6hrs by R.S. Gombos & Ady Bugnar

As i review each film, i'm going to do it on the basis of "were the filmmakers successful in accomplishing what they set out to do". so wanted to offer some constructive criticism for your short...

though it is a little muddled, I suspect the intent was to pay off the whole thing with a little play on the audience's expectations for what "six hours" would meant. that being the case, I can't really say that i find that all that interesting as an audience member. and the road to the punchline was really stretched for time. imagine cutting everything except the guy writing the note, the woman reading it, and him coming home with the clock -- the same notion could have come across in 30 seconds.

what I would have liked to see was a bit of drama between these two characters that made this strange issue with the clock meaningful to them in some way. what conflict could it be the catalyst for? you had plenty of time to tell a story, as opposed to providing multiple angles of people walking (where? we don't know), or people writing and reading (what? we don't know). as an audience we want to be engaged by the characters. and it is your responsibility to let us in!!!!

the camera work was so controlled and rigid is almost had a security camera feel to it -- with the sole exception being the slo-mo flourish you put on the man walking. that was the only shot that felt "alive". next time, take a good look at what you're shooting and ask yourself, what does this angle reveal about my characters and is this the most compelling way to shoot it?

on the flip side, I really liked your score as I have a special place in my heart for john Carpenter's theme music and this reminded me of it in many ways.
 
Last edited:
Hey, just caught the film. Pretty good for a first film. I enjoyed the look and the score to this. I like the sand covering the clock bit too. It's got a nice surrealist feel to it that I felt a lot of the movie had. The coloring of it and the score helped push this.

However, to sort of augment Zak's comment, I say "so what?" I want to know what this means to the characters, to the world even. Who are these people? What is their relationship to each other? Why does he want to get it back? What caused him to lose it? Why does she react the way she does (which isn't MUCH of a reaction, I'd say. Which is not a knock on the actress but on the story elements).

A tip on some other points: I agree with Zaks assessment on the camera angles. Also a lot of the editing could be tighter. Even if you don't to simply increase the pacing some shots felt like we entered in them a bit early. Like when he pulls open the drawer to write the paper. Just felt like it cuts, and he's standing them, waiting for the action cue and THEN goes. Things like that.

Otherwise, I like the mood and I like the tone. I just need to feel the story and characters most. But a good first film. Keep going. This is a good site to build on your filmmaking and get constructive criticism.
 
I never like giving any negative feedback because I don't like receiving it. That being said, I think if it is constructive and not just "This was terrible..." then it is better.

Let me start with this, I did like it, but I had a few issues:

1) I didn't get the story. Now, I understand with a lot of entries confusion can occur because of the short time limit. That being said you started out with I think a minute of clocks (for no apparent reason to me but to just fill up time) and didn't even take the whole 6.02. I think the story could have been a little clearer.

2) I am not sure how I feel about the music. Since this was a no dialogue short, the music takes on a bigger role than in other pieces. There were points where it just stopped altogether and soon after picked up with an entirely different tone. That being said, I did like the tones that were created for the most part.

I think that was it for that. Now some positive:

1) I liked how you paralelled the spouses with the dropping of the keys into the tray. That was clever.

2) The idea was good, overall.

In the end, I think this was a good first go at making a film. Keep it up, you are definitly on to something! Take all the constructive criticism and learn from it.
 
I think this is a great piece!! Needs a few tweaks, but really great stuff.


SPOILERS




I counted six different clocks in the opening scene, maybe a tie-in to 6 (?). I loved how the accumulative ticking built with each new clock. I would like to have seen the time work itself backwards to show six hours disappear.

Music that plays along is great!! The cuts feel a little abrupt, but it seems to work in the big picture.

I see the wife's role as showing she has NOT lost any time, in contrast to her husband. She waits patiently for him to catch up.

Kinda hard to tell what time it is when she sets the note on the table. It looks like 4:30. The next scene with the wife, the clock reads about 7 minutes to 5, or roughly 3.5 hours behind the opening clock time of approx 8:15.

I think that would have been stronger to show it a full six hours difference.

Then the husband comes home, and we have a clock with 7:15 ish, but the clock with blowing sand was 6:10 ish. Hmm.

Anyways, I see a lot of potential for this one. Really lay out a plan on what information the clocks need to reveal, and you're there.

I love all the the furniture. Nice stuff. Love the green-ish background wall. Overall, this had a very painterly feel to it, maybe along the lines of Amelie.


Really enjoyed it. Stands out as truly unique.

Alex
 
Danielleus said:
I like the sand covering the clock bit too. It's got a nice surrealist feel to it that I felt a lot of the movie had. T
Click to expand...

