CARRY-ON - A Caffesse/Wildman Film

Wow, very nice work. Actors both very good and it had a very spontaneous feeling to it. I loved watching the way they played off each other and it really got me focused on the story and their interactions instead of the technical aspects. Always a mark of well crafted films.

The one choice I didn't like (though it's likely this is just a personal opinion) is the crane shot from him trying to give the watch back to her in the bookstore up to her face. I noticed the move more than any of the other ones and I think it might've been more effective to just tilt up, and possibly to even get in a tighter framing there. Granted, that's minor and about the only thing I could find I didn't like out of the whole thing. You've made my top 3.

Nice job sir.
 
Luis... dude, again, I don't comment frequently, but I gotta say it. You knocked it out of the park.

Yes I had some problems with the male lead's acting, and yes it was a tad repetitious. But I just loved the ending, because it really reinforced why she was so desperate to go on this trip. A real gut twister at the end there, that really made us think about what we'd seen in the prior five minutes.

And it looked fantastic. Perhaps a little "too shallow" in many scenes; it looked a little "adapter-y" to me, but that's a minor gripe. First rate execution, first-rate all the way, well done.

Heck, so far the mods are batting 1,000 in here: I think Jason and you have both done exceptionally well for being first-time entrants, and JDS's film is probably his strongest yet. Hats off to the Mod Squad! :thumbsup:
 
Luis. WOW. This was an amazing film. You've been holding out on us, pal!

The actors were really terrific. The female is very much at the center of this story ( I say this because she is at the center of the conflict), so I'll focus on her. She did quite well. I love her transition during the climax. She came off so sweet and understanding until the outdoor night scene when she finally lost it and started cursing. Great display of range.

The male actor was great too. He definitely sold the "whoops, I'm in way over my head here" vibe.

The photography was georgeous. I for one loved the saturation and shallow DOF. The woman's house at the end was beautiful also. Nice touch showing toys on the ground. She has kids! :(

The sound mix was really professional also.

I noticed your location says Austin. We shot our film in Austin also (I'm based in Houston). I'd love to work with you in the future. I'm sure I can learn a whole heck of a lot.

Great job! My top pick.
 
Again - thanks to everyone for your comments.
I'm learning a lot from what everyone is saying, and I appreciate the time you guys are taking in watching and commenting on the films.

Matthew R. Rodwell said:
Luis, was that Bookpeople?
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No - it's actually a small(er) independent bookstore, Whole Life Books.
It's right next door to Alamo South.
The place could not have worked out better.

mentatDUKE said:
I noticed your location says Austin. We shot our film in Austin also (I'm based in Houston). I'd love to work with you in the future.
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Let me know next time you're in town and let's grab a cup of coffee... or whatever you prefer.... coffee just happens to be my poison.
:)

Yeah, I'm exciting like that.
 
Please don't take any offense at my brief initial (and seemingly light-hearted) criticism... the truth is that I'm in awe of a few entries so far... your's being one of them. It makes me feel stupid to apply a critical eye to something so well done.

After I watch this a dozen times and show all my local production friends what a short should be like... using your entry as an example of why my footage never made it here... I'll probably have a more enlightened analysis for you, but for now I can't get past the wow factor in these shorts (within the cream of the crop).
 
Luis, my man. I haven't commented yet b/c I've already shared with you how good I thought your film was, and b/c I'm trying to devote my limited time before heading out to try to hit some folks who I haven't spoken with....

But, anyways....

Yeah.... It really is a solid entry and plays very well, and back from when I saw an early script, I thought it was clever and would very likely be one of the better stories in the fest. Your execution of what you put on the page totally did it justice.

So, there. There's my public compliment to you :beer:

Great job, man... No need to elaborate on that, as everyone else's posts are quite indicative (is that the right word?:) ) of that fact.

ModSquad first timer's unite!

later,
Jason
 
When you have a lot of dialog in only a few minutes your taking a huge risk in my opinion. But you pulled it off, your actors are fantastic. The shots, audio and story really worked well. One of my favorites. Brilliant
 
liked this a lot cause if the interesting script. a daring lot of dialogue for a short film but it worked well. And the acting of the female lead was great.

I do have to agree with the comment that it "looked a little "adapter-y"
good job and succes in the competition
 
Luis

Your actors are wonderful; do you know them or was this the usual audition process ? What did you have them read for that sold you on them ?

I also, loved the the shot when she goes home and then we get a sort of POV of her husband as she approaches the couch/living room.

LOVE IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
I agree - the actors here are wonderful.

Also, I don't think I mentioned it earlier, but the writing is great. You chose the perfect size story for a short film and managed to convey so much nuance and depth.

I've watched a third of the films and so far this one is my favorite.
 
I thought this was edited very well. I liked the shots and the cut. The reveal at the end was well done. I wasn’t sure how this was going to end. Well done.
I thought the first few scenes had the saturation too high. I thought the day to night transition happened too soon.



Nice film. Very well done!
 
I really appreciate all the comments!

The one criticism I have to pick out and discuss is the 'adapter-y' look.

Well, you guys really opened my eyes! I'm not going to defend the look or agree on this (at least not right now - i don't want to watch our own film again for a long while!) but what I want to focus on is this entire review process by the community.

If we didn't hear this feedback, I don't think we would have gone back and looked at this aspect (DOF) of shooting 'Carry On.'

After reading your critiques on the DOF, I thought to myself, damn, we never really evaluated that in post, talked about, critiqued ourselves along those lines.

I feel like I already learned a lot from the confines of the rules and the deadline, but your open critiques is going to allow us to take a refreshing new look at our work when all is said and done.

That is the thing I appreciate the most thus far. Thanks everyone, keep 'em coming!
 
