thrown in... it made sense and totally worked... the shots and cinematography worked well... thanks... another stand-out for the fest for me.
 
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