Hey, this comment make your film click for me. Something wasn't sitting right, but the surrealist angle is what i was missing. The flick totally reminds me of those European surrealist pics from the 60s and 70s. I can dig it. Good work.
 
I think you did a great job on this. It was a bit slow and needed more cuts from action to action but overall I got the concept and liked the way it looked visually. Good job.
-Pauly
 
Interesting film

I think the biggest piece of advice I could give would be to control your light more. You had a beautiful house to shoot in but the blow outs on the windows and doors really detracted from a film that was otherwise full of beautiful shots.

I also agree about the sand blowing off the clock shots. Very nice!
 
You made a very melancholy film. There is something who took me emotional - this, I think, is very important when you make an artistic work. The detail with the sand which is running out the clock - lovely! For the rest - I could say something more negativ, but I prefer to make motivation and hope that you will make other films with this melancholy side. Very nice.

Susanne
 
An intriguing effort. I liked the idea of actually physically going out and getting back 6 hours lost, but I felt that the theme hadn't really been developed clearly and I'm afraid you lost me. I also felt that some of the editing could have been tighter - I don't think you need to show every action (for example when he looks for the notepaper in 2 drawers and writes the note to his wife).

Some of the close-up shots were great, especially of the various clocks, but as others have said you had a severe problem at times with white balance and/or exposure. The scene with the sand blowing off the clock was wonderful.

I think there were some good ideas here, but that they needed sorting out and developing more effectively. There were the signs of great possibilities, so I look forward to more. Thanks.
 
As an abstract film, it was pretty good. Enjoyed it but was also lost at some moments. A stronger relationship between the man and the woman woul dhave been helpful and probably bring the film together. I can see this being a 20 - 30 min short.
 
I thought some of the shots drew out too long for me, but I saw where you were going with it. I loved the sand clock, and just wish there had not been so many blown out highlights. Interesting concept of getting back time.
 
Hey guys,
Well I finished the viewing of all and I just viewed this one again. Overall I thought you did a good job. The pacing for me was the toughest part. It seemed to have no real rythym which I think hurt you the most. I liked the overall look, but I think the pacing really dragged it down. Like so many others, I liked the sand blowing part... it could have been a little faster, but I liked where you were going with it. All things considered, I thought you did a very nice job and again, I think pacing was probably your biggest issue.

Keep up the good work!
 
A lot of what I feel has been said. I did watch it again.
Not entirely sure that I got it completely but I definitely like your style of film making. Very intriguing piece.

Cheers,

Mike
 
I just read your story that this is your first film and I am very impressed! There are some technical mistakes, and I did not understand the story, but your first film is much more like a film than my first was! Keep going sir!
 
Keep up the filmmaking in Romania! Make this the first of many films. I loved the sandblowing thing that you did in that shot. The pacing of the shots was a little long for me and story could have used some kind of drama or conflict to hold my attention, but you really have got some talent, keep up the good work.
 
thank you all for these nice words, I was expecting for much worse because I know my movie is not so good. Unfortunately we had only 3 weeks to do it, because I found out about Timefest in the middle of May.

About the blown out highlights, I want to ask it is wrong tehnically, because I like them, or I used to much maybe?

thanks again...
 
Woah, watch the highlights dude.

I like blown highlights too, but it's too much.

I didn't understand the story, but I'm not very smart, so that's understandable.

I liked the sand clock.

-Joe
 
Kudos for getting an entry made!

I also didn't get the story entirely. After reading your synopsis, I'm still not sure that the story came across well. It seems like the film drags on with too little action.

I thought the shot composition was pretty good. Some over-exposures, and a few jarring moments in the sound mix. I liked the half of the clock bit.

I hope that this was a good learning experience for you and look forward to your next fest entry.
 
Lovely imagery in two places. the first clock shot on the wall with the shadow on the wall was surreal and nice, and the clock reforming with the sand coming off of it was a powerful visual up until the glow effect... that kind of killed the practical.

I am curious about your choice to frame him coming home with on the right side of the frame. The cuts in the area could have been tightened a smidge but otherwise were quite cinematic.

Honestly though, most of the film was about waiting. Waiting for it to start. Waiting to find out what he wrote. Waiting and watching someone waiting. All in all, not the best experience of the fest. However totally worth it for the sands of time thing imho.
 
Opening music is really reminiscent of Tubular Bells. :thumbsup:

On the technical side, some of the shots were really blown out...bad...
Was that a freeze frame at 3:12? Looks like you needed to white balance the exteriors starting around 3:46...to...4:03.

I liked the split clock thing you did with the sand(s of time?) blowing away.

Interesting little story. Looking forward to what you do next.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top