Two Rows In - A Bob Zimmerman Film

The scenes through the corn and in the cemetery were nice. I enjoyed the pursuit/search - moved at a nice pace.

Didn't buy into the car and bike ended up on the grass, but I think was was just keeping the film out of the middle of the road - and having encounted similar problems I see it as a 'couldn't be helped'.

also the cell phone thing was odd, and relied on too much as a driver for plot. Maybe after the woman sees the dead man, gets some blood on her, and she freaks, tries one more call, then races through the corn, gets slapped in the face a little, then sees her husband staring at a tomb. I don't know, somehow the cell didn't really do anything for me.

As a whole the concept is strong - but maybe a little too convenient to be killed nect to your dad's resting place. Maybe an opening montage of the man exiting the cemetery after visiting the grave.

I think I would have liked to see more search in the cemetery as well.

Anyways, I enjoyed the film.

Alex
 
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Hi Zim,

I was a little confused by the short so I read the thread.

your explanation of the story here makes total sense and I think you have a nice little idea. I too however was confused because I thought it was the same character as earlier. I think if that had been given a little more emphasis then it would have all fallen into place for me.

I did like the kid walking through the corn, thought that was creepy.

all the best
 
Thanks Alex. I wanted to drive into the corn, but the farmer might have been unhappy about that.
The corn field was right next to the cemetery so we didn't need two locations.
Having the woman show up at the tomb would have been cool. Good idea.

All I can say about the kid getting killed next to the graveyard his father was buried in is,,,it is the Twilight Zone. I can't explain it either!!

alex whitmer said:
The scenes through the corn and in the cemetery were nice. I enjoyed the pursuit/search - moved at a nice pace.

Didn't buy into the car and bike ended up on the grass, but I think was was just keeping the film out of the middle of the road - and having encounted similar problems I see it as a 'couldn't be helped'.

also the cell phone thing was odd, and relied on too much as a driver for plot. Maybe after the woman sees the dead man, gets some blood on her, and she freaks, tries one more call, then races through the corn, gets slapped in the face a little, then sees her husband staring at a tomb. I don't know, somehow the cell didn't really do anything for me.

As a whole the concept is strong - but maybe a little too convenient to be killed nect to your dad's resting place. Maybe an opening montage of the man exiting the cemetery after visiting the grave.

Anyways, I enjoyed the film.

Alex









I think I would have liked to see more search in the cemetery.
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Congrats on putting out a quality short. I enjoyed this one.

I haven't really read other replies, so, sorry if my comments have been covered.

First I loved the tracking shot along the corn. This was my favorite scene in the film. Really sucked me into the film.

I also thought the grading and score were really well done. They really fit the mood well.

The placement of the car wreck seem a little weird, perhaps unbelievable. What were they doing driving that far off the road? The other issue I had was perhaps the cell phone thing. Why did they all of a sudden have a connection?

Those gripes aside, I thought this was a good short with potential to be extended a little. Maybe clear up some questions that were cut to fit the time limit.

Great job, I'm looking forward to seeing your next movie.
 
Thanks Richie. I thought about having the car going down the road but decided it wasn't really needed. Maybe it was.

The cell phone in same areas don't always work to good in the country. Maybe just calling 911 would have been better. Good points. Thanks for watching and I'm glad you enjoyed it.
 
I was taken out of the story at the car and bike revel it seemed very out of place makes no sense. I got drawn back in by the chase through the corn nicely shot. Of course the acting on the phones part did put me off again but the revel of the kid the second time drew me back. Overall I did enjoy it.
Pauly
 
There is a gravel road right there,,,maybe a wide shot and the car moving or something would have helped. But thanks Pauly
 
How on earth did the car end up in the corn field, a good 30-40 feet from the road? /would they really skid/drive that far off road in to the open grassy area?

I could see the sidewalk/road in the background and I just didn't buy it.

However, the story did progress and it got cool near the end.

The acting wasn't the strongest, but it played out well enough for me to keep watching.

Robbie
 
Go back and watch it. The car is on the edge of the field. I think your looking at the poster. It never got changed. That is a gravel road you see behind the car, which I did put a sound effect of a car on a gravel road.

I'm glad you watch it all....that is always a good thing!!LOL



Robbie Comeau said:
How on earth did the car end up in the corn field, a good 30-40 feet from the road? /would they really skid/drive that far off road in to the open grassy area?

I could see the sidewalk/road in the background and I just didn't buy it.

However, the story did progress and it got cool near the end.

The acting wasn't the strongest, but it played out well enough for me to keep watching.

Robbie
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I really liked the cornfield shots. Watching them walk through that great great scenery really gives some suspense and the feeling that something is going to happen.

Some of the lighting is a bit distracting and dark, I found myself squinting a little bit to see sometimes.
 
Thanks John,,,,Even in the 3 hours we shot the light changed fast. The scene by the grave with the three actors was a little dark.
 
Hey Zim,
What an enormous improvement over your Timefest entry!! The story is pretty simple, but a good choice I think because you have made something that is really very watchable. I was going to mention continuity, but I see the changing light has been mentioned just above. I also noticed that there was blood on the outside of the windscreen in the scene inside the car, but not a moment later in the scene outside.
You had some great shots in the cornfield and in the graveyard, Justin Durban's score sounded good, all in all you did a good job.:thumbup:
Jason
 
Thanks Jason,,,,man I don't know about that blood on the windshield of the car. Maybe there is just a glare on the window and we can't see it. I never noticed that before. But we did the inside car scene first. Then they got out of the car. It is hard to tell but there is no blood by the football and the bike. We did that later.
 
really cool shot inside the car when the man tries to use the wiper to clear the blood. not the best acting in a way though, i'd think they'd freak out a lot more than that.

good shots through the corn field, nice idea. kinda convenient that the cemetary is right there but i am ok with that, maybe make the chase a lot more harried and quicken the pace, make us run through the field and scramble a lot more. make the guy even fall down while he is chasing after the boy. push the limits. also the cell phone got tired real fast. she can try to call once, but even after the second time, it seems contrived. i'd rather see her doing nothing as an anxiety ridden mess while standing over the bloodied grass. she might even back away and then clumsily fall into the field where the body is? my 2 cents!

great effort! :thumbup:
 
Zim said:
Thanks John,,,,Even in the 3 hours we shot the light changed fast. The scene by the grave with the three actors was a little dark.
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Ouch! Been there, done that. Not fun. Sorry you had that problem! As I was watching and started to wonder. Anyway, David Dillman, pulled off that last head nod really well. It's a silly comment, but there was a very specific feeling that needed to be convey in that moment and he hit it. Overall, the story telling technique was strong. The technical aspects need some work. Mainly in the visuals, audio was fine. Keep at it and I look forward to more! :beer:
 
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