CallaghanFilms Presents "The Gaussian Project"

Shaun Patrick said:
...Anyway, for an editing standpoint there were several awkward moments that just really stood out. The first reaction shot from Kimko (he raises the glass and takes a sip) seems to be a 2 seconds late and it just lingers way too long. It just seemed really strange to me...
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Thank you for the feedback, Shaun. The various perspectives are greatly appreciated.
Cheers
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(...and right on cue this time, no less.)
 
Shaun, i thought it was too early but i think Chad was cutting for time. the cut was,i had raised my glass after he had spoken and my reactions which i liked but it was way too soon i thought.
 
Callaghan,

OK, here goes review #2 (the site ate my first one - and it was much better). Only now there's six full pages of comments, so my odds of coming up with anything new for you are ... not good.

First things first. If I think back on your short (and I've seen it about three times now) and think of an image, I see your protagonist (Korlis?) at the conference room table. Impressive guy. In control. Dangerous. Scary (almost as scary as knowing someone, somewhere had that leather jacket he was wearing stowed away in a closet). Awesome actor. But awesome actors need great scripts and you delivered on that. More on the script in a moment.

Your other two actors (the scientist/managers) were perfect. Obviously pros. And the guy on the left delivered the stand-out line (for me): "Who the f**k do you think you are?". Great line expertly delivered. I totally bought in.

And I liked the story. And I wanted more. And that's where I start to have issues which I'll go over in no particular order.

First, loved the story. But again I wanted more. Here you convince me of the fact that this Korlis guy is cool and deadly, but he gets wiped out the second he arrives back in the ol' west. That would be a really great set-up (and often repeated story device) whereby you establish a really tough guy as being easily handled by the antagonist so an even tougher guy (our real protagonist) can be introduced to the story to step in and handle the antagonist. Which I'd love (because it would mean you were turning this short into a feature) - except you blew the damn world up! Where can we go from here? Maybe you can fix that in post ("ahh yes - it was all a bad dream ....").

Next, I liked the boardroom scene all 'round, but I hated the sound. On my system it was too muddy and I found I was constantly adjusting the sound control on my speakers. Good acting and a good script like this deserve crisp sound. Pleeease fix that (assuming it's not my system).

Next, I didn't buy the transition to the guys wearing the cowboy outfits outside the office building. My first thought on seeing the scene was "Hey - guys wearing cowboy outfits outside an office building". It should have been "Cool - these boys are going hunting." But I do understand budgets (both monetary and time).

I also hated (perhaps a strong word, but not for this gripe) the scene back in the boardroom where our two manager/scientists are talking to Korlis over the picto-phone. I liked the phone itself (nice effect, in my opinion), but my two issues with that scene were (1) why are they still in the boardroom? Shouldn't they be in the control room? and (2) why is the second scientist tippy-typing in the BG on a laptop? Change the location. Give scientist #2 something better to do. Lose the laptop.

I also had some colour correction issues with the boardroom scene, but in my case that's like the pot calling the kettle black (if you get that analogy).

Lastly (and this isn't a gripe), I really liked Deberge. He was on screen for maybe five seconds, but I was immediately interested in this guy. Great look, great accent and great acting. Scary too (wasn't he a member of that similarly scary family group from the 80's - no, wait. That was DeBarge. They were scary too, but ... never mind). But, again, I wanted more of this guy. But he blew up the planet. Oh crap.

So thanks again for making your short. I'll be disappointed if you don't go feature with it. It's a keeper.
 
i did have a problem with the line "i am my own man" which i had done another way;i'm my own man in a sarcastic tone instead of I AM my own man as a matter of factly
 
Z B Brox said:
Hey, I'd just like to clarify something: It's not that I think, myself, that the boardroom scene was too long in of itself. I think it was too long given the length of the film. It's a nice scene...
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Thanks for the clarification, Z.B.
Basically the boardroom scene is the backbone of the story. Immediately after Val arrives in the year 1873, he is double-crossed and killed by one of the mercenaries (at the bidding of the antagonist, Doctor Andre Le Berge.)

What I'm saying is that this story is not of the traditional film structure, but rather formed by more of an anthology series-inspired mold.
Cheers
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now that i've seen our short holy moly CHRIS HURNS MUSIC WAS BEAUTIFUL THE BUILD UP THAN TONE DOWN at the right moments geesh!.....the music score was GREAT!
 
Dahopafilms said:
First things first. If I think back on your short (and I've seen it about three times now) and think of an image, I see your protagonist (Korlis?) at the conference room table. Impressive guy. In control. Dangerous. Scary (almost as scary as knowing someone, somewhere had that leather jacket he was wearing stowed away in a closet). Awesome actor. But awesome actors need great scripts and you delivered on that...
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That means a lot to me coming from you, Dahopa.
Thank you so much.
That was Kimko's mug that you are seeing in your mind...
and yes, it was Kimko's jacket:D

Dahopafilms said:
...First, loved the story. But again I wanted more. Here you convince me of the fact that this Korlis guy is cool and deadly, but he gets wiped out the second he arrives back in the ol' west...
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Val Corliss is an Evolvatic (I'll agree one badass Evolvatic.) His task was to "steer" the hired mercenaries through time. However, Val's counterpart Dr. Le Berge is his equal in every way.

