"Innocence" by AJ Brooks

Am I really the first to comment on this one? I'll try to do so without revealing too much.

Wonderful work, A.J. A great follow up to "Good Sam". The cinematography and color were excellent. The score was a great compliment to the film. And the mother in me was cheering the father on at the end. Is that wrong?

The only place where this film seemed to stumble was the "party scene". Amy came across as a bit of a plot device the way she jumped right in to the story of the aunt. And the father didn't protest when she said "I know what you are going through." The knee jerk reaction to that line is "No you don't." Or "How could you?" I think a bit of back and forth before she tells her story might help alleviate the plot device effect.

After the party scene, the film found its ground again and took off. The reveal of the truth was great. The overall editing of the film was well paced. A very nice film, A.J. Thanks for sharing.
 
AmyO said:
The only place where this film seemed to stumble was the "party scene". Amy came across as a bit of a plot device the way she jumped right in to the story of the aunt. And the father didn't protest when she said "I know what you are going through." The knee jerk reaction to that line is "No you don't." Or "How could you?" I think a bit of back and forth before she tells her story might help alleviate the plot device effect.
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Thank you so much for the comments!

Yes I agree.

Due to my poor planning, the party scene was trimmed considerably for time sake and a lot of the subtleties were cut. In the fuller version it doesn't feel as arbitrary and it is more clear that the Amie lady is a little crazy (hence the aunt story)

Thanks again! I just got home from school and I'm going to get started on these films.
 
Acting was great. Lighting and music were superb. I felt the same way about the party scene. BUT it did NOT take me away from the film. I thought the guy tied up at the end could have struggled a little more to get out of the restraints. I kind of got mad when it ended. I wanted to see more.
 
Overall I really liked the film but, because of the constraints of the alotted six minutes, I found myself wanting for some more development from one scene to another. His reaction at the party (as previously mentioned) seemed unbelieveable to me and the whole setup by the woman happened too fast and didn't give me a chance to really buy it. Again, I realize you were dealing with a six minute limit so I believe you did the best you could.

Acting, lighting and music were very good. Your film made my "A" list.
 
I was impressed with your film! I felt a little lost at times with the flashbacks (like where he suddenly appeared in the graveyard while he was at the crime scene; was that a flashback?). But other than that I thought it was an interesting story and very nice quality. I really liked the score as well.

In the black and white flashback, the little hand that creeps up scared the hell out of me!
 
Thanks all!

Hey disjecta. I love your work.

Hope it didn't sound like I was giving myself an excuse with the 6 min. limit. I had a nagging feeling during the shoot that this film would run way over, even though it was a 6 page script.

Good lesson for the future. I'm going to write 4 pages for a 6 min short.
 
teresadecher said:
I was impressed with your film! I felt a little lost at times with the flashbacks (like where he suddenly appeared in the graveyard while he was at the crime scene; was that a flashback?). But other than that I thought it was an interesting story and very nice quality. I really liked the score as well.
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Hey Teresa!

The film plays in sequence. The only flashback is at the end after the line, "I know, she told me."

Well, the transition between the crime scene and cemetery was a dissolve. At the crime scene we cut to a CU on his eyes, he closes them, then it dissolves to an identical shot at the cemetery, he opens his eyes and we pull back to see where he is.

Or maybe you got that and you're saying it's still confusing. Either way, dually noted. :)

Thanks for the comments. I really liked your short as well. Great acting too btw. Very impressed.
 
Great short film.

Liked the cut from the fence rail to the police tape, but a slow fade or a smash to might have been nice to play it up.

Nice play on the ball theme, but i would have liked to see it somehow linked to the girl, like we see her with it at some point.

Really like the graveyard scene, especially the close up of the face, the bring it into focus. well done.

Overall the framing was beautiful. Acting top-notch. Music and lighting very nice.

It's obvious someone was paying attention to set sesign and color. I really like the scene where he wakes up after setting the stone on the box, the black fabrics and such really fit the mood and playing around with - black magic.

Two things I didn't tie together. it seems we are led to beleive the girl was killed by a drunk driver (?), but then he says 'this is where she was kept', which infers a period of time. To me the shots of the man in the car, and the then the reveal don't jive.

