"Who Invented Erika Spencer?" - A mentatDUKE Production

Alright I finally got to see this and let me start off by saying I really enjoyed it. It was very well written, pretty well acted, and all around an enjoyable film.

Some of my favorite parts:
-The reveal of Demetrius in the bathroom when they are getting the one girl ready to go out
-The dominatrix scene. I'm glad everything worked out for that guy.
-Scott taking over and doing his own video introduction

Otherwise I have some thoughts/critiques. Take them if you want, throw them out if you want.

-I really enjoyed the writing although a few parts bothered me. The reveal that all of his "talking to the camera" was actually done in his house and posted on youtube was a nice touch, but doesn't make sense to me plausably. Does this mean all of the characters hang out in his living room and talk to the camera? Including Scott?
-Also I felt like as cute as Erika was, she never really came off as being worth fighting for. She left the protagonist very quickly over a jerk boyfriend and he spent the rest of the movie fighting for her. I feel like in order for us to want him t get back to her she needs to either appear like an even better girl at the beginning, or have a better reason for leaving. The boyfriend needs to offer her something better than the protagonist can, or the protagonist needs to mess up and give her a reason to leave. Otherwise we root for him to meet a new, better girl.
-The camera work could use some more attention. A lot of the shots were jittery on movement, or out of focus with the adapter. I think because this is a romantic comedy, it could have worked without the adapter. A little more attention to the camera work would help.
-What was Demetrius' pay off at the end? It didn't make sense to me.
-I found the Beatles music distracting. There was so much of it and it's so recognizable that it drew my attention away from what was happening on screen. Also there were so many different songs that it got to be too much. I think you should try and get a composer or find independent musicians to score this.

Those are just some thoughts. I really enjoyed the style of the piece. It felt very TV'ish which I like. It really fit the mood and tone of your piece well.

Overall great job and keep up the good work.
 
smashedburrito said:
-I found the Beatles music distracting. There was so much of it and it's so recognizable that it drew my attention away from what was happening on screen. Also there were so many different songs that it got to be too much. I think you should try and get a composer or find independent musicians to score this.
Click to expand...

This is something that struck me as well. At some points I even got the feeling that I had left itunes playing in the background because I listen to the beatles so often.
 
Sorry to be late to the party. I watched this a little bit ago, but just got around to posting now!

Overall I liked it a lot. It kept me entertained throughout, which I think says a lot, especially about the writing.

Your actors were pretty good, although I think you should have found a better looking actor to play Scott. The actor played a jerk very well, but it wasn't too clear to me what he had to offer Erica that the protagonist didn't. Not to say that looks alone are something to offer, but he had the job/money thing going, and looks on top of that would have given us the whole package without having to delve too deep into their former relationship. "Well, he's rich and good looking, I can see why she dated/went back to him."

Your actors did a commendable job, the shots looked good to me, audio seemed good. The only other thing I would point out is the overall look seemed desaturated to me. Perhaps that was deliberate though...it didn't really bother me much...I just noticed it.

Good job and good luck on your future projects.
 
It was the quicktime version I saw, yes. I'll check out that other version when I get home from work. Thanks!
 
Hey Layi,

Great job! Romantic comedies are hard to pull off. The major problem I had with Erika Spencer was the character Erika Spencer. The actress who played her was cute as a button, but as written, she comes across very bland and two dimensional. Especially when all your other characters are so quirky and fun! We never really understand why the hero is so madly in love with her. In romantic comedies it's important for the audience to fall in love with the girl too. Not just looks, but some weird, lovable quirks that make the character unique... Julie Roberts in Pretty Woman, Meg Ryan in When Harry met Sally, Diane Keaton in Annie Hall, etc... and the best example is in your movie, Ji hyun Jun in My Sassy Girl. What a memorable character she was! The brain freeze scene in your film was a good start, but I wish it had gone further.

