Noa/Rice Digital & Narrow Road Entertainment Presents: "Broken Shadows"

I'm not sure if you want feedback or not, but here it goes...
I liked the premise, but a few things bothered me:
1. The entire script was four people talking, that's it. Just talking. So, nothing really happened.
2. There was no ending.
3. I didn't feel anything for the characters, probably because the only development was through the dialogue of the four characters.

Like I said, I liked the premise, but on the other hand, I didn't totally know what was going on. Just my two cents.
 
Yea, which is one of the reasons why we aren't shooting it. I was preparing to do a page 1 re-write when Brandon got inspired to do the Christmas film.

Thanks for the comments...I agree with them. I think I was again trying to put too much story in too little time. I had some alternate ideas for the next draft that I think may have resolved some of the issues, but it's all a moot point now :)

But thanks for the feedback, as I still intend to take the full story and make a longer project out of it (hopefully with a few more locations, less talking heads, and more action/drama :) )

Peace,
Larry
 
Hey Larry, I'm not sure if you were really looking for feed back on your script but I sent you a PM earlier on what I thought of the script. In short, great stuff. Hopefully I didn't offend you with any of my notes. Cheers - Jeremy
 
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