SHORT: An Early Morning Heist (2010)

SALisRaad

SALisRaad

Member
150576_1467405652720_1460929223_30984557_5088420_n .jpg




Hi, my names Sal. Long time lurker and first time poster.

This community has taught me a lot and I'm very grateful. With enough knowledge of the HDSLR game I decided to give my attempt at short film filmmaking. It would be really great to get some feedback from the community on my short film: An Early Morning Heist.

It was shot with a friends Canon T2i with a Rode Videomic, a DIY dolly, & a tripod. So this is a true beginners attempt at writing/shooting/&directing a 2 min short film.

I had tons of fun making it and I hope you all enjoy it! But don't be too hard on me! Remember, im completely new to all of this crazy narrative filmmaking :)






:)​
 
Last edited:
Thanks! :D Really appreciate it.

I used FCP's title maker, but with a downloaded font from Dafont.com
I believe the font I used was called.. Gotham Round
 
I'm gonna have to get myself some better fonts. The ones on fcp are balls. But yeah, looking forward to seeing more work from you :)
 
First shot: the first thing that catches my eye is the picture. The cellphone catches my attention when it rings.

Was it ment to be that I saw the cellphone at first ? Or it doesn't matter ?

Theoraticaly they would teach you "someone looking to the right side, you put left" But I do like it when it's the opposite.
Coincidence ? or ment to be like that ?

Funny purple windows :-p

The "Vynil Gloves" are good positioned, it's shown not to long and not to short.

Magic words "rules of direction". Watch between 00:40 and 00:53

What do you notice ? Noting ? Ok, watch again...again and again and again...

A hint: I know...streets have left turns, and again left turns and again left turns...so you're actualy driving in the oposit direction as 3 streets before... But that doesn't work in movies...
Same between 01:50 and 02:00... he comes from the right side of the screen...and enters the left side in the next shot....

The edit is nice... there's some "fluency" in it.
 
Thanks for the feedback dre!

My attempt with the opening shot was to give a bit of information for the lead character and his status with his girlfriend. I wanted the audience to know he was in a 'loving' relationship with this framed photo, maybe a bit of foreshadowing. I shot many angles of the opening shot but in the end, my cast and crew agreed the overhead shot gave a better view of all the objects on the night stand. With the majority of attention going first to the photo then snapping to the phone as it begins to ring. But it's really up to viewer which item there eyes goes to first.

& as for the character facing left or right. The room we used had the bed pushed up against the right wall. I knew to a western audience, "looking ahead" means left-to-right, but I really didn't have a choice of side to shoot in due to the bedroom placing. In the end I was very pleased. There are other instances where the lead character travels from right to left on the screen, including the final scene. Where he travels to the left as he talks on his phone but then has to slowly turn around to face whats infont of him, the opening door. My hope was the turn around from left to right would add to the climax and give the viewer a sense of fulfillment of the story. Since we began the film with the viewer facing left on the screen.

The direction for the vehicle between 00:40 and 00:53 was decided by how the van was parked in front of the lead characters home. When legally parked in front, the vans faces towards the left. I really couldn't do much about it. Unless I parked the vehicle across the street which would be unrealistic for the characters mission and race for time. When the vehicle drives forward, I needed a tracking shot. My only choice was to ride alongside it with the vehicle techinically driving on the correct side and direction of the road. If I were to track with the vehicle heading forward and traveling 'left to right' I would have had technically broken the 180 degree rule when compared to the previous shot of the 2 guys waiting alongside the vehicle.

Same goes for when the vehicle arrives at the home. I did not want the vehicle to park directly infornt of the home, which would make it face right of the screen. I felt it would destroy the feel of these sneaky and quick burglars. Parking across from the home was the best decision. & it gave me the opportunity to add an establishing shot of the home, a slight dolly to the right, and the vehicle entering the frame and obscuring the home. That shot was actually the most commented shot in my film production class. To me, consciously knowing i was directing the vehicle/characters and movement from both sides of the screen, created a sense of excitement. You'll notice throughout the film, the characters are constantly entering and leaving the frame. It was my attempt at creating off-screen space outside of the frame, while at the same time creating a hectic mood in the environment. With the audience not really knowing where in the house these burglars are running though. It made the characters actions and movements appear a bit more confident and straight forward when doing their work.

Thanks again for the feedback, i REALLY appreciate it! This is really helping me with understanding how others view and perceive my film. Very helpful. :)
 
Last edited:
remember one thing... "Fooling is not prohibited"

- move the bed the other side... have another room...another wall...other frame

- swap image verticaly...so the car drives the other way

The mistakes I mentioned are the only 2 that I noticed... maybe there are more mistakes but I didn't notice them. I watched like a "home, garden kitchen viewer" would watch :-p
 
This was an excellent film. Your dolly shots were sweet. I was about to ask which dolly you used, but I saw it was a DIY. I'm impressed with what you did. Everything was professional and it was funny as well. I'm impressed. The only thing that I noticed was when the guy was telling his friends in the van that nobody would be there for hours, he was smiling too much I think. Not sure what it was, but something seemed a little off about it. Anyway, keep up the good work!
 
Wow. Thanks Marlon! :D

Yeah, I gotta agree with you on the van scene. My lead actor and one of my crew members actually had a little 'smoking' break in between scenes. So when shooting, he was a bit more excited and 'giggly' then usual, lol. I really didnt mind since filming this was always very fun and carefree. And these guys were devoting A LOT of their time to help me make this happen.
But future film productions, I plan to control the set a lot more.
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top