Joystick Films Presents.......Hangman

Hey, Richard. I like your funny dark side. I also liked all your actors. They all had very different voice. Much of your dialogue paid off. There are some issues with DP/Cinematography that could have made the film more powerful. There was a moment when the camera swung around like a home movie camera, not like a camera intentionally working with the actors to tell a story. You're smart guy. You know what I'm talking about. The sound went hollow a couple of times. It took me out, but I stayed with it. I like where you placed your quiet moments. You created a nice pace.

The language is heavy, but real. I would keep the curse words, but remove a few to make it funnier. I know this amazing Australian DP who could curse circles around those girls. I'm going to start following you in this forum. You have amazing potential. Keep them coming.
 
Thank you for watching it. The sound was not good on this one. And yes I know exactly what you're talking about. LOL. If you know a girl that could out curse these 3 then you have someone real special on your hands. I am glad you could look past the flaws and enjoy it. thank you

Sprocketboy said:
Hey, Richard. I like your funny dark side. I also liked all your actors. They all had very different voice. Much of your dialogue paid off. There are some issues with DP/Cinematography that could have made the film more powerful. There was a moment when the camera swung around like a home movie camera, not like a camera intentionally working with the actors to tell a story. You're smart guy. You know what I'm talking about. The sound went hollow a couple of times. It took me out, but I stayed with it. I like where you placed your quiet moments. You created a nice pace.

The language is heavy, but real. I would keep the curse words, but remove a few to make it funnier. I know this amazing Australian DP who could curse circles around those girls. I'm going to start following you in this forum. You have amazing potential. Keep them coming.
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Vast difference from your other entry.

The attention to detail on the set here is very painterly. The use of the three basics of red, black, and yellow mixed with the gorgeous and warm skin tones makes this one of nicest set and character collages in the fest.

What really works next is to have this warm and inviting atmosphere act as a dichotomy to the FU ***** and the violence. I love the incongruous nature of it.

Really enjoyed the film a lot. Beautiful to watch, and a solid story to support it, and visa-versa.

Well done ...

aw


www.alexwhitmer.wordpress.com
 
Thank you for the comments! I'm glad you enjoyed it. Man, I had to look up some of those words. Just make sure you actually did like it. : )
 
filthrich said:
Thank you for the comments! I'm glad you enjoyed it. Man, I had to look up some of those words. Just make sure you actually did like it. : )
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LOL! I found myself doing the same thing after reading Alex's post!

But anyway, I thought this was effective, but I saw the ending coming. I liked it, but not as much as The Puppeteer.

Ryan
 
filthrich said:
As far as the cursing goes, I knew it could turn some people off but Me and my wife swear so much all of the dialog sounds normal to us. :) I really wanted to write something fun and raunchy that the girls could run with.
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I wouldn't even worry about the cursing. That's just how we get down sometimes. We say "f*7k" and "motha' f@#Ka' and mean that sh*t!
 
filthrich said:
Thanks for the comments. ANd my SFX library does indeed suck.:( I am glad you liked it. Your film was very cool. There was no thread for it though.
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No, man. I got a thread! I don't know why they didn't put it up. Click on the link below and give me a critique.
 
Richard, this was funny as hell. I was laughing from the get go - those ladies are great. There were a few moments where their reactions were not quite believable, but they were so funny that I was willing to overlook it.

I think I would have liked a more specific look to this film - maybe something a little darker and more contrasty since the comedy is so dark. Overall, great job.
 
That was a cool twist at the end. Liked how you took a well-known plot and made it your own and changed it up. It had a lot of funny moments! Yea, the SFX and location sound could have been improved but it didn't distract me from following your story. You had a lot of dialogue but it came across naturally and effectively. Nicely done!
 
Thanks Will. I am glad you enjoyed it.

I am still working on my grading skills and I must have tried 5 different grades on this film and ended up using the very first one.

I am just trying to stay out of sucktown.

Will Clegg said:
Richard, this was funny as hell. I was laughing from the get go - those ladies are great. There were a few moments where their reactions were not quite believable, but they were so funny that I was willing to overlook it.

I think I would have liked a more specific look to this film - maybe something a little darker and more contrasty since the comedy is so dark. Overall, great job.
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Geoff I am happy you looked past the flaws and stayed with it. considering how well made your film was that is just a great compliment. Thanks for checking it out.

It's funny to me that I have been a recording engineer since the 90's and sound is one my of weakest areas on film. It is totally different than sitting behind a console and sliding faders.


Geoff_R said:
That was a cool twist at the end. Liked how you took a well-known plot and made it your own and changed it up. It had a lot of funny moments! Yea, the SFX and location sound could have been improved but it didn't distract me from following your story. You had a lot of dialogue but it came across naturally and effectively. Nicely done!
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wow.. the shot where the three girls were looking at the body was funny, well played. the language is heavy,but it added a sort of realism for me, given the situation. the opening music was a great choice.

i had a hunch something was up when she said the other body was upstairs
i thought: why didnt she say that until now? why would she drag him all the way downstairs and sit him up? but the end somewhat answered it for me.


overall.. this is a great short....
 
Thanks G I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Gbaez said:
wow.. the shot where the three girls were looking at the body was funny, well played. the language is heavy,but it added a sort of realism for me, given the situation. the opening music was a great choice.

i had a hunch something was up when she said the other body was upstairs
i thought: why didnt she say that until now? why would she drag him all the way downstairs and sit him up? but the end somewhat answered it for me.


overall.. this is a great short....
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THAT was fun! Great story idea... well executed (pun intended)!!!
Keep these jewels comin'. The girls did a great job.
 
That was awesome! With a really great ending. Easy to follow (which shows good continuity and plot flow). Very entertaining I enjoyed it. I thought the acting was pretty damn solid. It wasn't dubious for a moment (accept for the whole context in general of them being that calm considering the situation but it worked for the film) I don't know anyone who says the F word that much though. Even in stressfull situations. I think I would have tuned it down just a bit.
 
Very cool! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Me and my wife curse so much it seems norm to me, which aint a good thing, LOL.
Coming from you it means a lot. Thank you

orchidsofwrath said:
That was awesome! With a really great ending. Easy to follow (which shows good continuity and plot flow). Very entertaining I enjoyed it. I thought the acting was pretty damn solid. It wasn't dubious for a moment (accept for the whole context in general of them being that calm considering the situation but it worked for the film) I don't know anyone who says the F word that much though. Even in stressfull situations. I think I would have tuned it down just a bit.
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really liked this flick! liked the quick pace you gave it. dialogue and acting were strong. the curses worked so i'd keep em in. the killer is too cool, she's really good! story was perfect for a 6 minute limit, just enough to have a blast with. parts of it ( esp the shot with the 3 looking over the shot guy ) were very tarantino to me. the women being calm added to it as well, good choice. it made them look much more experienced in all sorts of things and added to the story.

i liked it a lot! good work!!
 
hoz said:
really liked this flick! liked the quick pace you gave it. dialogue and acting were strong. the curses worked so i'd keep em in. the killer is too cool, she's really good! story was perfect for a 6 minute limit, just enough to have a blast with. parts of it ( esp the shot with the 3 looking over the shot guy ) were very tarantino to me. the women being calm added to it as well, good choice. it made them look much more experienced in all sorts of things and added to the story.

i liked it a lot! good work!!
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Thanks Hoz! Very cool you enjoyed it. The pulpness was kind of intentional. I didn't want to stroll into Rip-off land just tip toe around the borders.:beer:

Thanks again for checking it out.
 
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