"Revenge Therapy" A Brian Parker Film

Champloo, this was really good. The actors both did very well. The guy really reminds me of Forrest Whitaker. I really liked what you did here. Minor negatives: The ball sound at the beginning didn't sound believable (it sounded like foley) and the music was okay, but in spots didn't totally match the tone. I think the sound of him catching the ball was just a little too much. I think if it was more subtle it would have worked better, but I know you were going for the sound of him catching to wake her up. The music, like I said was okay, but if it was a little darker, it would have sold the story even more (if that's possible). Oh, almost forgot, there are a couple of place where the guy's audio doesn't match his lips. One of them is at the 2:18 mark and I think there's another one a few lines after that.

Like I said, I really liked and enjoyed it and the transformation in the middle with the flashing was especially good and original. It threw me for a loop and pulled me into the story even more. I may have to steal that one from you. Ha-ha! Good job, man!
 
That was a good one-acting and story pulled out really nice. Music though got me conused, and I partly expected some happy ending because of it. LOVE the part with eyes, it' turned out great.

If I'm correct, this is squeezed 16:9 footage, right?

Good job, I think you're lucky to have actors like that ones.
 
Marlon: Thanks man. I'm really glad you liked it. LOL...yeah, uh...the dude is me. Forrest Whitaker? Really? I see what you're saying with the ball sound effect. I'm probably gonna have to tone it down or take it out all together. It also seems to be unanimous so far that the music is too light so that has to be redone. Man, when I rendered it out, I noticed the audio sync issues too! Broke my heart but I didn't have time to re-render before the deadline. Anyway, I'm not trying to make excuses. Thanks for stopping by and thanks for the compliments and the feedback. I really appreciate it.

Mile: Thanks for stopping by. Glad you enjoyed the acting. With the music I made, I was going for something slightly somber and vague to match her emotions. LOL...yeah, the eyes took me a while but it was fun. Yeah, the footage is originally 16:9. Thanks for the compliments and feedback. Quynh is a great actress. She's very professional and really dedicated to her craft. And me? Well, I'm just me. Thanks again man.
 
Six minutes with two people in one room is a hard thing to get right.

You got it right. The pacing was good, there was enough movement and shifting of emotions to keep things from getting stale. Man did she get creepy! Nice.

Good work. I enjoyed it. :)
 
The storyboards seem like a great idea, helpful in the final product.

My only problems were that I felt that a lot of the acting in the beginning is a bit unbelievable, almost forced, they don't really sell it. The score at the beginning sounds too bright for the tone of your film as well but that beat change was superb.

At 5:08 the audio doesn't match up.

Thought the movie was great overall, really liked the idea and when it gets to that beat change and we know whats up, again, everything was superb.
 
Very cool. I would have liked more variety in the shots though, especially with the entire movie shot in one small location.

The acting was good, enjoyed the ending as well. The aspect ratio looked off.

Good story and dialogue.

Cheers,

Mike
 
Champloo:

You kept me engaged throughout the whole piece, despite some setbacks.
I think your actors both have a really great look to them. As it has been mentioned, I also see a resemblance of Forest Whittaker in your male actor.

I think this film suffered from some awkward, unexciting executions... for one, when the ball rose from the ground into her hand... when she broke free from the duct tape binding.... when her eyes went crazy.... -- These should have all been HUGE ACTION points. I want to see her BURST out of those effin handcuffs!! I want her to completely snap out of her weeping and to totally SCREW with the guy. Maybe she dims the lights with her mind and starts making the pegboards full of tools start rattling and falling off their hooks. Now THAT would be scary.

I really liked the breath effect. I'm glad to see that you payed attention to the environment shift at least with regards to temperature. I don't think I would have believed in her change at all if you hadn't included that. -- When her eyes went white I kind of sighed and wished you hadn't made the moment so awkward rather than scary.

Music was okay. I liked some of the voices and SFX... it definitely fit the feel of the film. Audio was off more than once on the dialogue. This is an embarassing problem, Champloo... that just can't happen. Watch your film several times through during the editing process with studio headphones. If film is 80% sound then you'd better spend 80% of your time on it. ;)

From a design standpoint, I wasn't a fan of the opening titles. They were shaped strange and didn't really complement the film in any way. It was difficult to read and was distracting. -- Almost as if you tried to hard too make them unique. Just my feelings.

