"Mary's Travel Brochure" by Drew Ott

You have this brilliance to make a story with a theme which show the heavy normal (and also nightmare) life of every day and then making this theme fantastically interesting. I noticed that already in your TimeFest entry and I am very impressed about it. The acting was very good and I am very jealous of your lighting knowledge! Thank you very much for have putting this film in the fest. :thumbup:

Susanne
 
Though you know my thoughts on this one Drew, I thought I'd share aloud:

I liked the pacing. I liked the acting, and I liked the camera work.

It sucks about that shot in the room Mary stayed, with the wires in the background. I bet you wish you could've have really crushed that. (Depth of Field). It just took away the film look. But whatever, don't even worry about that, just an image that stood out for me.

The audio was decent overall. And the score at the very end was good, but I understand your timing on this short, and I bet you could have improved the score throughout the short. (Maybe it didn't even need one during the conversation)

What was on his teeth during the shoot? Looks like food, or was it a natural stain of some sort?

For a 24 hour edit basically, I thought you did good for that, must o f been scary.

Oh, and that steadicam shot in the beginning with him walking to Mary's room= PERFECT.

Great shot there.

Thanks for sharing dude!

Robbie
 
Hey Drew- I was looking forward to this one because of Late, and also because Alex wrote it.

Let me say it looked fantastic. Wow! Awesome. The location was great too. Camera work throughout was very good. All pro.

The area of issue was casting your leading lady, and this is a compliment- she looks like she has 30+ years left in her. In no way was she going to die. I wrote in my notes, "too pretty to die". I wanted older, more grit, wrinkles, worn out voice, and those hazy eyes older folks get, you know?

Once I got past that, I really liked the script and the story. The imagery created is quite wonderful.

I see you did this in a hurry, which is always tough, but I'm glad you finished it.

Another strong entry Drew.
 
yeehaanow said:
The area of issue was casting your leading lady, and this is a compliment- she looks like she has 30+ years left in her. In no way was she going to die. I wrote in my notes, "too pretty to die". I wanted older, more grit, wrinkles, worn out voice, and those hazy eyes older folks get, you know?
Click to expand...

For a few different stories over the years I have visited nursing homes and such, and not everyone was so old they were ready to die from natural causes. Quite the opposite in fact. Many 'still young' were dying of any number of diseases, including various cancers, but you could not tell by looking at them.

Some had just given up after some horrible tragedy. A slow suicide.

It was a real wake up my first visit. Chipper one day, gone the next.

Think that sucks, try visiting a children's hospital. Bring extra heart strings.


Appreciate the 'because alex wrote it' script comment, but much of it is just my scribblings based on what Drew was seeing. I think he sees the entire film in his head before it's ever on paper - a little like Mozart could hear a whole orchestra before ever writing a note.

Kinda.

aw
 
alex whitmer said:
For a few different stories over the years I have visited nursing homes and such, and not everyone was so old they were ready to die from natural causes. Quite the opposite in fact. Many 'still young' were dying of any number of diseases, including various cancers, but you could not tell by looking at them.
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Yes, true in real life, but for a movie, and this particular script in particular, I think it would work better to have a woman closer to death.
 
yeehaanow said:
Yes, true in real life, but for a movie, and this particular script in particular, I think it would work better to have a woman closer to death.
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Point taken. A little make up would have done the trick. Or, as Pauly the Hitman prefers, beat the actors up before the shoot!! Much cheaper!

aw
 
I agree with the comments about makeup. I could make an excuse and find a way to say that it was intentional, but it's really just because the thought escaped me.
 
I really liked this story. And I think it could have used a lot more cuts to speed it up a bit, seemed a little slow for me unless that is what you were going for not sure on that one. Overall good job well lit and well shot.
Pauly
 
Aim session. Mary's travel brochure.

Aim session. Mary's travel brochure.

Carrying on the tradition from Timefest, the AIM sessions have returned, a live stream of whatever may come out of our heads as we watch your films. Here are Ben Sliker and Brad Mates thoughts on "MARY'S TRAVEL BROCHURE."

