48hrs film Project Miami FL. 2009

Hi - thanks for sharing. Hope I'm not being too tough on my critique - here's my ratings:

1. Story = 3
2. Acting = 5
3. Camera work = 4 - 8 (varied)
4. Editing, including pacing = 6
5. Audio = 5 - 9 (varied)
6. Music/effects = 8
7. Lighting = 4 - 8 (varied)

So for the most part, your camera work and audio were fine. You'll want to put more attention to the story/plot/character development/subtext/irony/etc to move up to the next notch. If you'd like some specific comments on any of the above, I'll check here from time to time.

Thanks again and good luck,

Michael
 
Thanks for the feedback Michael.

I really didn't have much say for the Directing and story since the producer (who paid the entry fee) was also the director and writer.

I agree with the variations on how you scored the camera, lighting and editing for that I am grateful. To be honest I got real tired as the time progressed, I just tried to complete everything. I would like for you to let me know which parts you liked and disliked so I don't make the same mistakes in future productions.
 
Caution said:
Thanks for the feedback Michael.

I really didn't have much say for the Directing and story since the producer (who paid the entry fee) was also the director and writer.

I agree with the variations on how you scored the camera, lighting and editing for that I am grateful. To be honest I got real tired as the time progressed, I just tried to complete everything. I would like for you to let me know which parts you liked and disliked so I don't make the same mistakes in future productions.
Click to expand...

Rehi,

Sure, I'd be happy to comment on some of the parts I liked/disliked. While I'll enumerate some of the techie items you were probably looking for, I'll follow-up with the biggie - script/story improvements :

1. Nice opening scene outside the home but then it's very slow until the doorbell rings. Then other than a bit of non-verbal communication (facial gestures), not much happens until 1:30 when the door opens.

2. Inconsistent lighting/color in the 1-2 minute range.

3. Nice background music to establish the scene.

4. If you only have an on-camera mic, avoid wide shots

5. Melony's acting could use some work - tone, inflection, pacing. The men's lines were fine.

6. One dolly shot is okay, but try not to have several one after the other.

7. Pay attention to composition/framing, background issues, etc. Incorporate different camera angles and creative camera shots. Nice POVs, OTS, etc after minute 3.

8. Build suspence through story, acting, pacing, camera work, etc, etc.

9. Some things seemed not to make any sense and were not story-related (as eating on the count of one-two-three but no one doing so). And everything seemed all so serious - it would be helpful to extend a range of emotions to the actors.

10. At minute 6 in the bathroom scene, the bad guy disappears when entering the bathroom (edit problem).

11. The special effect for the blood under the door was too think, lackiing realism. Later, the smeared blood on the floor seems realistic. Also, the low camera angle was interesting. Perhaps you've heard of the top 6 camera shot tops: WALLDO = Wide, Angled, Low, Linking, Depth, Opposite. If so, indeed you've artfully used a nice low shot here.

Generally though, the story needs quite a bit of work. Work on your plot points, add humor, irony, varied pacing (build tension), misdirect audience (when appropriate), incorporate camera reveal shots, consider loose endings that allow audience to walk away with different meanings, etc. Most importantly, at plot points allow protagonist/antagonist to develop their character while under stress. This both makes the story interesting and allows the audience to consider what they would do in the situation. Along this line, incorporate a wider range of human emotions, needs/wants, strengths/weaknesses and how their attributes interact with others and their environment.

Sound okay? If you need more help along this line, I could give you some links. Of course, reviewing award winning short films should give you real-world examples.

Good luck, Michael
 
Hi Michael,

I would like to start some projects of short stories. I dont have anything; no camera no stories, etc. But I know I want to do that and I know I can do that. So please canyou help out to choose cameras, may be some link to help me build storeis and how I can shoot the movie. I hav been thinking to buy Canon xl2. what do you think also about that. thanks in advance.
rahim
 
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