I feel Erika's best scene was in the blooper reel, when the door opens and she is leaning up against the wall and says, Heeellloooo. That was very cute and funny, and I would have liked to see her play it more like that throughout the film. Then I would have understood why he loved her so much. :)
 
Hey Max, thanks for the feedback. It's really insightful. I agree that all the other characters are quirky and Erika is "normal". I was a bit torn on that issue. I wanted to differentiate her character from the rest, so I made her the "straight-man". That way, she'd be a foil for the Protagonist with his quirks and foibles. I considered making her more quirky or weird, but decided that it didn't work. The Protag is already quirky and weird. I wanted them to be total opposites from different worlds. They needed to contrast each other in order for the conflict with Scott to work (she's from Scott's world).

I think I disagree with you regarding Diane Keaton in Annie Hall. That film actually inspired this one. We borrowed a lot from it, especially the character configuration. Annie is the straight-man in that film. Woody is completely bonkers in it and living in his own world. Remember the scene where they're waiting in line at the theater? "I heard what youwere saying. You know nothing of my work..."

When making a film about how an eccentric character "sees" the love interest, it's better to make her the straight-man. "Somthing about Mary" did it. "Annie Hall" did it. "High Fidelity" did it. "Ferris Bueller" did it. And "Erika Spencer" tries to do it... in a 20-minute film.

Thanks for the feedback, Max. Glad you watched the blooper reel too.
 
Good point about her playing the straight character. If the two leads were too similar in personality it wouldn't work. Opposites attract is the right way to go. I just think that Erika should have been more memorable somehow. Certainly Diane Keaton's character was less extreme than Woody Allen's, but she was hilarious in her own way. Her character was very unique and memorable.

It would have been nice to know Erika a little more... I know it's hard to do in a short, maybe this should be a feature!
 
Hm...the feature eh? I wonder if it'd hold long enough for a feature? It would have to include a lot of scenarios similar to the ones in the short I think.

-Kegan
 
Yeah, you're right Max. I wish I could have given Erika a subplot. If it were a feature, I'd definitely have her interact onscreen with Scott a lot more. Maybe also show the audience what she's like with her own group of friends.

It's definitely a short that wished it was a feature.
 
Why don't you do a spin-off, focusing on Erika Spencer! Since she didn't get her time to shine, give her a whole feature to herself haha.

As for the movie being a short that wished it was a feature - it wasn't in a bad way at all, I don't think. It just had more POTENTIAL as a feature I guess.

-Kegan
 
Interesting ideas Kegan. I don't think I can stomach the Erika Spencer universe anymore. I'm burnt out on it. The next projects will definitely build on all the lessons learned on this one though.
 
Okay, I finally watched it. Having to rely on the internet at work is just crazy!! Anyway, I liked what you did here. It was very funny and entertaining throughout. Great job of writing. I think all the actors did an excellent job and on a side note - that Kalob guy cracks me up. He's just funny and doesn't have to even do anything. You should put him in all your movies.

I liked the different backgrounds the guy had when doing his monologue. I remember thinking, 'how many do they have?' LOL. Them things ain't cheap. Also, I really liked the shot at the end when you went from the protag. to the computer and showed him talking and then back to the real him. That was real cool and creative. The S&M stuff was funny and that was a nice shot of the domimatrix' (or whatever) breasts begging to breathe out of that leather.

The "Please Don't Sue Us" in the credits was also hilarious and I see you were able to use alot of different locations. That's never easy, so good job.

The only minor critique I can muster is the camera seemed shaky or jittery in a few of the pans, like when the protagonist entered his room at the end and you showed his set up (the lights and tripod and etc.). When you paned from him to the equipment the camera just seemed a little too shaky. I guess sometimes there's nothing wrong with shaky, but you have to show that it's intended. That shot just seemed to want us to believe it was still on a tripod when it wasn't. If you would have maybe zoomed in and zoomed out a couple of times on certain items I don't think it would have been noticable at all - a la "The Shield". (They have alot of shaky camera work, but you know that it's intended and you're getting a sort of real, bird's eye view). Heck, it may not be noticable to anybody else anyway here, especially if they're not filmmakers.

Good job and keep up the good work! You got comedic skills, man.
 
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