I loved the crazy shake effect. I'm curious as to how this was done. -- While I think you should keep it in the film, I also feel that in order to do so you MUST give it more of a motivation. It feels out of place and REALLY REALLY distracting. Blend it with some other excitement... roughness... shaking... sound... Maybe with the right sound effect I would buy it. -- but as it is, I will not.

Cool story, decent location, and pretty nice acting in this one. As I said before, you kept me engaged through the entire film and not once did I find myself skipping through. I think you will earn a decent rating with this piece from most viewers.

Great job!!!
 
Michael: Thanks man. Quynh is quite a good actress. Honestly, the scene where she started to cry wasn't even her best take, but I wasn't able to use that one because a machine cut on in mid-shot and ruined it. It's great that you enjoyed the story as well. If it was able to entertain, then I'm happy. Glad you liked it and thanks for the feedback.

Kyle: Thanks for all of your feedback man. This is the kind of critique that people should be hoping for. Glad you liked the actors. I can't believe everybody thinks I look like Forrest Whitaker. I see all of your points as far as her transition scene goes and I agree with you. You've expanded my perception of the piece, which is cool. As far as the sound goes, I know I dropped the ball on that one and it's killing me. The render that I did in Premiere was in sync but somewhere along the pipeline to After Effects, it got a little wonky. I also see what you're saying about the effects and title designs.

I'm not going to make a lot of excuses but I'm definately reworking the film as it stands now to correct these things. All of the feedback I'm getting from you guys is extremely important to me because I just want to make my work progress. I have to thank you for being so honest and thorough Kyle because it's the only way I can improve. I appreciate you taking the time to watch my film and give me some great advice. Thanks man.
 
Really good film! Great job on a good story. I was diggin' the look of it...nice lighting. The acting was very well done. If I have anything to say, I felt the score didn't quite work until the middle to the end. Great location for this one. Really enjoyed the VFX too.

Great job!
 
ZazaCast: I'm glad you liked it. Yeah, I think the lighting for the most part was decent considering it was a worklight. The acting was really a major focus this time around because I felt that my directing of actors need work so I'm glad that it came out OK. Oh yeah, the score will be changed. Thanks for all of your feedback man!
 
I hate to bring it up, maybe it's my player or DL, but the sound is sometimes off. ugh, that sucks.
this is a great example of character study and the anatomy of a scene. Your consistancy in the shots and the unfolding of the dialogue creates susspenful feeling throughout.
When the mood shifts, the music is great. I love the music, but thats my style of music.
Also, the colors change and the scene becomes much more vibrant. (Something that I didn't see in the first half)

I am getting the 'split personality' idea of the script but it didn't completely pull through for me. _left me kind of confused_ (Am I right, she is possessed?)

I think, this is more of a segment in a whole film. With progression of the story and a background to the characters, it could be highly enjoyable.

btw, your lead reminds me so much of Forrest Whittaker. (Which is cool)
 
dialog audio sounded "on camera". I thought, oh no another female abduction, slasher flick, but then the tables turned. but still cliche.
 
RobinFrank: It's allright that you brought the sound sync thing up Robin. That's what critiques are for. I'm glad that the story unfolded well for you. I'll probably keep the music from the scene shift and redo the earlier score.

I wouldn't say possessed so much as maybe schizophrenic or even bi-polar. Kind of like these powers had caused her to become at odds with herself. I often find it hard to tell a full story in a short so they usually feel like a part of a whole. The concept I had in mind was almost the origin of a super villan.

LOL...As far as the whole Forrest Whittaker thing goes, that seems to be unanimous. Thanks for checking it out and thanks for the feedback. I appreciate it!

Dick: OK. Thanks for the feedback.
 
Good job! I really enjoyed how you slowly unspooled your story. A little info at a time. Kept me guessing. The acting was very good. The sound was out of sync in a few places, but not a big deal. I didn't really like your choice of music... it seemed at odds with what was on screen. Good VFX. Look forward to your next movie! :beer:
 
Maximus: Thanks man, I'm glad you liked it. Yeah, the sound slid out of sink somewhere along the compression pipeline so I'll have to tweak it before the final DVD release. Many other people have said the same thing about the music that you have so I'm going to redo that as well. Thanks for all of the positive feedback and critiques man!
 
One shot that was missing... Gabriel's POV looking down the barrel of Scott's gun. I won't mention the sound sync issue since everyone else did. I really liked what you did with the music and choppy frame effects toward the end. Definitely had a cool feel to it. Speaking of cool, I really liked your "cold" room effect with condensed breath thing.

Good short overall!

:beer:
 
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