"Admonition" - Dead End Films

Good story...although I don't understand the technology (as you said, it's explained in your short story). Nice job!

Spoilers---------
Compression killed the video star.
Wasn't diggin' the guitar (way too loud & out of tune)
Acting a little weak
 
The guitar in the beginning? in the end? Both?
I'll agree the guitar in the beginning doesn't exactly fit. I was 50/50 about it and decided to just go for it (mainly because I really dig the song) Now that I think about it I probably should have left it out. In the end however I really like it.
 
I liked the phone idea. The rest was a bit rough, but you know that. The thing I dig about this fest is it seems like it’s really picking people’s brains. I think this idea could have really taken off. Gotta work on some compression issues (though don’t ask me). Keep at it!
 
liked the concept and story of this but like previous posts I agree that technically it was too rough to really get into it.

but keep at it, you got good ideas :D
 
SPOILER



When the loop started, I was at first thinking my computer glitched, then it did it again and I started laughing! The moral of the story is DON'T play with the space time continuum AND don't guess when it comes to your life! Loved it. So far one of the top films for story!
 
i have to be honest. i appreciate the time you put into this but I lost faith in this one quickly and stopped watching after two minutes. you had cuts that interrupted dialogue, little or no continuity, i simply couldn't take it. sorry. i know you'll do better next time.
 
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Hey no need for apologies! I really appreciate the honesty. I can honestly say this wasn't our best effort and production wise it SHOULD have been a lot better. It really came down to time and patience, and as you can tell if we were running low on both. I blame myself for a lot of it too, certainly more than anyone else in the crew.
 
I really kind of liked the idea it just didn't surprise we when we found out he was dead. And the compression really made it hard to watch. And maybe a little more rehearsal. But good job getting it done and submitted.
 
SPOILERS BELOW


I knew a twist was coming. Maybe you could have played it up and have the mother or a friend answer and say they were both killed in an accident ... I don't know, something more profound.

Not being a techie-nerd, much of this went over my head, which is pretty easy to do, actually.

Dialogue delivery felt like they were reading que cards.

alex
 
You seemed to spend a lot of screen time on the technology surrounding the events of the film without really explaining the technology surrounding the events of the film. It was like from a structural standpoint you were placing great importance on that aspect, but from a story perspective you were saying that it really didn't matter. That confused me a bit.

Also, the acting at the end didn't work for me. The girlfriend didn't particularly sound upset, and the guys weren't particularly effects by the news.
 
You had the basic idea there for a story but, as I think you realize, that's about all. Zac mentioned continuity, but to be more specific, I think someone should point out about "crossing the line" - you had the red shirted guy on the left and then on the right continuously throughout the film. This disorientates the audience and, unless there's a very good reason for it, loses them very quickly. If you don't know about it I suggest you read up on it.

Don't get discouraged. Hey, you made a film, and that alone is 1000% further than most people get.
 
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You have the motivation to make a film and you made it - this want a lot of courage and you had this courage. Compliment! I learned that to make a film is a very complex subject. I started to read a very good filmmaking book where I can learn a lot of this subject. I like to recommend it to you: Michael Rabiger / Directing, Film Techniques and Aesthetics. I wish you all the best.

Susanne
 
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Hello all,
My name is Steve Glass and I was the director/writer for "Admonition" and I just wanted to say thanks for all the feedback. As you probably know just from watching the film (or from reading the posts) we are a very new crew to this kind of production. All of your input is so appreciated, as we will take it all into account for our next production.
Thanks again
 
Framing and camera placement and movement were an issue for me with this one. I think if the shots were tightened up and some lighting kits had cast a moody feel in the room, it may have felt more real. I liked the concept of the loop and like the surprise at the end. I did not see it coming. I agree about the acting being slightly flat at some points, but applaud the effort. Good job. Make more movies, grow and have fun!
 
I don't usually comment on things like lighting and audio because I know budgets, etc can cause issues with that. The things I focus on are writing (story) and acting (probably because those are the two things I do) and also cinematography.

The shots were a little painful for me. Static camera can work for certain things but if you don't throw in a few dolly shots, etc you can loose the audience really fast if you don't have something else to keep them entertained...like a goo story. As far as that goes, it was alright. It started out a bit slow, but in the end really rounded off with the twist and somewhat bitter ending.

Other than that, be happy that you actually completed a film. I wasn't able to accomplish that this time around. Good luck!
 
The critiques I have are really echoed in some of the previous posts. The biggest things I have to add are 1. Pacing. I say this a lot, but it can really kill your story when it is not paced well. the other major issue that I see is 2. Cutting or Camera placement. There are some great resources out there for learning how to frame and how you should cut. A good practical example of this in this FEST is A TIMELY END. If you watch (no pun intended) the scene with the young man and the antique dealer at the table, the cuts back and fourth at the are done really well and very professionally. So much that it really helps a rather slowly paced scene. If you are interested in a great resource for understanding the language of the camera and how to cut/shoot a scene, I found the following resource to be very helpful;

http://www.hollywoodcamerawork.us/index.html

The set is a little spendy, but well worth the cost.

I like your idea a lot, I think that it was real fun. Keep it up and hope to see more in the future.
 
The amount of information everyone has contributed is overwhelming (in a good way!) I really can't wait until the next festival here so that we can apply all the tips and info everyone here has given into our next film.
That "Hollywood Camera Work" course looks really helpful. I wish I could buy one volume at a time though..
 
I thought the idea of this was really good but it needed help in the acting dept. The girl at the end sounded pissed when she answered the phone and wouldn't she see the caller ID to show its his best friend? Also I thought that they were too young to be working on a project for 7 years. That would put them at like 13. Something to think about when casting a film. Also what Krestofre said about the technology.
I don't think you need to go spend bucks on that DVD because you can basically find scenes from hollywood movies that match the ones in your head and pick it apart to see what they do. I recently started to pay attention to movies that have less cuts and hang on the master shot most of the time. I may try that technique next time out instead of punching in to headshots during dialog all the time. Its needed for certain scenes but not for all. Good job and can't wait to see what you do with the new info.
 
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