WHERE THE HEART LIES ... Johnson, Hyten, Golden & Bullis

Well, here we are with our 'lil film and Matty G comes over and starts dissing us for shooting on a "toy camera." he had his big ol' RED ONE with him and he waves it around the room making sort of a strange skunky sound that I guess was intended to either intimidate us or maybe just to serve as scorn. He starts mouthing off about how his film is going to win everything because of the latitude of the RED and he says, "all you guys got is a purty actress." Needless to say, Tim came unhinged and caught Matty with a punch to the solar plexus. I slunk around to avoid his flailing arms and toppled the RED to the ground where it split into three main pieces from out of which a hamster and four cockroaches crawl. Matty is all "you hurt my camera! You hurt my camera!" but Tim is all "you want another piece of this, big boy?" Eventually, Matty calmed down and admitted it was all his fault and that he had become drunk with the power of the RED. He asked our forgiveness, which we afforded him after a couple sharp blows to the head as a reminder not to mess with the Fat Monsters. He got some duct tape and sort of wrapped it around the camera and lurched off all hunched over while hissing "my precious .... my precioussssss."
 
haa haa haa!!!! I heard that RED was going to change the industry! LOL! I think that I will stick with my little ol' dvx100b.
 
this explains a lot Mark.
First of all, now I know why I kept hearing that the RED is so awesome that it could withstand a nuclear warhead and all the radiation. Its those damn cockroaches. they must be the fail safe system in case the hamster dies. Those things can live off the dead hamster for an indefinite amount of time. AHA!!!!!

And second, I've heard about the seductive power of the red, and about how only short hairy camera men are less prone to it. but unfortunately they are never allowed to work on Red Cameras, well, first because they are short. Lets face it, who wants to be stuck with the same angle looking up for the whole picture. Second because they are hairy and that just doesn't sit well with the leading ladies. and Third because of those damn red ninjas. They are just so f#king fast and they too have been seduce by the power of the red.
 
As a short man, myself, Luis, I can both sympathize with and appreciate your astute analysis. Long ago I had a dream - albeit a small and sheltered one - of some day becoming a director. Shortly after arriving here a bunch of bikers from the high desert rode into town and threatened me within an inch of my life and advised me to give up that dream because I am too short. I've since learned that only tall good looking men and women can direct (outside of New York City where a perverse bizarro universe prevails) and that the only exception is for asians who are fated to die within two years. Thus, I consulted a psychic on Venice Beach and learned that Tim Hyten is going to be shot by some woman's raging husband in 2009. Plenty of time to make some films and then I cash in the insurance. Suh-weet!
 
Good, God. This thread is over 20,000. Go home people. Nothing to see here except the rantings of short men and those who wish they were short men. Move along! Move along please. Do NOT VIEW THIS. .... Do not encourage me ..... help.
 
Oh, remember the days.....

what a great time.

Those hot tub days were pretty damn great!

And the T-shirt-sh*t was endless fun!
 
disjecta said:
Mark, just out of curiosity, how many frickin' emails do I have to send to you before you respond?

I'm just sayin'
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Ya, crazee Irishman. I wrote back a day ago and said "yassuh! We got it!" and said I'd host it on our blog for the next entry (which will be today, by the way).

If you didn't get that message it must be because your telepathic receiver is on the fritz.

Nicely done. I just went and saw that you posted it on Vienna's forum. I love that song.

Now shut up and drink your Guiness. BOLLOCKS!!!
 
disjecta said:
I never got it, ya mad bastard, I think you dreamt that you sent that email.
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My dreams are hot and steamy windows into what could be had Ms. Zeta Jones made a different choice for aging husband. They do not, however, include emails to you, my friend.

I did not dream I sent that e-mail ... I imagined it.
 
As I said, Johnson, you are a mad bastard.

Did you guys get my hard drive yet?

This will conclude my personal messages to you :)
 
ATTENTION LOS ANGELES AREA DVXUSERS:

We will be holding a screening of LoveFest entries at FAT MONSTER FILMS on Thursday evening. The night promises to be worth the trek to the East Side guys. If interested in being on the invite list, please PM or e-mail BLAINE.
 
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