Really liked this one a lot. Agree the part scene was a little hurried or forced. Weak point in the whole, but it worked. It also points back to the 'kept here' comment. If the guy was friends with him, wouldn't he have know the daughter was missing?

Anyways, those morsels did not take away from the overall enjoyable experience of it.

really nice work. Sure glad you resolved you no-show actor issue and pulled this off.

a
 
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Wow! AJ my man, stellar job here. The look and feel is VERY good. I was lost in the story, but the visuals were incredible. I did feel like I was watching a long trailer. But dang, it looked and felt so cool I didn't care.
 
**SPOILERS BELOW***


The opening shot really grabbed me. Beautifully done throughout. I liked going back and forth between b&w and color. I agree that the party scene lacked a little... something... tension maybe?
The sound was great and really tied the visuals together for me. I liked the fast cutting and flashback stuff.
Seems like a lot of us broke that "rule" about working with kids. Some failed, others suceeded. I put you in the later group.

I liked the payoff ending and thought you handled the fire sequence well, without having to burn down the whole house.
Great job.
 
Nicely done. I like the audio a lot, one of the best I heard so far...How did you get that look from the DVX100a, what are the settings? Good job on this one AJ. Cheers!
 
I thought this was a very well rounded piece. Nice script, technicaally sound. The crystal section confused me slightly but overall a decent entry here.
 
shawneous said:
Wow! AJ my man, stellar job here. The look and feel is VERY good. I was lost in the story, but the visuals were incredible. I did feel like I was watching a long trailer. But dang, it looked and felt so cool I didn't care.
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Hey shawn. Thanks for the comments. I unfortunately have to completely agree about it playing like a long trailer. Those are some of my exact feelings as I watch it again. Something about it never connects us into the story and makes it feel distant.

Nicely done. I like the audio a lot, one of the best I heard so far...How did you get that look from the DVX100a, what are the settings? Good job on this one AJ. Cheers!
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I did the dvrebel method and shot it all quite bland, leaving myself room to color grade and find the balance in post.

I'm happy with how it turned out, but if I could go back I'd tweak the fire.

Thanks everyone for the comments. I love hearing the feedback good/bad.
 
This works for me in all the right ways. Tense, a great story, and your actor was good I can really feel his pain. The party scene though is a bit ... meh as some have stated. Great job working with kids, I failed at doing that lol was one of the major reasons my first film fell apart. The ending is powerful, audio and visual are both well done.

AJ Brooks said:
I did the dvrebel method and shot it all quite bland, leaving myself room to color grade and find the balance in post.
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you shot this on a DVX? It looks incredible.
 
alex whitmer said:
Two things I didn't tie together. it seems we are led to beleive the girl was killed by a drunk driver (?), but then he says 'this is where she was kept', which infers a period of time. To me the shots of the man in the car, and the then the reveal don't jive.
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Basically, the father's friend knew the daughter and the daughter knew him, making the abduction easy. The man in the car was the accomplice kidnapper.

Time jumps around. She was kept in that one place for a while, then her body was dumped at the "crime scene".

Did it really seem like a drunk driver killed her?

When the father asks him "why" he gives an evil look and laughs.

Thanks for the comments. I wanted to be vague and therefore make it more disturbing, but it's good to know if it wasn't clear.
 
Nice work. It opened really well and finished well. A little thin in the middle.

I thought the bad guy at the end should have been caught off guard by the Dads description of what he knew about the details of what happened.

I also wondered why the other guy didn't turn him in?

Good movie though. Really well shot, loved some of the transitions, very well thought out.

Cheers,

Mike
 
Loved this film! This one really worked for me on all levels. Great story, good lighting, cute little girl, acting all on target. I wouldn't change a thing!

One of my top picks of the fest! Congratulations to the cast & crew.
 
Michael Anthony Horrigan said:
I thought the bad guy at the end should have been caught off guard by the Dads description of what he knew about the details of what happened.

I also wondered why the other guy didn't turn him in?
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Are you asking why the "guy in the car" didn't turn in the "friend/kidnapper accomplice"?

I tried to show the "guy in the car" as not right in the head. In the car both times he was rocking back and forth and looking down. I had him be like the "gimp suit" from pulp fiction, so a little crazy and non-speaking when he gets to the police station.

Good question. Thanks for the comments!
 
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