60D - First commercial - Please let me know what you think of it :)

S

Stab

Well-known member
I have a new company (together with 1 more person) and we are making commercials / advertisement movies that should have a special or funny story so it might turn into a viral.

This is our submission for a viral commercial contest. It is about a new payment alert system for a bank that lets you know once something has changed on your bank account and the target group had to be students.

The commercial is in Dutch, but there is actually so few text that it shouldnt be hard to understand it. The message they get lets them now that their monthly scholarship is added to their account. :)

Here is the link:

http://vimeo.com/19640335

Please let me know what you think about it. I ask it on this forum cause I am curious what you think about what's going on on the screen and how it looks...

All shot with a Canon 60D, Tamron 17-50mm lens and Canon 50mm F1.8 lens.
3 Lights with softboxes and dimmers were used (our first lighting setup!)

Thanks for watching!
 
Don't understand the language nor what was happening, also the focus seemed off in a lot of spots. Not a fan of the opening scene which I felt was too dark. Don't know how long the commercials are in your country, but here in the US the average is 30 seconds so this would have to be cut.
 
You've got some great shots here. Well done!

I think the edit could be more tight - use more shot angles, if you've got them. Shots that are 3-7 secs can be trimmed to 1.5 secs or less.

Nice work!
 
life4eva said:
Don't understand the language nor what was happening, also the focus seemed off in a lot of spots. Not a fan of the opening scene which I felt was too dark. Don't know how long the commercials are in your country, but here in the US the average is 30 seconds so this would have to be cut.
Click to expand...

It is for internet use only, not for the TV.

The opening scene was actually lit very well, but we added light effects with After Effects to give it a more 'bar' kinda look. Otherwise it clearly looked to much like a 'set' in our opinion. Maybe it is too dark... Love to hear more opinions about that.

What was going on:
The students are having a great party with spanking asses and sexual tension while being drunk.

Then you see them 3 hours earlier, when they didnt have any money and feel bad that their friday evening is ruined. (students in here never have money)

Then they get a message from the bank that their monthly scholarship arrived. Also girls enter the bar that just recieved that message. Now they know what kind of evening they willl have (the opening scene)

It shows what could happen when all students use that new product of the bank that we're promoting. It maybe seem far fetched, but this is a clear stereotype of students in the Netherlands :)


Thanks for your response :)

In what shots the focus was off?
 
I'm pretty sure some of those color usages wouldn't be legal on television, so you're absolutely right to use it for internet only and not tv. It could cause some freakin' seizures, I was nauseated after the first 15 seconds had to close the video.
 
bronxjragon said:
I'm pretty sure some of those color usages wouldn't be legal on television, so you're absolutely right to use it for internet only and not tv. It could cause some freakin' seizures, I was nauseated after the first 15 seconds had to close the video.
Click to expand...

:O

Because of the light only? Maybe we should get rid of the lighting effects then...
 
way, way, WAY too long! the bar scene could be 1/4 the existing duration. the nose-picking could be half as long.

your idea is decent. your execution is horrible, the photography is fine.
 
If the idea is decent and photography is fine execution isn't horrible. Then the editing is. Seems like most of us agree it was shot fairly well.

The things that jumped out at me were

1) uneven dolly moves
2) slow editing
3) unfocused framing in the wideshot of the bar. (not necessarily out of focus but lack of focus in terms of what are we supposed to pay attention to. There is couple doing things in the background left side but it is awkward in terms of framing because we are still on the shot of the couple dancing on the bar)
4) lastly thing that bothered me was the acting. Language or not it felt like they were acting.

Overall I think it is a decent attempt, but if it is for a commercial company then I would say then they need lots of practice. (not a bad thing)
 
Never mind I take it back. You're right. After reading what i posted if all that added up then the execution isn't good. But hey, it's a learning experience. Nothing bad intended. I thank him for sharing the video though.
 
The transition could be better between the opening scene and the guy slapping his face... Having him daydream would work better.. The guy fingering his nose makes me cringe rather then laugh... Perhaps turn down the pink lighting effect a bit... The overall image is good I think... I dont think this is going to go viral tho...

btw.. what brand of softboxes are you using?
 
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Here's my 2 cents. Pretty much agree with everyone's comment. It needs more energy. You differently can trim the piece way down and pace /timing is off. Even though I don't understand a word of it. I kind of got it from the visuals which is good but it's way too long to get there. And the music in the beginning feels like it belongs at were the guys are bored out of there minds and use some other music in the beginning. I don't know if you were going for some contrast thing with the visuals and music. If that's the case go bigger with the music maybe classical or something. The nose pick is kinda like bathroom humor which is hit or miss. Again it just my opinion. Goodluck
 
Thanks for all the replies people! It is our first real shoot so I'm not feeling offended or anything :)

I think everyone agrees that (besides the lighting effects in the beginning), it looks good and that is something that I'm proud of. Our 60D passed its first test also :)

As for the editing, I heard it before and I think I agree. It is kinda slow paced, but let me remind you this is not for television... If it is too slow because it is boring, yes then it is a valid point.
From the other hand, we wanted to create that boring bar look... If the 'message' or 'clue' comes to fast, you dont feel like they are bored that much I think... What do you think about that?

And the introduction, we indeed choose the music for contrast... To make them look ridicilous a bit... But yea, it could be shorter. I just didnt think it was necesarry.

Anyway, I appreciate every comment :)
 
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