2min short (worth watching)**

Just watched it.... pretty damn funny, and totally unexpected (which I assume is the reaction you were going for).

Though I will say for a 2min video it was kind of a slow burn.
The music (which I really liked by the way, Life Aquatic is a killer soundtrack) seemed a bit out of place over the slow movement of him getting out of bed and moving down the stairs... didn't quite mesh for me. But all that would be solved, I think, if you just cut the opening a little faster and got him into the kitchen alot quicker...
Seems like this could be closer to 1 min.

Overall, nice work.
 
Yeah the payoff is great. But you should think of this as a 30 second ad. Could easily be cut that way and have even more payoff.

trimming suggestions
- Jump cuts in the beginning - no need to see him go all the way down the stairs, round the corner etc.
- you hold waaaaayyyy to long on all your end text cards. You only need like two seconds per card for the first two and then maybe a bit more for the last one that
lists the time and place.

but really pro concept and the timing and everything with the gorilla was spot on perfect
 
I guess I don't get it. But it is well put together. And I agree. It is actually too long. Should be cut down to like under a minute.
 
yeah, I should have cut it down alittle, but I feel like that it is important to kinda establish how normal everything is. I feel like if you were to just cut too quickly to
the gorilla it would be as funny. But there was definitely room to cut.

I personaly kinda have always enjoyed the idea of putting very upbeat music to a
very normal scene. (its can come off bad, but sometimes it can be pretty funny)
 
thanks for the comments guys.

and on the text cards I do realize they are too long, but the only reason i did
that, is because they cut to the music. and this just a church video, but I do agree
with you
 
I did, but unfortunately I didn't have the same positive reaction as the others. Maybe just not my cup of tea.

Basically the same technical issue's as previously mentioned. It drags on and on. It needs to be trimmed, the text lasts WAY too long, the colors could use some help IMO.

Who cares about cutting to the music? it doesn't need to be. "Establish how normal everything is"? we get it, it's normal, and it could still be normal even after trimming the entire piece down considerably.

You ask for feedback, and when people give you the right answers, you come up with an excuse as to why you did what you did, and don't want to change it.

I understand your reasoning, but the fact it, these people know what they're talking about and they're right.

Music sounded just fine to me, and I think it fits nicely. As far as the colors, it's way too cool. I'm not sure if you white balanced to a warm card (or didn't all together), but I don't really see a reason as to why everything's so blue.

I'd take it in post and warm it up a bit to give it a more natural color scheme.

Not trying to sound harsh... but I know sometimes I come off that way.

Good luck

-brown

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NathanPresley said:
yeah, I should have cut it down alittle, but I feel like that it is important to kinda establish how normal everything is.
Click to expand...


Personally I think that 'normal' is our default setting as an audience.
I have no reason to think things are not normal until you show me otherwise - so I wouldn't think it is something that really needs to be 'established.'

In fact, with a short we are waiting for what is going to break the normalcy (I swore I'd never use that word, but oh well).
So instead of thinking "wow, this is really normal" I think most audiences are going to be thinking "ok, when is something going to happen?"

Just my take on it.
 
yeah, well I cooled the image way down because its suppose to look like morning.
yours don't really give the early morning feel as much, but they look fine.


I just posted a video I did in a few hours for my church, but Like i said if I was going to try to make it better I would cut it quicker.
 
For the type of audience you made that for, I am sure it worked fine. I bet when it was shown, you got a lot of huh?'s and um....ok....'s Just because you were expecting some punchy ending after he set the milk down. I think you should instantly put up the senctence "its nothing like that" so people instantly know its complete randomness. It is complete random out of the ordinary thing right? Or is there some underlying meaning?
 
Yeah, that a good call. I definitely got some laughs during, but it I think your right
I could have got more after if I did it that way.
 
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