9:00:34 PM Ben Sliker: Mary's travel brochure is next.
9:02:19 PM Ben Sliker: rdy?
9:02:27 PM Brad Mate: ya
9:02:32 PM Ben Sliker: 3
9:02:33 PM Ben Sliker: 2
9:02:34 PM Ben Sliker: 1
9:02:35 PM Ben Sliker: go
9:02:51 PM Ben Sliker: SQUISHED LEADER!
9:03:06 PM Ben Sliker: woah ADR.
9:03:25 PM Ben Sliker: cool hospital and stedicam tho
9:03:27 PM Brad Mate: is this supposed to be a dolly or handheld or is it handheld on a dolly. its distracting
9:04:01 PM Ben Sliker: they make other equipment than the dolly brad ...
9:04:14 PM Brad Mate: i said "or handheld"
9:04:41 PM Ben Sliker: that beeping is making me go nuts
9:04:51 PM Ben Sliker: especially cause i had to jack it up to hear anything.
9:05:05 PM Ben Sliker: LOUD NOISES.
9:05:31 PM Ben Sliker: that's a pretty steady hum, he probably could have gotten rid of some of that.
9:05:35 PM Brad Mate: yeah, its one of htose things where realism gets in the way of fiction. that kind of noise should disappear/get lowered so not to be distracting
9:06:01 PM Ben Sliker: apparently drew was trying to depress us beyond hope with this one.
9:06:07 PM Brad Mate: lol
9:06:27 PM Brad Mate: i dotn think she should have said "bullshi*". she doenst seem like an older woman who would swear
9:06:34 PM Ben Sliker: BELIEVE YOUR MOM SHE'S DYING
9:07:03 PM Ben Sliker: wow ... she's like a superhero ... she can die at will
9:07:31 PM Ben Sliker: someone was apparently doing crunches in the elavator
9:07:33 PM Brad Mate: thats pretty sweet. its like "ooo just said soemthing prophetic, nows my chance to close on a high note"
9:08:29 PM Ben Sliker: i think if you are going to have a short that's based around one conversation, that the audio should be really pristine ...
9:09:45 PM Ben Sliker: did you lose hope or are you taking a dook or something?
9:10:10 PM Brad Mate: had myself a little cry, im good now
9:10:24 PM Ben Sliker: everyone needs a little cry.
9:10:29 PM Brad Mate: apparently
9:10:30 PM Ben Sliker: YOU DID YOUR BEST.
9:10:57 PM Ben Sliker: i think this ended up being like a 2-person crew
9:11:38 PM Ben Sliker: did you notice that the door he goes into is not room that the story takes place in?
9:12:16 PM Brad Mate: nope
9:12:39 PM Ben Sliker: yeah ... the room is at the end of the hallway a "mechanical" closet at the end
9:12:53 PM Brad Mate: and then its got the window
9:12:54 PM Ben Sliker: the room he steps into is apparently the corner suite
9:12:57 PM Brad Mate: gotcha
9:13:11 PM Ben Sliker: I SEE THROUGH YOUR MOVIE MAGIC DREW
9:13:24 PM Brad Mate: well now the movie's just ruined for me
9:13:33 PM Ben Sliker: I DO MY BEST.
9:13:38 PM Ben Sliker: see what i did there?
9:13:42 PM Brad Mate: yes
9:13:45 PM Brad Mate: yes i did
9:13:50 PM Ben Sliker: i tied a joke in that i made before to right now
9:13:59 PM Ben Sliker: cause im awesome.

Drew, some very solid lighting/framing in this one. And the concept, even though it was depressing as hell, was really good. For some reason that shot of the ball in the elevator really creeped me out, like it really shouldn't have been in that environment. Great job on that. Especially with the red color of it. I wish that the conversation would have engaged me a little more, sometimes I felt like I was just waiting for the important part to come.

Keep it up man!:beer:
 
Hey guys! Touching story you have here. I like the your steadycam shots down the hallway.

:beer:
 
Honest and sincere are the word that come to mind with this piece. I liked the quiet tone of it and the squeaky wheel. The acting was well enough, but I did find it dragging a bit. I haven't read your thread yet, but I'll ask anyway: What was you inspiration for the story?
 
Bryce A said:
What was you inspiration for the story?
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Well... a very short version of my inspiration:

My mom is a religious person and she raised me to be one as well, but in the past few years I've turned away from that... and she doesn't know. I was imagining how it would feel if I had to tell her, "Don't worry Mom, you'll be happy in Heaven," if she was nearing her death, even if I didn't believe it.

The idea in the film that maybe Mary isn't just speaking nonsense comes from some doubts that I still have, and I think everybody has.
 
Drew Ott said:
Well... a very short version of my inspiration:

My mom is a religious person and she raised me to be one as well, but in the past few years I've turned away from that... and she doesn't know. I was imagining how it would feel if I had to tell her, "Don't worry Mom, you'll be happy in Heaven," if she was nearing her death, even if I didn't believe it.

The idea in the film that maybe Mary isn't just speaking nonsense comes from some doubts that I still have, and I think everybody has.
Click to expand...

Glad to hear it comes from the heart. It's always interesting to see how it plays out when we put a bit of ourselves into the piece. Having other people act out our feelings in a way. Yipes! Good luck!
 
Stories like this always depress the **** out of me and I hate them. I hate writing them, I hate watching them and I hate thinking about them. But what I hate even more is the fact that, even though I knew it was going to upset me, you did such a great job that I watched all the way through (and gave quite a good rating, as well). I always look forward to your work, Drew, and you did a good job. Even if you did break my heart.

Good job and good luck! :)
 
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