Dahopafilms said:
...So thanks again for making your short. I'll be disappointed if you don't go feature with it. It's a keeper.
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;) My lips are sealed (for now).


Thanks again for the review.
Cheers
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Dahopa
 
THE SHOT GOING INTO THE CLOUDS WAS AWESOME CHAD! THEN IT WAS ALL MR. MIKE MURPHY! THANKS MIKE FOR QUITE AN ENDING now there's no chance in hell that i can come back.........or maybe CALLAGHAN CAN DO IT!
 
kimko said:
i did have a problem with the line "i am my own man" which i had done another way;i'm my own man in a sarcastic tone instead of I AM my own man as a matter of factly
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Would you stop it already?!:eek:
Your deliveries are spot on, and you know it.
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OH AND THE JACKET I HAD'NT WORN SINCE THE 80s.......but i could never get rid of it......... come on it's leather! but when Chad asked if i had an old jacket from the 80s i thought oh my i get to wear my favorite jacket again! JUST CALL ME ....SHAFT! RIGHT ON ....WHO'S THE MAN THAT WOULD RISK HIS NECK FOR BROTHERMAN!........SHAFT!...... CAN YOU DIG IT!
 
It's a shame you couldn't get the audio levels even, because it looked like you had decent on-screen talent.

I guess you live and learn.

EJ
 
CallaghanFilms said:
Robert,
Honestly, man...Thank you for that.

I appreciate your take, but for me that chemistry between Kimko and Brett was pure magic. I'm getting the vibe that many viewers of the film agree with me, and that they felt that dynamic spark themselves...
But alas, you are not the first to feel that the opposite is true...

:beer:Cheers, my man
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Definitely saw some nice chemistry there. But after awhile it felt almost borderline self-indulgent. You have to know when to cut it and when you may start to lose some of your adudience. It was difficult to assertain what was really important in the scene, considering the majority of the piece was that scene. It almost felt like a set up that was really layed out and then the delivery was rushed and lacking. It felt very abrupt.

It certainly didn't diminish what I liked about the piece, but made me either want to see a different edit where that sequence is tightened to contain only the absolute necessary information relevant to what happens next, or a longer version period where the climax isn't so abrupt and slightly confusing.

Again though, really nice job! It was a pleasure watching your film.

-Robert
 
Hey, I liked the whole retro feel of this one, it was refreshing and I liked the acting alot. The story was also pretty good. What I didnt like was some of the audio isssues , and once the main location scene was over, I think you lost the feel you had in the beginning and that threw me out of the whole thing.

Nice Work
 
I'm trying to write up my comments without reading thru everyone else's, so forgive me if I'm repeating something.

I liked the story, had a great concept. It may be harder to tell it real well in the time limits here, but a good story nonetheless. I was confused by the introduction of the one guy at the end. If he was supposed to be the one they were going back to get, it would have worked better for me if there had been some visual reference to him in the earlier briefing, say a personnel file photo or something.

The score was fantastic. Loved how you used it, it supported your scenes and didnt stand out as distracting at all. That's something I just CANNOT seem to get to click for me in editing. So, great job there.

The sound was good, but there were a couple issues, a drop in the level at one point during the briefing, and it got real garbled during the little plasma screen scene. I couldnt get the audio to make sense to me there. I listened on both speakers and headphones.

For the most part, the acting was wonderful. Kimko plays it very well (of course!) and the main guy in the briefing does a great job as well. Some of the delivery from the other actors seemed stiff, but there wasnt much of it, so there's that. :)

Very well done film, overall.
 
i don't know what else to add... nice job. except the older actor in the board room wasn't as convincing as kimko and the not so older actor...
 
thartley said:
I liked the story, had a great concept...
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Thank you very much, thartley.

thartley said:
...I was confused by the introduction of the one guy at the end. If he was supposed to be the one they were going back to get, it would have worked better for me if there had been some visual reference to him in the earlier briefing, say a personnel file photo or something...
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I tried to avoid taking any "easy ways out". IMHO, I could trust the audience to figure out that it is Dr. Le Berge (the antagonist) present at the climax...especially when the mercenary who was "gotten to" by Le Berge kills Val, and takes his place at his master's side.

thartley said:
...The score was fantastic. Loved how you used it, it supported your scenes and didn't stand out as distracting at all. That's something I just CANNOT seem to get to click for me in editing. So, great job there...
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I'm telling you...watch out for Chris Hurn. I keep telling him that he's the next James Horner.

thartley said:
...Very well done film, overall.
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Again, thank you sincerely. Cheers
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JimtheJib said:
i don't know what else to add... nice job. except the older actor in the board room wasn't as convincing as kimko and the not so older actor...
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Thank you for that, JimtheJib. (whenever I see your name, i think of the "Jib Jab" site:))

Kimko and I are already talking about working together again...and I can't bloody wait!

As for Brett (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0723365/) I'm sure he will love finding out that he is the not so old actor.

Thanks again so much. Cheers
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