Yeah - Cliff's absolutely right on that DOF issue.
We talked about it this morning, and he brought up a good point - much like color correction - after the initial 'shock' of seeing your own footage, it kind of wears off.
During editing, we went over so much of the footage looking always for performance (and secondly for continuity) that I guess we just got used to the way it looked.

It's so great to be able to get feedback from everyone - I mean, when one person says something to you you're often left wondering if you should seriously consider it or not...but when you hear the same thing from various sources you know it's at least something to go back and really examine.

I'm not usually one to throw myself to the wolves like this - but I absolutely see the benefits of it.
Rest assurred - anything we do from here on out is getting put out there for feedback.

J.R. Hudson said:
Your actors are wonderful; do you know them or was this the usual audition process ?
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Thanks, they're going to love hearing all these comments.
:)

Actually we didn't hold any sort of audition.
I met Anne about 3 years ago when I helped a friend on a shoot for a talent agency in town. They needed someone to come in and shoot some prepared scenes, so that they could have a showreel of their talent. There were probably twenty or so actors that day - and she definitely stuck in my mind. Unfortunately we haven't done anything since then that I thought she would be a good fit for... until we had this story.

So I got in touch wtih her out of the blue - reminded her how I met her years ago, and told her we had a story that I thought she'd be perfect for. The three of us got together, we pitched her the story and talked for a while about the concept (we still didn't have a script at that point). She agreed to do the part, and so we asked her if she had any actors she could recommend for the male lead. We were hoping to get someone she was familiar and comfortable with already - and once we met Scott we really liked his attitude and enthusiasm. We saw a couple of samples of his work online and knew he could pull it off - so we asked if he'd be willing to play the role.

So neither of them actually read for anything - we just sat down and talked about the ideas. We liked them both, liked their ideas, and liked their attitudes.
So we took it from there.

Harrel (who plays the other role) we also found through the same talent agency that Anne is repped by.
He actually had a few more lines which we cut in post - not because of him - but just because honestly they were not good lines.
I'm glad to see from some of the comments that we've gotten that he is still coming across the way we intended - and honestly I think he did a great job with the few seconds of time he has in the piece.

I also, loved the the shot when she goes home and then we get a sort of POV of her husband as she approaches the couch/living room.
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Thanks.
Originally we wanted to push in, like we did, making it feel like a POV - and then have her come into the left side of frame... just barely. But the geography of the room (and the size of the dolly track) didn't leave us enough room for that. It just never looked natural. The thing you can't see in those shots is that the camera is right up against a wall. But I'm happy with how it turned out.
 
Hi Luis, its about time you entered a fest. I was getting bored of you critiqing and not putting up the goods :-)

Well, you did and I have to say it was very well done. More than anything the script stood out to me and is up there with the best this fest has to offer. I hope you enter more fests because you have the chops. very well done.
 
Luis Caffesse said:
And Jared - thanks for taking the time to write detailed feedback like that. I really appreciate it.
I'd gladly answer the quesitons you posed - but I'd rather wait for some other reactions to come in (and I'm not certain if you were actually looking for answers, or asking rhetorically).
:)
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Hey Luis - no worries. I don't think anyone else had the same problems, it was probably just me. Again, nice work :thumbsup:
 
CARRY-ON -- Double Entendre?

O' Luis, Cliff? Canst though tell me? I wondered that from the get-go. Such a minor detail, but after watching it the name really fits. In two ways: Baggage and, well: Carry on, folks.

I gotta say this is a really strong visual piece. There are great key locations, some seriously nice composition for the most part and there's one really striking moment where your lighting peaks. It's the part where she walks away, facing frame right and she lands her mark beneath light. That turned the entire mood proper for me. While the earlier parts seemed a bit bright for the subject matter, they still work.

And now we go to the subject matter. Hang out for a second...

In the beginning there's a moment of obscurity, confusion immediately beset upon the audience. She said something and at first it really does sound like she said something bad. Because, we have no idea what the relationship between these two are until the library. At first I'm TOTALLY fine with it and I keep watching. Then he's very curious as to what she meant and it continues on through the entirety of the first scene, bleeding over into the second scene/location. This is where I felt like I should've already known what she said, especially if it was I LOVE YOU and he was having an issue with it.

It broke up the moment before and after for me, which got redeemed by the sudden argumentative bout. And, that was a one way argument which is atypical to a relationship: there always seems to be one person going for calm, one person going for the throat. This was all well and good and started to work again before we hit--

The retaliation. It seemed so abrupt on her part to lash out like that, and then have him turn belly up. I think I know WHY she lashed out, emotionally, but the abrupt change in pace and character voice caught me.

So, in the end I think what's off for me is pacing. Everything else was right with me, and this is the first thing I've ever seen from you two. =\ I wish my first time out would've been a lot more planned and this impressive.. I have a problem-- at age twenty-five-- with the concept of marriage. I now have a bigger problem with it; thanks.
 
I'm about to get into ONE technicality here because I went back and skimmed the thread briefly.

The Adapter Look. NOW HOLD ON. Don't go sayin' "AGH GAHD NOT AGAIN!"

Hear me out. The reason, I suspect, that people are on about the "adapter" feel is because of frame composition. Go back to COFFEE SHOP OTS on WOMAN. That doesn't feel completely adapterish.

Then, take a look at the reverse. There's a bit much goin' on with the head room. Reframe that shot in 2.35:1 and tell me what it looks like. Granted, there's a very shallow field here... I think MAYBE a wider-tighter lens/camera placement would've been a better choice to take advantage of the background. But, in the end, it's a choice.

Composition really makes a huge difference in the adapterish feeling of things and I think there are hit and misses here. The big thing here was composition and not so much "look it's an adapter".

That might be me!
 
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